Filed to story: Falling for My Ex's Mafia Dad Novel Free PDF (Fay Alden & Kent Lippert)
Stop, an inner voice says inside of him. It’s not how this should be
But he silences it, pushing himself forward. He moves his hand from Fay’s hip back to her inner thigh, this time moving more swiftly, running his fingers across the soaked crotch of her panties. Kent grits his teeth and presses his eyes shut against the almost unbearable sound of the moan she makes, his own body starting to tremble now against the restraint he’s practicing.
Kent repeats the movement, dragging his finger across her, and then unable to stop himself he slips that finger behind the fabric of her panties and traces the slick, agonizingly soft folds of her. She gasps, giving a little cry of pleasure and shock and fear, and slowly, his eyes closed, his breath coming short, Kent begins to press two fingers inside of her.
“Stop,” she breathes, and Kent freezes, his eyes flying open.
As her word brings him back to himself, Kent is overwhelmed, quite suddenly, with guilt. He pulls his hand away from her and steps away, instantly obeying her command.
“Please,” she says, her voice tormentingly soft and delicate as she stands up straighter, looking over her shoulder at him with tears
His heart and stomach wrench as he sees the tears in her eyes.
“Please,” she says again, shaking her head, so vulnerable before him. “I’m…I’m a virgin, Kent,” she reminds him. “I can’t…like this…”
And then her lip begins to tremble and it’s a knife in his gut. God, he could just hurl himself from a window right now maybe should, for what he pushed this girl to this perfect angel of a girl
But Kent doesn’t let Fay see any of this. Instead, he just nods once and moves instantly forward, reaching up to release her wrist from the leather cuff. As he does, the weight of her other arm pulls the cuff through the ring so that she’s free of the restraint. Kent steps away from Fay and watches her shakily unbuckle the clasp on her other wrist.
When she’s free, she lets the cuffs and their attaching chain fall to the ground. Then she looks up at him with her beautiful doe eyes, her hair spilling around her like silk, her knees knocked together in awkward shame.
“I’m I’m sorry ” she starts.
“No,” he interrupts, his voice loud and harsh, making her jump. Inwardly, he cringes at this as well. God, what the fuck was wrong with him? He presses his eyes shut tightly for just a moment, working hard to control himself, and then looks at her evenly.
“You’ve done nothing wrong, Fay,” he says. “Just go to your room.”
She hesitates, but he glares at her, hard.
So she just gives a little nod and strides quickly away, passing through the door and shutting it behind her in an blink.
The moment she’s gone, Kent lets himself sink to the floor, a sudden, familiar ache building in his chest, his body going weak as the pain transforms him.
He knows what it is, this old friend of a feeling. Guilt, pain, horror, anxiety they all mix together, the perfect cocktail to kindle the panic attack that grips his body now.
And he holds on to the pain, letting it race through him, hoping, a little, that it takes him out completely for what he just did to that girl. What he forced her to, all for the sake of his pride.
He knows he deserves every bit of this, and so he welcomes the pain, submitting to it entirely.
I dash from the room, pounding down the stairs that lead to the second floor, my mind set on nothing but the safety of my room, my bed, my closed door
But as I turn onto the second-floor landing, I slams into someone coming up the steps from the house’s first level.
“Whoa! ” the person says, gasping in surprise and perhaps a little pain. “What ”
Frantic, I work to push beyond them, feeling and seeing nothing beyond the tears in my eyes that stream down my cheeks. I’m a bit feral now, like a rabbit doing anything it can to get back to my warren I’ve just got to get inside, where I can be alone
“Fay,” the voice says, worried and stern. He grasps me by my shoulders and I gasp, looking up, shocked to see Kent’s face
But no, a face like Kent’s, but softer, younger Daniel.
“Fay, are you alright?” he whispers, urgent. “What’s why are you wearing that?”
I look up at Daniel, my mouth hanging open, not knowing what to say. My eyes flick to the door to my bedroom there’s no part of me that wants to have this conversation now. I just I can’t.
“I have to go,” I mumble, pushing past him. I hear him call after me but I ignore it. There’s a little guilt in me at this I know that I haven’t been fair to Daniel in all of this but the guilt isn’t strong enough to fight my panic, my fear, my desire to just be alone.
I look once over my shoulder at Daniel as I push open my door, see him looking towards the stairs up to the third floor, putting things together. Does he even know what his dad has up there?
Before I can see what Daniel does next, though, I press my door shut, leaning against it and closing my eyes, panting a little. The dark of my room washes over me like cool water and I feel my shaking body start to ease, my pounding heart lighten.
I stand there for a long time, my forehead pressed against the door, my breath huffing hot against the white paint, my mind absolutely reeling. But as the minutes pass, and as I lean into the safety of my room, I’m able to start to put words to my emotions.
God damn it. God damn it. What the hell just happened?
I push myself up and away from the door, starting to put the pieces together. Flashes of it come back to me as I move to my bed, unlacing the corset and letting it drop to the floor. Kent standing in the doorway, looking at me like a wolf at his supper. Kent wrapping a leather cuff around my wrist. Kent pressing his hand between my shoulder blades and pulling my hips back against him
Kent moving his hand, his fingers, down the slick center of me
I push my panties to the floor now, stepping out of them and standing naked in my room, my own hand drifting downward towards the place where Kent touched me only a few minutes ago
Minutes, really? Was it that short?
Nobody had ever touched me like that. And as much as it terrified me, and as much as I wasn’t ready for it to happen like that chained to the wall, his to command
There was certainly a part of me that…liked it? Maybe. I sigh, confused.
Even as I push myself to figure out how I feel, the strain and confusion of the situation washes over me. I sigh, heading for my wardrobe, wanting the comforting feel of cotton pajamas against my skin not all of this silk and boning and laced-up restraint.
As I pull on a t-shirt and a pair of pajama shorts, I consider that at the heart of it, of the whole evening, the central fact was that it was terrifying for me.
And perhaps it’s just me being a baby being so naïve, and romantic, and sheltered. But as much as it sometimes gives me pleasure and a thrill to defy Kent, and to push him, and to drive him beyond his point of control I am not sure I want to have sex like that.
At least not the first time. Because there was something about the feeling of giving up control to him that, at some moments, felt…good?
But it went too far. I don’t want to have sex that scares me, that makes me cry. I just want…well, I suppose I want to be held. And comforted. Because losing your virginity is scary enough I’m not sure chains need to be added to the equation.
I’m staring passively into the wardrobe, lost in my thoughts, when my eyes fall on it. I pull Ivan’s jacket from its place balled up in the back corner, where I’d tucked it maybe an hour ago. God, an hour, is that how it really took for my world to turn upside down like that?
I pull the jacket on, wanting its comfort and the memories of the parts of tonight that were so good. I tuck my nose against the jacket’s collar and take a deep sniff of Ivan’s warm and spicy scent. It’s strange, that two men who are so similar on paper can make me feel so completely different on the same night.
And considering my two “dates” this evening, I definitely know which one I preferred.
I climb groaning into bed, pulling my covers up over me, still shaken from my experiences but starting to feel better. Just before I drift off to sleep, I grab my phone
Not the Kent phone, the burner. The one Janeen gave me.
And I type in Ivan’s number, and send him a quick text to say goodnight.
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