Filed to story: Sorry Alpha I Am Wolfless Novel
“Hey, wait a minute. Aren’t we going to walk in as a family?” I asked them.
“Aren’t you two going to help your sister to her class?” Joaquin added.
“But Mom, we know where our class is already.” Rika whined a little.
“Yeah, and we don’t want to be seen at the baby class.” Reagan added.
“It’s OK.” Talia hung her head, and I could hear that she was hiding her sadness. “You don’t need to walk with me. I know that I am not cool like you are.”
“Talia?” Rika balked at the words that her little sister had just said.
“You are cool, Talia.” Reagan leaned forward and patted her on the head. “I’m sorry I made you think you weren’t.”
“It’s OK, Reagan. I know you don’t want to go. I will be fine.”
“No, Talia, it’s ok.” Reagan took her hand then, smiling at her.
“Yeah, we’re sorry Tally. We love you and you’re our sister.” Rika grabbed her hand next.
With Reagan and Rika smiling at their sister who was walking in between them, we started to walk into the school together. I could feel the love for my children growing within me as I watched them.
“Joaquin, I think all three of our kids are just wonderful.” I grinned at the kids as I spoke, not bothering to take my eyes off of them.
“Yeah, they are great kids, aren’t they?”
We walked to the same classroom that we had gone to back when Reagan and Rika had started school. And standing there at the entrance was the same teacher as before.
“Well hello there, Miss Rika and Mr. Reagan. What brings you here on this fine day?”
“Hello Mrs. Buhler.” Rika smiled at her old teacher. “This is my sister Talia. She is starting school today.”
“She’s shy, though, so be extra nice to her OK, Mrs. Buhler.” Reagan added as he looked at his little sister.
“Of course. I have been expecting you, Miss Talia. I am so happy to meet you. I am your teacher, Mrs. Buhler.” She held her hand out toward my little girl who shied away from it at first.
Talia looked back over her shoulder and gave me a pair of tear-filled eyes. I knelt down in front of her and gave her my calmest smile that I could manage.
“It’s ok, Tally. Mrs. Buhleris really nice. She was Reagan and Rika’s teacher as well. She will make sure that you have a good time in preschool. And you will make lots of friends.”
“A..are you sure, Mommy?” She looked scared even though before we left for the school she had been filled with excitement.
“Of course Mommy is sure, and so am I.” Joaquin knelt next to me. “And when you’re done with school today, Mommy and I will be waiting for you. We will pick you up and take you to get ice cream so that you can tell us all about your first day of school.” I could see a faint smile on Talia’s lips when she heard Joaquin’s words.
“O..OK Daddy, I..I will go.” Talia agreed before she hugged Joaquin then me. “I..I will s..see you later.” She waved but I saw that the tears were still in her eyes. She was trying her best to be strong for us.
Why? Why did I have to do this? Why was I sending my kids away like this? I was the worst mommy ever.
“Bye Mom, bye Dad.” Reagan and Rika said at the same time while they ran away from us and toward their classroom. They didn’t need us anymore and that hurt me too. And Talia did need me, but I just pushed her off onto a stranger. This hurt so much.
“Come on, Little Bunny. Let’s go home.”
“Joaquin, why does this hurt so much?” I was almost crying when I asked him that question.
“It hurt last time too, don’t you remember? You will get over it, and Talia will be fine. Come on.”
Joaquin took my hand then and dragged me back toward the car. I just wanted to cry right now. I was so heartbroken. I want my babies back in my arms right now.
“Come on, Little Bunny, it’s going to be OK.”
“I..I..I..I k..kn..kn..know.” I was nothing more than a blubbering mess as he drove away from the school. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I knew that I was massively overreacting.
“Come on, sweetheart, it’s going to be OK.” He probably thought that I was losing it. To be honest, I was. However, that had nothing to do with this. For some reason, I was just feeling way too emotional. I hadn’t felt like this in a long time. Not since I was pregnant with Talia.
I knew I wasn’t pregnant though, I hadn’t been intimate with Joaquin since that night when everyone was here for a visit. That was a month ago already. Over a month really. So that definitely wasn’t the issue.
Then again…
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Joaquin
****
About a week after the kids started school, I needed to get ready to leave on a business trip. I was worried about going though, since my Little Bunny looked even more exhausted than she had before. I couldn’t even smell her scent anymore, all that I could smell when I was near her was the stench of exhaustion.
