Filed to story: Sorry Alpha I Am Wolfless Novel
“What are you saying?” My head snapped up and I suddenly felt as if cold water had been poured down my back. That was how cold my blood was running at the moment. I was even shivering which was not something that I did often.
“You will see, Riviana. You just need to watch.
I watched then as the other me pulled a handful of that black dust from the bag and threw it into the fire once again. It was the same scenario playing out again. The color of the flames changed and then it burned higher and more intensely. After it settled back down, the now familiar looking screen appeared in the flames.
“Sit back, Riviana, and watch this memory unfold.”
The other me didn’t need to tell me to do that. I was already prepared to see what she had to show me. After so many of these already, I was already used to it. I knew that there was no point in trying to fight it, so I just needed to sit and watch.
I watched a series of kidnapping. All the children that had been taken from my pack and in Colorado Springs around the time that Joaquin and I were planning our wedding. I remember that time and the heartache that it caused for me. And more than anything else, I remembered the heartache that it had caused for those around me.
Ella and Gina were the ones near me that had been the most affected by the kidnappings. Gina had been so depressed and out of it that she was unable to work properly. Ella had taken over the shop for the most part even though she was suffering as well.
Still, watching the terror fill the eyes of all those children when they were taken was worse than I had felt at that time. Seeing how scared and hopeless they felt at that time broke everything inside of me.
“Do you see what your actions have caused for these children? Do you think that they were able to heal and forget about this?”
“YES!” I nearly leapt to my feet as I screamed that answer out to her. “Yes, I do know for a fact that they were able to heal and recover from that ordeal. Juniper, my good friend who has been granted a special ability, was able to heal their minds. She made them forget about it all, she got rid of the trauma for them. The children are just fine now.”
“Alright, but what about their family members? Have any of them healed? Have any of them been able to forget about what happened? What have you done for them? Did you know about any of this?”
The other me pointed at the screen again and the kidnapping stopped playing over and over again. Now, instead of the children, I saw the family members of the kids that had been taken. I saw the way they were hurting while their children and siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, and grandchild were missing.
“There are some things that you never knew about, Riviana. Things that happened during and after that time which shaped and destroyed the futures of others. This here is another thing that you bear the responsibility of because you didn’t prevent it from happening.”
“It can’t be my fault, though. Doesn’t the actual perpetrator bear any of the responsibility in this?” I felt like I was drowning as I spoke. I didn’t take my eyes off of the screen and that meant that I was still watching as the horrors on the screen truly started.
It had been sad before this part, but not as bad as now. There had been people who lost their jobs, divorces, and depression that the stress of the whole situation had caused. But then, the images started to turn darker.
“Twenty-four children had been taken. Two dozen children with four dozen parents between them, that is if their parents were still alive at the time. Now though, there have been several of them that lost a parent because of this tragedy. You healed the children, yes, but not the parents. You did not help the parents and the fear that they had that their child would go missing again. And what about the siblings? They were worried about their lost family member but some of them were also jealous of the attention that the other sibling was getting. There has been much strife and heartache that you were not able to stop.”
I listened on with a broken heart as I watched a woman write out a letter to her family telling them that she couldn’t take it anymore. She was sobbing while she wrote it and the paper ended up covered in drips and drops that caused the ink to smear and run.
After that, she did what I thought was unthinkable. She took a gun from a safe in her home, loaded just one bullet into the chamber, put it against her head, and pulled the trigger. She had been unable to heal and that had been partially my fault. I hadn’t thought about the families when I sent Juniper to heal the children. I hadn’t thought that they needed my help. I was wrong. So wrong.
“As you are clearly able to see, Riviana, this was not a single incident. There were two others.” The other me didn’t need to narrate that part for me. I was able to see it clearly as another woman and a man did something similar. The methods were different, but the results were the same. They weren’t able to cope with the guilt, the heartache, and the fear.
“Enough. I can’t watch anymore of this.”
At those words, the images froze, and I just sat there with my head in my hands. I couldn’t take it. I didn’t want to have this on my conscience. I didn’t want to know that I was involved in this tragedy in any way, directly or indirectly, intentionally or inadvertently. It was too much for me right now.
“This is not all that I need to show you, Riviana. There is more. Please, prepare yourself for the next memory.”
“No, please, no more.” I begged the other me, but she didn’t seemed moved by my pleas at all. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t take it.
“You need to see this, Riviana.. You need to see what your actions have done so you do not make the same mistakes in the future.”
***DURING THIS REFLECTION CHAPTER, SOME OF PREVIOUS CHAPTERS ARE BROUGHT UP, THIS IS MORE OF A FLASHBACK CHAPTER DURING RIVIANA’S REFLECTION***
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Riviana
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Why? Why did I need to sit through this torture? Why did this have to happen to me? What is the whole purpose of all of this? I wish that someone would be able to tell me without it being something so cryptic.
What was I supposed to be learning from all of this? Was I supposed to learn that I am a horrible person and that I shouldn’t be the queen? Was I supposed to go crazy and end up unfit to lead anyone at all? And what would Joaquin and the kids think about me if they knew all of this about me? If they knew that I let so many lives be destroyed.
“Are you ready?” The other me asked but she didn’t seem to be waiting for me to respond at all. Instead, she was already throwing the dust and the fire was responding immediately.
Within seconds I was looking at another screen and another scene. This time it was showing me the abbey in France that the Sentinelle used as their headquarters. At first, I couldn’t recall why the other me would be showing me this place at all. However, the scene soon closed in on a certain event that happened during our time there.
A group of men that I had never met before that day had come spilling into the room I was studying.
“My Queen, please excuse this interruption.” They all knelt down before me as soon as they were in the room.
“What is it, Perkins? What has happened?” Gabriel, who had been with me, asked the man in the lead.
“The King has found unworthy men among our ranks. And I am afraid things are about to escalate among them?” Perkins responded.
“Escalate?” I made the word a question.
“Yes, your grace. It seems that those found to be disloyal are not taking this revelation lightly. They have gotten quite upset.”
