Filed to story: Sorry Alpha I Am Wolfless Novel
“Joaquin?” She looked at me confused. I think she was worried about the intensity of my words and the sadness in my voice. I really didn’t want to worry her at all, but I was having so much trouble keeping everything to myself.
“Come on, Little Bunny, let’s get these clothes off of you. The bath is almost done filling up, so you need to get in soon.” I didn’t say anything else for the moment. I didn’t want to worry her anymore. I needed to control my emotions better. I needed to do better for her.
Silently, I started to pull her clothes off of her. I started with her jeans for some reason. I guess to avoid looking at the marks that I knew were going to be different. Once they were off, along with her shoes, I started to lift her shirt up and over her head. I wanted to get her into the tub right away, even though we still have a little bit before it was done; tubs this large took a really long time to finish filling up.
The moment that I lifted my Little Bunny’s shirt I noticed something else that was different about her. All of the marks that she had on her collarbone, chest, and shoulders were gone. All of them. All the marks from the Goddesses and the God were no longer there. The mate mark that I had given her, the one that had changed several times already, had changed once again.
That mate mark was now just an elaborate and elegant looking letter ‘R’ that looked like someone skilled at calligraphy had given her a tattoo on her neck. It was black and in a circle like most mate marks were. I could only hope that the ‘R’ meant Joaquin, which would also mean that I was able to stay with her.
All of the other marks I had come to know and love all over her body, all the ones that I was so used to were no longer there. I immediately missed them, wishing to see them again. I guess you don’t need blessings from Gods and Goddesses when you yourself are in fact a Goddess. That made sense to me at least.
There was something else, though. I noticed in the mirror that there was a mark that never used to be there. A new one right there on her back. It was done in a very dark shade of gray and in the shape of a trinity symbol. It even had a circle around it, like the one that we often used for official royal business. It also looked like another tattoo that had been beautifully done on her skin. There was nothing else, just those two marks.
She went from having so many marks, several different ones, to having only this one mark. It wasn’t small though. It was quite big compared to all the others. It was there between her shoulder blades and took up the entire space. If it had actually been a real tattoo, it would have taken a long time to finish it compared to the other smaller marks.
“Your marks.” I said as I ran a hand over her back.
“They’re gone now, aren’t they?” She sounded sad, as if to not have them made her feel empty or something.
“The ones that you did have are gone, yes. But you do have another mark. The mate mark, here, changed.” I told her as I rested my hand against her neck. “And you have another mark here.” I said as I placed both of my hands on the mark that was there on her back.
“A new mark?” She didn’t sound all that concerned or worried about there being a new mark. “What does it look like?” When she lifted her head and our eyes met, I saw that she had tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.
“It’s a trinity symbol. It’s dark gray and has a circle around its outer loops.”
“Just the one, and it’s not even colorful. What about the mate mark?” Her voice was flat as she lowered her head until she could rest it against my chest.
“Black circle with an elaborate letter ‘R’ in it.”
“Well, I guess I am no longer an overly tattooed rainbow freak.” She tried to laugh but it ended up coming out in a sob.
“Riviana?” I didn’t know what to do at the moment.. I didn’t even know why she was crying. What was I supposed to do right now?
****
Joaquin
****
“They’re gone, Joaquin. They’re all gone.” She was still crying, pressing her face against my chest.
“You’re still you, even without the marks.” I didn’t know what else to say.
“That’s not the point.” She shook her head and finally lifted her head again. “The marks being gone mean that Nehalennia, Thoth, and Danu are really gone.”
“But you already knew that they were gone.” I was confused.
“I know. I know that I knew it because I was there when their power became mine, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t hold out hope that there would still be some sort of evidence of them still with me. I hoped that their marks would still be there, on my body, to prove that they were always with me.”
I think I am starting to get it now. She was afraid that they would never be there for her again.
“They are part of you now, Little Bunny, they will always be there to help you when you need it because they are you.”
“I know, Joaquin, I know.” She was still crying. There was just no stopping it right now.
Not knowing what else to do, I took off the rest of her clothes as well as my own. Once we were both naked, I held her against my body and carried her over to the tub. It was ready for us now, so I stepped into it and shut the water off.
I sat in the water and cradled my Little Bunny against me again. I didn’t want to let her go. I didn’t want to stop touching her. I needed this closeness with her. I needed to know that she was with me always and forever.
Neither of us moved for a while, and neither of us talked for even longer. Without breaking the silence in the room, I had eventually started to clean her up a little bit, but I was more worried with just keeping her comfortable than anything else.
After a long time had passed, I decided that I needed to be the one to speak first. I could tell that my Little Bunny just wasn’t going to be the first one to say anything, not this time anyway.
“Riviana?”
“Yes, Joaquin?” Her voice was so quiet that I barely heard it, at least she answered, though.
“Are you alright?” Above all else, even above wanting to make sure that we were going to be always together, that’s what I needed to know first.
“I don’t know.” That wasn’t very comforting.
“Will you talk to me? Please? Just tell me what is bothering you.” I didn’t want her to know that I was worrying so much, I just wanted her to think that I cared about her and that was all.
“I don’t think I really know who I am anymore, Joaquin. I don’t know what to do now.” That was sad to hear. I didn’t like hearing how heartbroken she was.
