Filed to story: Sorry Alpha I Am Wolfless Novel
My alarm went off right when I had it set for. I did feel a lot better than I did before I laid down. I guess Joaquin was right to make me take a nap. If I get too tired then I am no good to anyone: not myself, not Joaquin, not our babies.
I guess Joaquin was just telling me that I needed to take care of myself as well as Reagan and Rika. With that thought in mind I went into the bathroom and took care of a couple other necessities before I went across the hall to the nursery where Joaquin was waiting with Reagan and Rika.
There was an extra bounce in my step now as I walked, the extra energy the nap had given me was making me feel giddy. I still couldn’t wait to see my babies though. They were going to be the light of my days from now on.
I heard something that made me pause right before I got to the door for the nursery.
“Ahh! Come on, don’t do that.” Joaquin was sounding so panicked for some reason and one of the babies was crying. Fearing what might be happening I grabbed the handle to the door and rushed inside.
The first thing that I saw was Joaquin standing next to the changing table. Reagan was laying on the table being changed and he was crying loudly. Reagan’s legs were pulled into him and his arms were pulled against his chest. He was not happy about something.
While I was rushing over, getting closer to see what the problem was I saw an arc of yellow go straight from Reagan to Joaquin’s face. My husband didn’t manage to avoid it in time and he got sprayed for a second before he ducked and put a cloth over Reagan’s little shooter.
I couldn’t help it, I had to laugh. It was hilarious, Joaquin had just gotten a face full of baby pee.
“I’m glad you think it’s funny.” Joaquin grumbled. “Reagan really doesn’t want to let me change him right now.”
I went to my mate’s side still laughing and assisted him in changing our son.
“Go get cleaned up.” I told him as I put the diaper on the baby. “I need to feed him anyway.”
“Yeah, I need a shower.” He grumbled as he left the room.
Ten minutes later Joaquin was back, freshly showered with clean clothes. I still had Rika in my arms as she suckled gently for her food.
“Sooo, what happened?” I tried not to laugh at him again and nearly failed.
“I wanted to get them changed, diapers and clothes, before you got back from your nap. I’m just not that good at dressing them or changing their diapers yet. If you or the nurses are there it seems like I am better at it, but the minute I was alone I just couldn’t do it.”
I watched as he hung his head in defeat. He may not be overly happy but he wasn’t letting it get to him, he went and picked Reagan up and held him as he sat in the rocking chair next to me.
“How are you so good at this and I’m not? We’re both new parents, shouldn’t we be on equal footing here?”
“You would think that, yeah. But the thing is that I have been around other babies before. I am still learning and most of it is still new, but I have had some practice.”
“This isn’t fair.” He cradled Reagan and started to rock back and forth. Reagan however, didn’t seem content. He wiggled his face against Joaquin’s chest and made a few distressed noises. With a little maneuvering and back patting Joaquin was able to get the boy to calm down and drift back to sleep. “This is another thing.” Joaquin spoke in a soft voice. “They like you more than me.” This time he really did sound like he was sad.
“That’s not true.” I was patting Rika on her back now that she was done eating. “They’re just used to the sounds of me. This world and everyone and everything in it is new to them. That’s all it is, Joaquin. Give them time. Now that we’re home we’ll be doing everything ourselves with no nurses around. This will give us all time to adjust. You will see, they love you just as much as they love me.”
At that Reagan started trying to find a place to latch on Joaquin. He had already eaten so I think he just wanted to soothe himself. I got to my feet and found a pacifier that was recommended by Griffin. Reagan latched onto it immediately and calmed down.
“See, they do like you more. They can suckle and soothe themselves with mommy.”
“Yeah, but there’s no safer place in this world than their daddy’s arms.” I cupped his cheek in my hand and looked at him. The four of us were here together. Rika in my arms and Reagan in his.
****
Riviana
****
I had thought that this whole mommy thing was going to be easy. I thought that I would be able to handle everything that came my way after our babies were born. I was wrong.
Joaquin had been partially right. Reagan and Rika definitely preferred me to him, and I was guessing it was because I was the one to breastfeed them. I was the one they got their food and comfort from so they started to associate that with me more than Joaquin. Especially Reagan. He had a thing about women. He liked it when women held him, but cried when most men held him. He could tolerate Dad and Grandfather, or should I say Papa and M贸ra铆, but if Noah, Carter, Riley, Vincent, Shane, or David tried to hold him, he would scream.
We have been home for two weeks now. Two weeks of very little sleep and babies that cried when I put them down or handed them to someone else. The babies didn’t seem to mind Mom or Lila, oops I mean Nona and Lola. Rika was a lot more easygoing than Reagan was, but she still had the people she preferred over the others. She wasn’t as picky I guess, but still sort of difficult.
Both of the babies had already grown a lot as well. They were eating more and more every day, and it seemed like sometimes I did nothing but feed the babies. Between feeding them both, burping them, then changing them, by the time I was done with the whole process it felt like it was next to no time at all until they needed to be fed again.
I was also starting to get worried about Juniper. I hadn’t heard anything about her in a few days, and I knew she was going to be going into labor anytime now. So on top of the new life as a mom, I was stressing over my best friend which wasn’t helping me at all.
Mom came over often to help me with Reagan and Rika, but she also went to visit Carter and Emmalee from time to time since CJ was born just before my babies. She also spent time with Elias, and then she also needed time that was just to her and Dad. She was definitely busy.
I was definitely feeling exhausted now though. And I was listening to what Joaquin said and taking naps while the babies slept. I felt like I was living in an alternate reality where the life I knew and the life I had were not the same at all. I ate my meals at irregular times. and I slept in broken patterns.
Honestly, I was glad that I did have someone here to help me. If I didn’t have someone to help with burping and changing one baby while I started to feed the other then my time with them would take a lot longer. I could just imagine how much of a handful they would be when they got a couple months older.
Mom came into the room when I had just sat down with Reagan, I always fed him first because he was the most impatient of the two of them. I know that I was looking a little weary and Mom could tell.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” She asked me as she sat next to me, no baby in her arms. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I smiled for her and then looked down at the baby in my arms.
“I don’t want to hear that. I know you and I know something is wrong, and it looks like it’s more than just you being tired.”
