Filed To Story: Chasing the Rejected Luna's Heart (Clara & Liam) Book PDF Free
Now I was nervous about meeting my wolf for an entirely different reason. There was no way I was going to stack up to the three of them. Hell, I would be relieved if I shifted into anything other than a Pomeranian.
In addition to feeling unprepared and unworthy, I was also overcome by very real concern about the fact that in a matter of moments, the three of them were going to be hunting me. No matter how much of a head start I was given, I doubted it would be enough. If I had my way, I would probably just roll over and play dead to have it over with sooner. The only thing that kept me from actually wanting to do that was pride. It was bad enough Jax acted like I was some burden that had been afflicted on him. I wasn’t just going to go falling into his arms and make it easy for him. It was probably the one time he was actually going to chase me in any capacity, and I intended to make the most of it, even if it was only for show.”There’s no need to be nervous, dear,” the priestess said in a knowing tone. I wasn’t going to bother to deny it, since the fear pheromones were probably obvious enough. That was the most annoying thing about being raised by and around other shifters. Lying was really a lost cause. It always had been with my mother, at least.”I’m just not really sure how to make it happen,” I admitted.
The priestess stared at me for a second like she didn’t understand what I was saying before she gave a laugh. “There is nothing to make happen,” she said, smiling. “It’s not a test you’re being graded on, it’s just something that happens from the soul. And when you’re ready, it will happen for you, no effort required.”
I nodded, as doubtful as I was. She seemed so certain, though, it almost made me feel silly to have any doubt. She was right, of course. I was a shifter. Shifting was kind of what we did, like it or not. There was nothing abnormal about me, save for the potential anomaly of my wolf not talking to me, which might have been perfectly normal for all I knew.”Right. And the moon should activate it, right?” I asked hopefully.”Now that the mark has begun, yes,” she answered. “A female’s wolf is awakened by the blood of her mates.”
I nodded, since I could tell Dad was getting irritated by all my questions. Maybe he just didn’t want the priestess knowing he had failed to properly educate his daughter, but he wasn’t exactly a talkative kind of guy. With Mom gone, I had been left to put together the pieces between my censored classes and my own best guesses.”Shall we begin?” the priestess asked, looking between us.
She and Dad both stared at me expectantly, and it took me a second to realize what they were getting at. “Right,” I mumbled, feeling my face grow red hot once more as I started to remove my clothes. Having to undress in front of my father was bad enough, let alone with the entire pack watching. I was starting to think whoever had come up with this ritual had some seriously sketchy kinks. Why couldn’t I be a fox shifter or something? I doubted they had to deal with this bullshit.
I tried not to look at anyone until I was undressed and had no choice but to glance the priestess’ way for guidance. I was also trying not to think about the fact that the guys I had grown up with were now seeing me as naked as the day I was born.
Like I wasn’t self-conscious enough about my body. As the moonlight beat down on my skin and I could see the shifted forms of my three mates approaching from the East, I felt like I was careening headlong into a panic attack. All of it, the awkwardness, the vulnerability, the fear of the unknown and the known, was congealing into a formless smoke pouring into my lungs and making a real breath impossible.
Clothed only in moonlight, I closed my eyes and willed my wolf to the surface, for once more desperate for her appearance than opposed to it. I wasn’t sure exactly how fast this was supposed to happen, but when I looked up and saw my father and the priestess both watching me in differing states of confusion, I realized it really was supposed to be more of an instant thing.”Go on, dear,” the priestess urged, as if I hadn’t already been trying. Not a great sign.
I nodded and tried to focus on the sensation of my bare feet in the earth. The grass between my toes, the solid ground below, the wind on my bare skin. This crucial, vital moment that was more important than any other in my life. Even the first part of the ceremony.
The more I thought about it, the shallower my breathing became.
Before I could venture to ask for help, Dad said through his teeth, “That’s enough playing around. Just shift already.”
I looked up at him in a combination of dismay and irritation. I didn’t do as good of a job of hiding the latter as usual, and hissed, “You don’t think I’m trying?”
He narrowed his eyes dangerously, but the priestess interrupted, “You’re overthinking it. Just stop resisting and your wolf will do the rest.””I’m not resisting,” I protested. What, did these people think I just had my shoulder against the door or something? As apprehensive as I was about shifting, it was far less disturbing than being stuck standing around in the nude while the entire pack looked on expectantly.
She looked to Dad, which probably wasn’t a good sign. They both thought I was tanking this on purpose, which couldn’t have been further from the truth. I would’ve done anything to get out of there, especially now. Hell, I was so wired I thought I stood a pretty good chance of actually outrunning the guys on two legs. Maybe I’d keep on going past the territory limits if things kept up at this rate.
I shook my head and my hair fell over my shoulders, covering my chest at least partially but leaving me no less exposed. “I can’t. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I can’t.”
Now the gathered crowd was murmuring, and I could tell from the scandalous intonations of their whispers this was not something that had ever happened before. Even the old-timers seemed at a loss, and I knew they had seen more than a few such ceremonies in their lifetimes.
Yeah, definitely not a good sign.
I jolted when I realized someone was coming up on my right and relaxed only slightly when I saw it was Liam in his human form. The concern on his face put me on edge, even though he was usually reassuring, and I was too freaked out to even think about the fact that he was naked. Mostly. In the back of my mind, there was the passing, inevitable acknowledgment of the fact that his body was as perfect as the rest of him. Of course it was.”Is everything alright?” he asked, looking me over. I wasn’t sure what to make of the desire that flashed in his gaze, even though it seemed more involuntary than anything and he quickly suppressed it. When he first started to mature, he’d always been one of the only guys who didn’t make me feel like a piece of meat. Somehow, that made it all the more flattering when he did show a hint of desire, but tonight, I had other concerns. Namely the fact that all these people seemed to think I was intentionally bungling my first shift for attention.
Before I could answer him, Dad said, “Lavinia is refusing to shift.””I’m not refusing!” I cried. “I just can’t.””Of course you can,” Dad said gruffly. “You’re a damn wolf, that’s what we do.”
I caught the subtle yet undeniable shift in the scent of Liam’s pheromones. Anger. He hid it well, but it showed in his eyes, usually so soft but now sharp as they looked at my father. At least someone was on my side.”I’m sure there’s been a misunderstanding. It’s a lot of pressure, and the entire pack is gathered,” Liam said pointedly, making me think there was a backstory to this conversation I was missing.”Of course it is,” Dad growled. “It’s tradition.”