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“Too much talking, not enough kissing,” I rasped.
I saw his pupils dilate before he bent down to put his lips on mine. Tremors moved through me, my femininity squeezing and weeping, demanding to be filled.
He hooked his fingers into the sides of my panties and attempted to slide them down my legs. He must have decided it was taking too long because he growled,
“Fuck it,” and ripped them from my body.
“Ace!” I admonished him. “I was hoping to wear those again, you know!”
“Don’t care. I’ll buy you a million new pairs. Especially now that I know how goddamn sexy you look in them.”
He ripped my bra and corset off with the same sense of urgency, leaving us both completely bare and desperate for each other.
Ace leaned back and took a moment to study my nude body before seeming to lose all composure. He basically attacked my neck with his mouth, sucking the bump near my throat fiercely.
I groaned, and so much wetness trickled out of my sex that I was sure he must be feeling it.
“Ace,” I panted, digging my nails into his back. “Condom.”
“Condom?” He was making his way down my body now, kissing and licking my breasts. He took a nipple into his mouth.
Oh, ?~fuck.~
“Y-yeah,” I stammered, still bucking my hips against his. “There are condoms in my purse.” Shit, did I leave that in the car?
“Why the fuck do you have condoms in your purse? Where did you get them?”
I veered back slightly. Why did he sound mad? “My parents gave them to me a while back. I think they thought we were”—I swallowed—“having sex.” I cringed.
“Isn’t that what we’re doing right now?”
Ace sucked in a breath. “Is that what you want?”
I nodded slowly. “That was sort of the plan. Did I not make that clear?”
When Ace finally spoke, his words were slow and careful. “So, you’re telling me, this entire night was leading up to us fucking?”
I hesitated. “Yes?” Did he think I bought the lingerie just to tease him?
Ace laughed. He looked down at my naked body beneath his and then back up at me. Then he laughed again.
“I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t want to—”
Ace slid his hand beneath my head and hauled my face up so it was right in front of his, our noses nearly touching. “Best. Birthday. Ever.”
I giggled as he pressed his mouth back to mine. For a moment, we got lost in the kiss.
“Ace,” I said against his lips. “Condoms.”
He shook his head, tightening his hold on the back of my neck. “No.”
He tried to thrust his tongue into my mouth, but I quickly turned my head so he licked my cheek instead. Ace didn’t seem bothered by this and left a wet, sloppy trail across my chin and neck.
“N-no?” I moaned as he started down my body again.
“No condoms,” he clipped. “If you think there’s going to be a barrier between us when I take you for the first time, then you’re crazy. And so are your parents.”
Wait, what?
“But what if I…?” I trailed off as he gently bit my neck, totally ridding me of my ability to finish my thought.
He finally moved back so he could see me. His eyes were ablaze with lust. “What if you what?”
“Well, um, what if I g-get pregnant? What if you get me pregnant? I’m not on birth control or anything.”
His nostrils flared. “I would love nothing more than to fill you with my babies and watch your belly get round and big, over and over again, until we have a family of our own. A big one.”
Massive alarm bells went off in my head. “I’m sorry?”
“You got a problem with something I said, baby girl?”
I paused, searching his expression, trying to understand what was happening. The irises of his eyes were definitely much darker in this lighting. It was a little scary.
“Uh, yeah, kind of.” My arousal faded a bit. “Don’t you think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself? We’re only eighteen.
“There is absolutely no way I will be having sex with you without any sort of protection. No way am I letting you get me pregnant.”
Ace’s chest heaved. I knew that look. He was trying to keep himself in check before he lost control.
I stared right at him, not willing to back down on this. I could hardly believe we were even having this conversation.
“Ace, you’re kind of freaking me out. You’re not being serious, right?” I tried to make my voice softer. I wanted to understand what was going on inside his head.
The vulnerability and fear in my expression must have penetrated his barrier because his body loosened.
“No,” he grunted. His tone was much more even. His eyes seemed clearer too. “No, you’re right. I’m not being serious. I didn’t mean any of that.”
“Then…then why did you say it?”
“I’m sorry, Doe. Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to confuse or upset you. Something just came over me. I don’t know how to explain it. I—I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
I was having déjà vu. The desperation in his voice reminded me of how he’d behaved the day before when he’d brought me back to his house and begged me to let him take care of me.
He spoke in circles, said things that didn’t make any sense, and acted completely out of character, like insisting he lick the bruise on my back.
The same thing happened when he bit me in his car after I ran from him and fell asleep in the woods. The next morning, he kept apologizing, all while looking disoriented and agonized.
He wasn’t himself then and he definitely wasn’t himself right now.
I framed his face in my hands. “Is everything okay? Is there something you’re not telling me?”
A muscle slid up and down in his throat—the first sign of vulnerability I’d seen from him all night. “I’m…” He paused.
For a moment, I thought he might actually be honest with me.
“I’m all right. Everything is okay.”
I deflated. Of course that was his response.
He bent down to kiss my lips once before placing his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry. Truly. Sometimes my emotions just get the best of me, and I say things I don’t mean.”
Ace had his demons; this wasn’t new information to me. Ever since we were little, he’d have drastic mood changes, saying things to me that were strange and often possessive or even a little barbaric.
He usually regretted it later, often apologizing to me repeatedly, just like he was doing right now. I had just come to accept it as normal behavior for him.
Still, I wished I understood how to help him better. He just wouldn’t talk to me.
And something inside me told me that it wouldn’t always be like this. Deep down, I knew his abrupt switches in personality had something to do with whatever big secret he was keeping from me.