Filed to story: Sorry Alpha I Am Wolfless Novel
And, well, when I went through the door to the self reflection area, I had been looking for any way to get out of where I was to begin with. I was stuck because I had nowhere to go and nothing to do. I needed a way out of there and they gave me one. They led me here so that I could continue my journey. That was sort of helpful too.
OK. OK. I get it. They weren’t here to sabotage me. But what was it that they did want? I mean, why were they here?
As I asked myself those questions, I looked closely at them again. They really did look like Joaquin. That was so insane. Why was I projecting his image onto these little imps? I know that I miss him and all, but I wouldn’t think that I would be projecting him like that. I mean, that was pretty much the same thing as hallucinating. Was I seeing things that weren’t really there?
Could there be something more to this? Could these imps be something more? I don’t know if that was the case or not, but I did know that I needed to keep moving and not stay still. I needed to be like a shark. I can’t stop moving for anything.
I almost stopped though. When I saw those little imps looking at me with huge smiles on their little child-like faces. It was almost too much for me. I didn’t want to think of them as children and I didn’t want to think that they looked like my children, but I couldn’t stop it. That was all that went through my mind right then.
Those grins weren’t evil and they weren’t trying to hide anything behind them. All those smiles made me think was the way that Talia looked when I came home after a long day of working. Or the way that Reagan and Rika used to run to me smiling after their first few days at preschool. Those smiles looked like the smiles of children that saw their mother.
But these imps weren’t my children. So, why were they looking at me like that? I tried to figure out the answers to those questions as I slowly approached the door in front of me. The imp on the right came running forward then and took my hand. He was looking up at me just like the way Reagan, Rika and Talia would do when I held their hands. This was so strange, so bizarre.
“Why are you here?” I asked them, I was unable to stop myself from doing it. They didn’t answer me though. All they did was smile and point at me, specifically my waist. That made no sense to me at all. “Where did you come from?” I tried again. Once again they just pointed at me and didn’t speak. “Where do you belong?” One of the imps put his hand on my belly but still didn’t say anything. “No, you don’t belong in there. I have my three kids at home, and I lost one baby before. Still, I would remember if I ever had three babies at once. That would kind of stick out in my memory.”
I laughed and tried to shake off what the imp was doing, but he didn’t stop. He just kept his hand on my belly while smiling at me. After a moment he even started to pat my belly like he was offering comfort or something.
Well, that was odd.
It didn’t matter though. We had gotten to the door that was waiting here for me. The door was once again just standing there with nothing supporting it at all. There it was, in color, as were the imps, but everything else around me, including myself, were still in black and white.
I timidly reached out with my left hand, letting go of one of the imp’s hands in the process. The knob of the door was solid and warm like it had been held by someone else recently. Or like maybe whatever was on the other side of this door was really, really warm.
That was a comforting thought. Was this door going to lead me into the true ‘hell’ part of this underworld? Was this the fire and brimstone section? That wasn’t a very comforting thought. What exactly was going to happen to me when I opened that door?
“Is this safe?” I looked at the imps, one after another. I was trying to see if they were confident about this door or not. They were all still smiling, and they all nodded at me to tell me that it was safe. I guess that I had no choice, there was literally no other option for me right now.
I took a deep breath while I steadied my hand that was on the door knob.
I was procrastinating. I was stalling. I was doing anything that I could to not turn the knob. That included looking all around me as I was waiting with my hand on the door.
‘Come on, Riviana, stop hesitating.’ The other me called out from the back of my mind. ‘You can do this. There is no reason for you to act like a baby at this point.’
“Oh, shut up you.” I snapped at her and saw the three little imp boys recoil just a little. “Not you three. I am talking about the voice inside my head.” They tilted their heads in confusion like they didn’t know what was going on, but they were worried about me. Or they were just worried about my sanity. Yeah, the latter was probably the case.
‘They cannot hear me, and they never saw me. They do not know anything about me. I am only here for you, Riviana.’
“Isn’t that just wonderful?” I sighed as I shook my head. “I know you’re right, though. And not about them not knowing about you. I am referring to the fact that I need to stop being a baby. I need to just open this and go.”
No more deep breaths, no more stalling. I just bit the bullet, figuratively speaking that is.. I opened the door and saw a bright white light that blocked out everything else on the other side of the door.
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Riviana
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I immediately put my hand up to block out the light that was blinding me. I couldn’t see anything anymore, and it was all that light’s fault. All I could do was alternate between squinting and closing my eyes to let them adjust. I was also trying to blink out the tears that had formed in them.
“What the hell?” I couldn’t move forward at all because I couldn’t see anything. This blinding light was worse than the full darkness that I had been in before. This was causing me physical pain just trying to look into it. Darkness didn’t hurt the eyes like this.
As I sat there, trying to figure out what to do, I felt myself being pushed and pulled. Two of the little imp boys were pulling my hands while the third one was pushing me at the small of my back. They were trying to force me through the door.
“What are you doing? I can’t see in there. This place isn’t safe for me. Let me go.”
They weren’t listening to me, though. Of course not. They were imps and that meant that they were trying to play tricks on me. And even if they were children, well a lot of them don’t listen when they’re young either.
“Please, stop pulling me. I don’t want to go in there right now.” I tried to stop them, but they had already pulled me over the threshold. The moment that my feet went over it the same thing as last time happened. It was like I was being pulled into some type of vortex. I was spiraling and falling uncontrollably.
Well, it felt uncontrollable, to me at least. However, I wasn’t alone. For some reason, all three of those little imps were still with me. The two that had grabbed my hands were still holding them and the other one that had been pushing me had grabbed a hold of my waist. All four of us were spinning and falling into that bright white light.
I still couldn’t see anything, but I didn’t think that mattered very much. I mean, when I splattered and died, I didn’t think it would help me at all when I saw the end coming. It would be so much easier on me if it all just ended abruptly.
Only, I wasn’t about to die, and I knew that. I was just being melodramatic. I was already slowing down, and I could tell that the light on the other side of my eyelids had lessened at least a little bit. I was coming close to landing in a new place once again.
How many times was this going to happen to me? How many more doors did I have to find until I found out where I was going and took care of what I needed to. How long was it going to be before I got to go home?
When I landed, it wasn’t as soft as I thought that it would be. I landed in a slightly painful heap with the three little imp boys tangled with me. I don’t know about them, but that fall hurt my ass.
When I looked at the little imps, I felt my heart break just a little bit. All three of them looked like they were about to cry. They looked like they were in pain and wanted to cry so that their mommy would kiss their booboo and make it all better.
Why was it that the more that I was with them, the more I was seeing these three little imps as little boys instead of trickster devils?
“Are you OK?” I asked them. The two that were holding my hands nodded and forced their faces into something that looked like they were being big boys that didn’t want to cry. The third one, the one that had been behind me and who had been under me when I landed, shook his head no. He had tears streaming down his cheeks and was rubbing the side of his head.
