Filed to story: Chasing the Rejected Luna's Heart (Clara & Liam) Book PDF Free
My four least favorite words in the English language. On the surface, I had done a pretty decent job of approximating one. I dressed the part, and I had gotten in trouble for misbehaving enough times that I followed the rules, if only by habit.
There was something different about this new form of longing the mark had inspired. The guys remained as physically distant as usual, even though I saw Liam around the house here and there. He stopped to talk with me for a few minutes whenever he could, as usual, but he hadn’t brought up the mark or anything, so I couldn’t imagine he was even close to being as apprehensive about it as I was. Being around him had been the first indicator that I wasn’t just imagining these changes. I always enjoyed his company. He was kind and funny, and even though our conversations were limited by what was considered appropriate to transpire between an unmated male and female shifter, he was easy to talk to. The last time, though, when we had parted ways, it took all I had not to cling to him like some pathetic child. I didn’t want him to leave. I was almost afraid of it. It made no sense, but nothing about my emotions regarding my mates really did.
I had set it aside and done my best just to get through it, but the longing grew fiercest at night. I had to wonder if they felt even a fraction of it, but I was much too afraid to ask. Soon enough, hopefully, the matter would be resolved.
As unnerving as the first ceremony had been, the next one was a hell of a lot more intense. While our pack had left behind many of the more brutal traditions of the past, we still held onto a few of them. Most notably, the practice of male shifters hunting their mate. The Redstone Pack took the whole pursuit-in-courtship thing to another level, and the night of the full moon, the guys would be expected to literally hunt me as I ran through the woods in my shifted form. Shifting itself was enough reason to be nervous, considering all the horror stories I had heard about how much it hurt the first time. Males were able to shift into their wolf forms from early adolescence, some their whole lives. Unsurprisingly, Jax was one of them.
I had to admit, I was curious what my wolf would be like. Most of the other girls claimed they had been visited by the spirit of their wolf in dreams for years. Mated females claimed that connection amplified leading up to their actual mating ceremonies, but I could never tell if everyone was just saying that to fit in. And I had said the same, so I couldn’t talk, but the truth was…I had never seen my wolf. Not in a dream, not in a vision, not at all. When she finally did awaken, it would be like meeting a complete stranger. Like running from my intended mates through the woods wasn’t weird enough.
It was tradition, though, and as I well knew, tradition could not be escaped or even delayed. It was best just to follow it, since those who refused tended to meet the same fate as those who tried to swim against the tide.
When the night of the full moon finally came, and I followed the entire pack out onto the hillside, where they would watch me shift for the first time, I felt once more the strange electricity that had overcome me during the first ceremony. It was a kind of reverence not all that far from hysteria, or what I imagined it was like, at least.
This was it. I thought I would be a bundle of nerves, and I kind of was, but there was also a good deal of relief. Relief over the fact that I was finally about to put an end to the strange sense of unrequited attachment to the guys that had plagued me since that night. Maybe longer, if I was being honest with myself. In truth, it was more like it had awakened something that had been mostly dormant within me.
My father was waiting for me at the top of the hillside, although I didn’t see any sign of the guys, which was strange. I had thought they would be front and center, considering their central role in all this.
It was strange enough to have the entire pack watching. Normal shifters didn’t have an audience the first time. Aside from the friends or relatives they had chosen to help guide them through the arduous process, anyway. Certainly not the entire pack. At least the shifters from other packs who had been at the first ceremony were seemingly absent. The main festivities were over, and now it was time to seal the deal.
Dad was wearing a three-piece suit, as usual. I hadn’t actually seen him in casual clothes in… Well, not since I could remember.
He looked me over and frowned, which was par for the course. I could tell he didn’t approve of my outfit, even if there was no particular dress code set for tonight, since I would be shedding my clothes soon anyway. As awkward as that would be, for the moment, I was comfortable in jeans and what I had thought was a nice enough blue shirt.”Couldn’t you have worn something more appropriate for the occasion?” he asked in a tone dripping with disapproval.
I chewed the inside of my cheek, because answering right away was always a mistake. I had to give myself time to burn through the first, second, and third smartass responses until I reached something that wouldn’t get me locked in my room for a week. Although technically, that authority now belonged to the guys, or soon would.”It’s not like I’ll be wearing them for long anyway,” I reminded him. His scowl made it clear that was not an acceptable response, but before he could say anything, the priestess emerged, wearing her usual ceremonial robes.”There you are,” she said warmly, her hands clasped in front of her. “Are you ready to meet your wolf, Lavinia?””Ready as I’m ever going to be, I think,” I said with a nervous smile. Dad’s frown made it clear that wasn’t the right answer, either, but he was less inclined to scold me in front of the priestess. Even if he was the pack’s alpha male, there was a certain authority that came with her role in the Church. Technically speaking, the alpha was meant to act as a representative of the moon god, while she represented the goddess. Unlike shifters, the celestial couple had a far more egalitarian relationship.
The priestess nodded, clearly not offended by my answer, or if she was, willing to humor me. “All will be well. You’ll look back fondly on this day,” she said with a nostalgic sigh that made it clear she did.
I smiled and nodded, but somehow, I doubted it. My wolf clearly just wasn’t that into me, or she would’ve made an appearance in my dreams before now. Probably. Again, it was hard to tell if the experiences the others bragged about were just an example of everyone wanting to fit in and no one wanting to be the one who admitted they weren’t actually getting special dreams from their future self.”Where are the guys?” I asked, looking around.
The priestess nodded toward the hillside, and I could see the three of them walking toward us, but they weren’t in their human forms. My breath caught in my throat as I took in the sight of them. They were by far three of the largest wolves in the pack, and the only one who could hold a candle to any of them was Dad. They were all so different, each imposing in his own way.
Liam had stark white fur, while Damon’s fur was a dark, almost black-gray hue. Jax had light gray, silvery fur that looked like moonlight in the glow of twilight around us. I could already see the moon rising in the sky, pregnant with whatever magic was going to allow me to turn into a beast for the first time.
I couldn’t believe it, but I was actually starting to be…excited? It was hard to tell the difference between the finer shades of excitement and terror, considering how fast my heart was pumping adrenaline through my veins.
Judging from the way the entire area went dead silent, I wasn’t the only one who was taken by the beauty of the three approaching wolves. If anyone had reason to doubt they were the chosen alphas, I was sure that doubt would’ve vanished with one look at them in those forms. They were beautiful, yes, but they were also absolutely terrifying. I hadn’t actually seen their wolf forms in ages, and they hadn’t been nearly as huge back then. They were no longer pups, that was for sure.
It wasn’t just the fact that they were a good deal larger than any of the other males, or even the intensity in their gleaming golden eyes. It was something in the way the air changed as they approached, crackling with the same electricity that had overwhelmed me that night. As solid as my agnostic tendencies usually were, it was impossible not to believe there was some higher power that had chosen these men to act as its authority on Earth.
And yet, it was different from the sense of fear my father instilled, not only within me but within his other subjects as well. I didn’t know what it was, exactly, only that it left me wanting for breath and in a state of disbelief that the three of them actually belonged to me. Or rather, they would after tonight.
