Filed To Story: Pretty Poisoned Novel by Elle Mitchell
“Um, I think I’d rather just go back to my room,” I reply. “Tomorrow is going to be a big change for me, and I could use the quiet. I have a lot to think about.”
“I understand. I’ll let them know anyway in case you change your mind. Oh, one more thing, Teagan ”
“What’s that?”
“A couple of staff members reported they’ve heard you carrying on conversations with your hallucinations again. I’m going to make some small changes to your meds. If you have any issues with them, you can give us a call, okay?”
That fucker.
“Okay, great.”
She pushes a button under her desk, unlocking the door to the room. As I stand, she adds, “I’m so proud of you, Teagan. You’ve come so far.”
You’re an angelyou saved him. You did so good. I’m so proud of you.
I force a smile before turning to the door.
The same asshole nurse who brought me upstairs brings me back to my room and, after she opens the door, says, “My niece left for that commune, you knowfor your church. She left her entire life behind, and no one has heard from her since. I won’t miss youI can’t stand to look at you. I hope you all get exactly what you deserve.”
“I don’t know what any of that means.”
She scoffs. “Sure, you don’t.”
Once the door closes behind me, I turn off the lights, curl up in my bed, and sob.
“What got my kitten so upset this time, hmm? What’d they do to you now, sweetheart?”
I’m still sane enough to realize the arm draped over my waist and the body lying next to mine isn’t really there. There’s no way he could really be here in this locked room in Jurassic Park.
“Nothing,” I say. “They didn’t do anything to me. It was you.”
“Me? What did I do?”
“You told me we were the same,” I cry. “You said you loved me and I’d never be alone. You lied to me, and now I will always be alone. And every time I close my eyes, I see yours. Every morning, I wake up thinking I feel Luca’s fingers in my hair. Every time I look in the mirror, I see the evidence of your betrayal carved into my body, into my soul. I hate you.”
“You don’t mean that, Teagan.”
“I do mean it. I can’t talk to you anymore; you can’t come home with me tomorrow. I’m done with you.”
“Hmm, well if this is it, then at least let me hold you until you go. You shouldn’t have to be alone when you feel like this.”
“I feel like this all the time,” I whisper to the man who isn’t really there. “But I’ll do my best to pretend I don’t.”
“Right here, kitten,” Declan says, pointing to his collarbone, just above the ‘T’ carved into his chest. In my delusions, it’s still scabbed-over, raw, and angry, just like me. But in reality, if it’s even still there, it’s been scarred for a while now.
I roll onto my side and curl into him. “Someone tricked me today,” I tell him, even though I know that’s not exactly true. “They told me a blonde girl was here to see me. I thought it was River. I was happy for about ten seconds. It hurt so much.”
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. That’s a mean trick.”
“Everyone in the world knows exactly where I am, and none of you have come for me,” I say, squeezing my eyes shut. “That’s the meanest trick of all.”
“Welcome home,” my mom says as we walk through the front door.
My childhood home is a small, older, two-story Mediterranean-style house painted a shade of coral in a quiet neighborhood. Now that it’s filled with empty nesters, it seems even quieter. Inside, everything is just as it was the last time I saw it. It shouldn’t surprise meit’s been only months, not years since I was last here.
But so much has happened, and I’m entirely changed. How dare the rest of the world stay exactly the same.
“I guess I don’t need to show you around,” my mom says, setting her purse down in the kitchen. “Your things are in your old room. We had a hell of a time getting it all out of that storage unityour dad had to get a court order. And don’t even get me started on your car; I’ll add the impound fees to your tab. It’s parked on the street around the corner.”
“Okay, thanks,” I tell her.
“Teagan?” she calls as I begin to climb the stairs, her tone serious.
“Yeah?”
“Your new phone is on the bed. You won’t be able to download any apps without a password.”
I sigh. “And will this password be made available to me?”
“No, it will not,” she says. “Once you get a good job, you can buy your own phone and pay your own phone bill. But for now, the purpose of that phone is to help you find a job. Same with the computer. I’ll give you the wifi password, but you need to spend your time and our money looking for a job.”
“I got it.”
“Thanks for being so understanding,” she says. “You’re showing a lot of maturity.”
“It’s no big deal,” I say, shrugging. And I mean that part. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in control of my own life and how I spend my time. I’m getting used to the cage, even if it is cramped and uncomfortable.
“Your dad picked up pho from that vegan place you like in Fountain Valley. He should be home in about twenty minutes or so.”
“Sounds great,” I tell her. “I think I’ll take a shower if that’s okay.”
She smiles. “You don’t need to ask permission to bathe here or eat or anything like that.”
“Right habit, I guess.”
I turn, continuing up the staircase and then down the hallway to my old bathroom. My makeup case sits on the counter between the two sinks with a toothbrush and toothpaste set neatly on one side. On the other side, there’s an eight-by-ten photo frame with an image that says, ‘It’s never too late to become something new.’
That wasn’t there before. That one’s just for me.
I turn the dial on the old shower and strip down while I wait for the water to heat up. Then, exhaling slowly, I step under the spray.
It’s been so long since I showered under water this warm and pressure like this, so long since I’ve been touched by another human being that it almost feels like a hug. The realization alone almost brings me to tears, but I shake it off, trying to remember instead the girl who never cried, the one who ran on a healthy emotional diet of apathy and underlying rage released only in small, controlled amounts with little to no collateral damage. She wasn’t happyshe was just okaybut okay is a lot better than I am now.
I wash and rinse my hair before noticing a small disposable razor sitting in the soap dish built into the shower wall. I haven’t been allowed to have a razor; I haven’t shaved my body hair in months. I lather up my loofa and start with my armpits before moving to my legs.
The cheap, dull blade doesn’t move easily through the coarse hair on my lower legs; I take my time, going over the same spots two, sometimes three times. I feel it nick my skin when I run it over the curve of my kneecap, eliciting a hiss as I suck in a breath through my teeth.
Blood runs from the cut over my knee and down to my toes in ribbons of deep crimson. I watch how it paints my skin before running over the side of the tub and spiraling down the drain. I think, for just a moment, how beautiful it ishow I’ve missed the sight and smell of it, the taste. I run my fingers through it and almost bring them to my mouth before quickly turning and rinsing them under the spray.
No.
I can’t do this. There’s no power in blood, no beauty in it. There’s no place in the world for a girl who fantasizes about the taste of iron on her tongue and waking up in sheets stained in scarleta girl who still dreams about the feeling of a new titanium blade sinking into soft flesh.
Nowhere without an electric fence anyway.
I try not to think about it as I finish shaving my legs and pubic hair. Then I towel off, bandage the wound, and throw on a pair of black sweats and a tank top before heading downstairs. I smell the food before I hit the landing, and my stomach rumbles.
“Hey, Teagan,” my dad says. “Welcome home, honey.”
“Thanks,” I tell him. “Thanks for dinner. You have no idea how much I missed food.”
“Hey, they had a really nice menu there,” my mom counters.
“It was bland and repetitive,” I say. I grab the container of broth first, then my noodles and veggies, and bring them to the table. “Like they thought if the food was too exciting, we might all get riled up and attempt a coup or something.”
New Book: Returned To Make Them Pay
On her wedding anniversary, Alicia is drugged and stumbles into the wrong room—straight into the arms of the powerful Caden Ward, a man rumored never to touch women. Their night of passion shocks even him, especially when he discovers she’s still a virgin after two years of marriage to Joshua Yates.