Chapter 88 – Sorry Alpha I Am Wolfless Novel

Filed To Story: Sorry Alpha I Am Wolfless Novel

“Think about it. Truly think about how she might see it. You regret saying those words. That doesn’t tell her that the words aren’t true, just that you wish you hadn’t told her. Like you think life would have been easier if you just kept your mouth shut.”

“But that’s not what I meant.” I tried to explain it to her. “I was saying that I wish I hadn’t said them because I didn’t truly feel that way.” Mom got up and began pacing at my words, she was clearly frustrated. I watched as she stalked toward the window behind me in her anger.

“How is she supposed to know how you feel if you didn’t actually tell her?” Mom demanded.

“I thought I had made things clear with my actions and telling her my regrets. I’ve been trying to show her that I accept her. We’ve gotten closer, in more ways than one.”

I was trying to figure out this mess I suddenly found myself in when I felt a sudden sharp pain on the back of my head. I hadn’t expected it, so my head went flying forward several inches.

“You moron.” Mom screeched. I spun around to look at her in shock and saw her holding a thick book from the shelf behind me, she had clearly used that to hit me. “How the hell do you expect her to know how you feel if you don’t say anything. No wonder she thinks you just want her for sex. Getting closer in more ways than one. You’ve tried getting physical with her without telling her how you feel, so she doesn’t trust the progress you’ve made at all. She’s going to think she’s nothing more than another notch in your belt.”

“You know, she even told me refused to be just another notch for me.” I chuckled without any humor. “I really have been trying, but I didn’t know I had messed up so bad. How do I fix this?” I pleaded with Mom, I needed to know.

“You talk to her, explain some things to her. And for Goddess’s sake Joaquin, keep it in your pants and your hands to yourself when you do.” She was glaring at me. I hung my head in shame as I nodded.

“Alright, I will make sure I talk to her soon.”

“When?” She demanded.

“Tomorrow. At breakfast.” I answered.

“Fine, I will take breakfast in my room tomorrow to give you privacy. I will also tell everyone to vacate the room once you’ve been served.” Mom was still glaring at me, she was still very angry with me.

**

Joaquin

**

The next morning, I dreaded my walk down to breakfast. I was dragging my feet more than usual, yet surprisingly, I was still there before my Little Bunny. I had hoped that she would be here first.

I had just sat down when I heard her footsteps coming down the hall. She walked in, a slightly forced smile on her face. She looked almost as nervous as I felt. Did she know I wanted to talk? Did Mom tell her? Or was she just always this nervous around me?

She sat across from me and Abigail brought us our food almost immediately.

“Here you are.” She smiled as she sat the plates in front of us.

“What about Lila?” My Little Bunny asked. “Shouldn’t we wait for her?” She was so considerate.

“Mom has something to do this morning, so she won’t be joining us.” I told her.

“Oh.” She looked worried for some reason.

We ate in silence for a few minutes. I told myself that I was just waiting for the staff to be fully out of the area. In truth, I was just nervous and didn’t know how to start. After another minute or two I finally began.

“So, um, Little Bunny, can we talk for a moment?” I asked her. She had been pushing her food around her plate nervously, but the moment I spoke her head shot up, her eyes wide.

“Is something wrong?” She asked. I could hear a slight tremble in her voice that broke my heart.

“No, nothing is wrong. I just want to talk about a few things, that’s all.” I was trying to make things better, but this didn’t seem to be helping. I hope mom was right about me talking to her like this. Mom should have been here to help explain us to each other.

“Alright.” She sat her fork down and folded her hands into her lap, looking at me apprehensively. “What do you need to talk about?” I rubbed the back of my head, the memory of where Mom had hit me with that book yesterday made it throb along with my pounding heartbeat.

“Look, it’s been, forcefully, brought to my attention recently, that I’m a bit of an idiot.” I couldn’t look her in the eyes as I spoke. I was staring somewhere off over her shoulder not focusing on anything in particular. So, it surprised me when she started to laugh at me. I looked at her then, as she spoke.

“Well, I’m not going to object.” She said through the laughter. “But what about exactly?”

“You remember when I told you that I regretted saying certain things to you.” I was being evasive, but I didn’t want to bring up negative thoughts and make her upset. But I watched in horror as her eyes darkened with emotions.

“Yes, I remember.” Her voice was strained.

“I’m afraid I didn’t make myself clear that day.” I saw fear flit across her face. “Don’t misunderstand me. I truly did regret saying that. I wish I never told you that I rejected you, because I don’t. I never did.

I’m sorry, truly sorry. Can you ever forgive me?” I was pleading with her, I needed her to understand.

“Why did you say it, if you never rejected me in the first place?” She asked me. I knew she was going to ask questions. I was prepared for it.

“Like I said, I’m an idiot. There’s no simpler explanation than that. I was stupid and thought it was the only way to protect myself. But I also thought I was protecting you.”

“Protecting me?” She snapped. “How could saying those things protect me? Do you know how much that hurt me?”

“I’m sorry, I know I hurt you and I am more sorry than you can imagine.” I felt her pain, all that I could see boiling in her eyes then, I felt it all. “But I thought the people that have been after you were after me and trying to get to me through you.”

“So, they’re actually after me then?” She wondered.

---