Filed to story: Sorry Alpha I Am Wolfless Novel
“Joaquin?” Griffin broke the silence. “If the pain is too much, I can give you something for it.”
“No, that’s fine. I don’t need it. The pain is already starting to lessen. If it’s bad tomorrow, I might take it, but for now, I am OK.” I refused his offer. As I had said, the pain reminded me that I was alive. That time in that dark place, when I felt nothing, I knew that I was technically dead, and I didn’t want to feel like I was back there again. I would keep the pain, and the knowledge that I was still alive.
****
Joaquin
****
Griffin and Lana checked on me a little more, making sure that I was indeed in perfect health now. Their magical scans were painless. In fact, they didn’t even tickle. You couldn’t feel it at all. At least I couldn’t. Once they were done, they said that I could go back to my room and get cleaned up. They were sure that I was going to want to rest for the night. They would check on me again in the morning.
“Do you need help getting to your room?” Griffin asked as he stepped closer to the bed.
“No. I will help him.” Vincent stepped away from the wall and offered right away. “I will make sure he gets in there with no issues.”
“I am sure that I can walk.” I assured them both. “I am sore, but I am not incapable.”
“You don’t know how bad the pain will be until you try to stand. It might be even worse than it is now.” I knew that Griffin had a point when he said that, but I wasn’t going to let that deter me. The pain meant that I was alive. That I was here. And that was not something that I was going to regret.
“I will be fine.” I assured him again.
…..
“Joaquin, let Vincent help you.” Riviana pleaded with me. “I will make a door to our room. I just want to make sure that you are OK. Please.” She still looked so worried about me, even after all that had happened since I had woken up.
“Alright.” I said as I shifted and moved to sit up. Her hands, as well as Vincent’s, shot out to steady me when I winced from the pain.
“Careful, Joaquin.” Riviana warned me.
“Are you OK?” Vincent’s concern was thick in his voice. He was just as worried about me as my family had been.
“I’m alright.” I told them in as easygoing of a voice as I could manage at that moment. They weren’t convinced at all.
Vincent and Riviana made sure that I was steady on my feet and that I wasn’t going to fall before my Little Bunny stepped away. Vincent kept a hand on my back as if he was ready to grab me the second that I started to fall.
Little Bunny was standing a couple of feet in front of me when she started to open the door to our room. This was a handy little trick of hers, especially at times like this. It really was painful to be on my feet, but I wasn’t going to tell them that.
The door was opened, and my Little Bunny stepped back to me to wrap an arm around my waist on the right side. Vincent, on my left, pulled my arm over his shoulders and wrapped his arm around me as well. Together, the two of them, under the watchful eyes of Griffin and Lana, helped me through the door and into my room.
Vincent and Riviana walked me through the room and over to the armchair that was near the fireplace. It was large and would fit both me and my Little Bunny. It was a place that was meant for us to cuddle together when we wanted some time alone with each other. For now, though, it was a refuge that I didn’t tell them that I needed.
“Are you doing OK?” Vincent asked as he stepped away. “You’re a little pale.”
“I almost died, Vincent. I am sure that I will look pale for a little while longer.” I played it off as if nothing was wrong.
“Yeah, I guess. I was in pain for a while after I almost died though, so I know how hard it can be. Don’t do too much right away, alright? Ask Riviana or someone else to do things for you. Don’t be ashamed to have help, Joaquin. We all know that this won’t be easy on you right now. There is no reason to martyr yourself.” He was lecturing me without being stern. And he seemed to know just what I was thinking and feeling.
“I really am fi-.”
“I know what you’re doing, Joaquin.” He glared at me. “The pain that you’re feeling, you don’t want it to go away right now, do you?”
“What? Why not, Joaquin?” Riviana looked appalled and scared at that.
“You think that the pain is a reminder that you’re alive. That you’re still here. I felt the same way, Joaquin. I know what you’re feeling. But I also know that, if I could go back, I would take the pain meds. I would make the pain stop. I was alive. I could see, feel, hear, smell and taste, I had the people around me that were showing me day in and day out that I was alive. There is no more reassurance that you will need other than that.” He seemed to truly get what I had been thinking. I should have known that he would. He had almost died many years ago, during the battle with the dark Fae. If it weren’t for Riviana, he would have died, and we would all live like mortals, like we had done before. It was that night that had made us near immortal. It was because of not wanting to lose him that Riviana combined the three celestial beings inside of herself.
“Thank you, Vincent.” I gave him an apologetic look. He accepted it graciously.
“Take a bath, Joaquin. You’re filthy. And the hot water will do you some good. Though, rinse in the shower first. No one needs to be soaking in a blood soup right now. Riviana, you should soak with him. He needs you to be there with him right now.”
“I already planned on it.” She assured him.
“Good. I will see myself out.” He lowered his head for a moment, and then left through the door that Riviana had made, back into the clinic room that I had almost died in.
Riviana went to get the shower started and the bath filled. I was thankful this was a magical castle. The water pressure never depleted, and we never ran out of hot water. That was a blessing I had never known I had wanted before the castle was built.
Once the shower was hot, Riviana and I stepped inside of it, after she had helped me to remove the little amount of clothes that I had left, which was a shredded shirt, tattered pants and, oddly enough, fully intact boxers, socks, and boots. She had knelt before me to help me strip them off and I felt the love that she had for me.
We washed in the shower, not talking about anything, just cleaning and staying close to each other. We didn’t say a word until we were out of the shower and soaking in the tub, Riviana resting on my lap, her breasts pressed against my chest as she hugged me gently but firmly.
“I thought that I lost you.” She spoke quietly, but I heard it with no problem.
“I thought that I really was going to die.” I admitted to her. “While I was unconscious, I was in a sort of limbo. A place between life and death. I had to either give up or get back home. I chose home, even though that road was harder.”
“I’m glad that you did choose home.” She lifted her head and looked me in the eyes. “I don’t want a life without you in it, Joaquin. I can’t bear that at all.”