Filed to story: Loving You In My Final Days
“”The moment I laid eyes on her, my life changed forever…”” he started. His voice as he read was somewhat different to Abi’s ear. It wasn’t that cold but she couldn’t call it warm either. He was reading out loud as if he was reading a newspaper article on the movements of the stock market – in an emotionless monologue.
However, Abi didn’t mind. His voice had always been pleasing to her ears, like a deep and soothing baritone. This was more than she had expected. She was just so incredibly happy at that moment.
“”I fell in love with her, so deeply in love, that I was tormented by it. I knew we wouldn’t have long together but none of those things mattered to her. All she cared about was loving me. She didn’t run away when she found out that I wasn’t going to be in this world in the near future. That was the extent of her love. So, I gave in and I asked her to be my wife…””
As Alex continued reading, Abi’s smile slowly faded as she listened to that part of the chapter. She started to feel emotional and tears started to pool in the corners of her eyes but she fought it hard and smiled again. Even though she had read this book many times, Abi felt like this time around, it hit her so much harder. She truly loved the characters in this book, especially the male lead, Zero, a man who was a product of a certain experiment and was created to live a short life. The feeling of wanting to be with the person he loved, not thinking too much about the future and just doing the things that the heart wanted, despite the little time Zero had left, that was exactly how she felt. She didn’t want to think about the future. She just wanted to just do whatever her heart wanted with the little time she had left… she just wanted to…
At that moment, a realization dawned on Abi and she suddenly clenched her fists tightly.
Alex paused and looked at her. “What? You don’t like the way I read?” he asked and Abi jolted back to the present. She blinked away the tears, unclenched her fists, and looked up at him. When she saw the lines on his forehead, Abi quickly cleared her throat.
“Ahem… actually, your voice seems a little different than usual. It was so nice that I was lost in thought listening to you.” She grinned and Alex glanced at the book for a while before looking at her again.
“What do you mean, different?”
“I mean, your voice sounds even more pleasing when you’re reading. Now, please continue,” she told him, still smiling, and Alex just stared at her for a moment before he finally returned his focus to the book.
“”When I saw Hina walk down the aisle, my heart nearly stopped beating. She was so beautiful and in that moment, I couldn’t wait to call her my wife, to be the man that she wanted me to be, to fill her life with so many amazing memories of our life together, no matter how short it might be.””
For some reason, Alex took a short pause.
Abi looked up at him with questions in her eyes but the man’s expression remained the same. However, the look in his eyes visibly changed. For a moment, she saw his pupils dilated. Abi blinked and and frowned a little but before she could speak, Alex continued again.
“”Just as my dearest Hina wished, at sunset at a secluded garden with just less than a hundred guests, our hearts and souls were merged into one. We became husband and wife.””
Alex paused again. This time, a little longer.
“Alex?” Abi called out softly and the man glanced down at her.
Upon hearing Abi call his name, Alex seemed to have been pulled out from his deep thoughts. His gaze snapped towards Abi and he cleared his throat, almost as if he too was hiding something at that moment.
“I don’t understand why these characters are doing this,” he then told her in his normal tone and expression. “Do you?” he asked, his eyes seemed to be burning with something strange as he asked that. There was no way Abi could tell what that unfathomable gaze of his was saying so she could only think that it might be some intense interest.
“Mmm… I do… I think I do. If I try to put myself in the character’s shoes, I would also do the same,” she answered honestly and certainly, causing Alex to crease his brows.
“Why would you do that?” Alex’s face was serious and his gaze became even deeper as he stared at her. His gaze was probing and Abi felt like he might have found her words a little suspicious. That thought scared Abi. She had thought about this possibility when she picked this book and particularly the chapter. She knew there was a risk that Alex might pick up on something but even then, she still chose this book. This book meant a lot to her and that was the reason why she put this activity on her wishlist and that particular chapter especially had an important place in her heart. She wanted to hear it from Alex’s mouth because she thought that even if her wish of getting married would never be fulfilled, listening to the story of Zero’s and Hina’s experiences from Alex’s mouth would be enough for her.
Alex didn’t know how much Abi was struggling to control her emotions as she answered him. “Because… if I only had a little time left, I would want to experience life to the fullest with the person I love most in the world.” She managed to keep her cool and answered him normally. “Wouldn’t you? In fact, if you agree to marry me, I also will marry you no matter what,” Abi replied before she suddenly looked at him with twinkling eyes as a huge grin formed on her face. “Alex, will you mar -“
The man immediately looked like a vein would soon pop on his forehead as he cut her off. “If you want me to finish this…”
Before Alex could even complete his sentence, Abi acted like she zipped her lips then threw away the key.
Seeing that the man’s expression changed back to normal, Abi secretly sighed in relief. That was good. It seemed that he didn’t suspect a thing.
As Alex continued reading, Abi slowly got better control of her emotions and she stayed still like a well-behaved child. She closed her eyes and her face now looked peaceful as she listened to him, imagining the story clearly in her head, imagining herself and Alex in place of the characters.
The story became even more emotional as it went on. Abi never opened her eyes again as she let herself get lost in the words of the story and Alex’s voice. As Alex continued reading, she imagined the scenes in her mind and Abi felt her heart start to clench from the pain.? She felt what Hina was feeling at that moment and it was bittersweet.
“”After we said our vows, we were pronounced as husband and wife. I kissed Hina softly in front of all our friends and family who bore witness to the moment I promised to give her my love and everything I have, in sickness and in health, and I’d never felt so good about anything…”” Alex trailed off.
For the third time, he took a pause. He glanced at the girl on his lap and when he saw how peaceful her face was with her eyes closed, Alex didn’t know why but he placed his hand between Abi’s neck and chest.
Abi felt his hand and she too lifted hers and placed it on top of his without opening her eyes.
It was then that Alex realized what he had done. He was surprised but he immediately returned his gaze towards the book and began reading. For some reason, he kind of wanted to know what would come next, which was again something surprising for him. He never cared about things like this before. It didn’t even catch a tiny bit of his attention. And yet, here he was…
Before he knew it, he actually truly wanted to read until the end to see what kind of words were waiting on the last page.
“”Our first dance as man and wife was certainly a memorable one, but not for the reason I would have liked. At that time, my illness was triggered and I nearly collapsed on the ground. I was glad that my best man caught me in time. I saw the worry in my bride’s eyes and in that moment, my heart felt like it had been stabbed a thousand times… The thought that I would be leaving her alone in this world surfaced again.””
Once again, Alex paused for a moment after that paragraph because he felt Abi’s grip on his, tighten. He glanced at her face but the girl’s eyes were still closed, giving him no clues to what she was thinking.
He could see that she was acting a little strange, but knowing how innocent and pure this little lamb of his was, he thought that she might be feeling quite emotional and might even be feeling the pain of the characters. He knew that this little lamb of his was just that type of person.
“”When I look back on that day, I don’t think about our first dance. The first thing that comes to mind is the picture of my bride, dressed in her beautiful wedding dress with that beautiful smile on her face…””
At that moment, Alex looked like something finally dawned on him and his gaze suddenly snapped to Abi’s face. There was a strange intensity in his eyes as he uttered the rest of the paragraph without averting his gaze away from her. “”That day was the most wonderful moment of my life.”
Finally, he read the very last sentence. “”Every time I look at her face now, I am reminded of that beautiful line I read from her favourite book saying -“”
But before Alex could state the rest of the sentence, he paused because he suddenly felt Abi’s hand on his cheek. Her eyes were already open and she was smiling as she caressed his cheek, her eyes glimmering with the tears that were threatening to fall.
