Filed to story: Sorry Alpha I Am Wolfless Novel
This time, when I looked at the imps’ faces, I saw that they were indeed more childlike than devilish. They looked like three identical, innocent little boys. And all three of them looked like my Fido.
“OK, I am projecting here. These adorable little imps are looking like Joaquin because I miss him.” I laughed at myself and my absurdity.
While I had been slightly distracted, two of the imps approached me with sweet little grins. Right now, that little face reminded me of Reagan and Rika. They looked so innocent yet so filled with mischief, just like my children.
The two imps that approached me took my hands while looking happily into my eyes. The third imp was still near the door, pointing at it with excited gestures while smiling at me just like the other two boys.
NO! I had to stop imagining that they were children. They weren’t little kids! They’re imps. They’re little creatures that will play tricks on me and cause problems whenever they can. Though, they are helping me right now. Still, that’s not the point.
The little imp that was still by the door mimed opening it and smiled at me. I don’t know why, but all three of these imps were completely silent. They didn’t make any noise at all while they were walking or anything else.
“You want me to go through this door?” I asked the boy in front of me. IMP! I had to remind myself internally not to think it was a child for real. The imp didn’t say anything, he just nodded his head and continued to point at the door. “Will it take me home?” I asked them and didn’t like the answer that I got from them. They paused and hesitated, but eventually they did nod at me and indicate that it would. Why did they pause? Why did they act like they didn’t know for sure? “Fine.” I sighed, resigned to the fact that this was my only option.
After taking a deep breath, I opened the door, steeled my nerves, and stepped through to the other side. I mean, what was the worst that could happen?
****
Joaquin
****
The kids were taking things harder than I had thought they would. The three of them love their mom so much and, with her gone like this, they felt like they had been abandoned. Honestly, I didn’t expect the level of anger that Reagan and Rika were having right now.
The more that I listened to them, the way that they were venting over it, they weren’t blaming Riviana. They didn’t place the blame on her at all. They weren’t blaming me, the triplets, Talia, the guards, or anyone else close to my Little Bunny.
No, Reagan and Rika were blaming themselves for what was going on. I heard them talking among themselves before dinner the day they found out what was going on and it damn near destroyed me.
“I can’t believe that I let this happen.” Reagan sounded like he was on the verge of tears when he spoke to Rika. I had gone to call them for dinner since we were keeping staff in the tower at a minimum right now.
“It wasn’t just you, Rea. I didn’t notice that Momma was sick either. I didn’t pick up on the fact that she needed us. I was too caught up in my own thing. I was too focused on getting back to school.” Rika was just as close to tears as Reagan was.
“What should we do now, Rika? How are we going to help Momma? What are we even capable of doing?”
“I don’t know, Reagan. I just don’t know.” Rika was crying now. I could hear it in her voice, and I could smell the tears in the air.
“Don’t cry, RiRi. Don’t cry.” Reagan cried while he said this to his sister. “We will figure something out.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to step in and make them understand that it wasn’t their fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.
I stepped into the sitting room that they were in. I saw that Reagan was standing behind Rika as she sat on the footstool. Rika’s face was in her hands and Reagan was hugging her head against his chest. Seeing them there like that, so small and powerless, it made me feel like I couldn’t do anything for them or my wife.
“Reagan? Rika?” I called out to them and they barely moved, they just looked up at me with their eyes.
“Dad?” Reagan tried not to cry, he tried to be a ‘man’ in front of me.
“Daddy?” Rika didn’t care about remaining strong for me, she was my little girl and she knew it.
“Come here.” I moved toward them quickly, holding my arms out for them. Despite everything, despite Reagan wanting to be strong and not show him emotions, the both of them moved toward me and allowed me to hold them in my arms.
They didn’t say anything at all while I held them against me. They just hugged me back. Rika was silently crying on my right shoulder where she had buried her face. Reagan, though, was not letting it out, he was holding it in.
“You don’t have to be strong right now, son. You can cry, it’s OK.”
“But Dad, I..I can’t. I can’t be a man if I cry.” That broke my heart. I had never once told him that and I don’t know where he learned it, but I was going to fix that right now.
“Reagan, am I a man? Am I strong and brave? Can I take care of my family?”
“Y..yes, Dad.” That was such a weak voice that I barely heard it.
“Good, I am glad that you think so, because I cry too, son. I cry when I have to. I cried when I found out that Mommy was sick. I cried the first time that I held you in my arms. I have cried a lot of times over the years. Crying doesn’t make you less of a man. Being brave doesn’t make you a man either, son. No, in my opinion, to be a man you need to stand up for what you love, protect your family, and always try your best. If you can do that for me, Reagan, you will be the best man possible.”
“Thank you, Dad.” He tried to hold the tears back long enough to say that but he finally cried. He was already burying his face in my shoulder and crying along with his sister. “I miss her, Daddy. I miss my mom and I want her back.”
“Me too, Daddy, I want Mommy to wake up.” Rika sobbed in agreement with her brother.
“I want her to wake up too. But we just need to keep loving her and to keep being there for her, and I just know that she will wake up soon. Can you two do that for me?”
“Uh huh.”
“Yes, Dad.” They pulled back at the same time and looked me in the eyes as they answered. They were still so much alike for it to be adorable.
I carried them down to the dining room and we ate dinner together with Talia. So far, we hadn’t even told mom, Eve, Wesley, or Samuel about all of this. They still had their places here in the castle, but Eve and Wesley were living in Riviana Falls since Wesley was the Mayor. And Mom was living in Samuel’s family home ever since they got married a couple of years ago. That meant, unless we invited more people to the table, it was just our family now.
I saw that Reagan and Rika’s eyes were red from crying so much, but so were Talia’s. I hadn’t seen Talia crying but she must have been at some point when she was alone. I hate that my baby girl was crying while I wasn’t there to comfort her.
