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After getting off the phone with him, I had another call to make—to my older brother Kris. Sitting on my bed, I stared at the phone for several moments. I hadn’t been in their lives nearly enough since moving to LA when I was eighteen. Kris was newly married. I’d been invited to the wedding but couldn’t attend due to a fashion show in Milan the same weekend. It had been a bullshit excuse, but there it was. And Kellan had a son I hadn’t seen since he was probably two or three years old. The kid had to be close to nine or ten now. I’d been such a shitty sister, and now I was going to call them up out of the blue and ask for a favor. I’d been gone fifteen years. Visited maybe once in the last decade. God, I was a real piece of work. I sighed and dialed Kris.
“April?” he answered, sounding shocked but happy.
“Hey, big brother. How’s it going?”
“I’m fine,” he paused, then added, “how are you?”
“Hanging in there. By a thread, but still hanging.”
“Those assholes should have never printed that stuff about you.”
“I didn’t call to talk about that. Let’s stay on happier things. I, uh, I was thinking of coming for a visit.”
“Oh, wow, yeah, that would be great. When?”
“Well, funny you should ask. I think I’m going to fly out tomorrow. I really called to see if I could bunk with you or Kellan when I got there.”
There was a pause, and my heart leapt to my throat. I was sure he’d call me crazy or give some lame excuse. Why would one of my brothers do something like this for me when I’d been MIA from their lives for so long? Would I have done it for them if the tables were turned?
“Hell, yeah, you can,” Kris nearly shouted as he laughed. “We’d love to have you. My house is kinda small, but Kellan has an extra bedroom and bathroom at his place. It would be perfect.”
Simple as that, I was on my way back home. Larry had a private flight booked on a Lear jet, and my taxi picked me up the next morning at six. It was crazy, but every step I moved closer to Lilly Valley, a deeper sense of peace overcame me. Like I’d been fighting something, and had finally given in. It was the best I’d felt in a month.
Hours later, I was in my rental car and cresting a hill on the highway. Spread out below me was Lilly Valley. Seeing it, I truly understood the phrase ‘no place like home.’ Lush forest and rolling hills that were like stepping stones to the Rockies in the distance surrounded the town. The place looked like a setting in a movie, and I smiled.
I pulled into Kellan’s driveway. As I stepped out of the car, I looked around and took a deep breath. You never really understood how gross the air in Los Angeles was until you were in a place where the air was fresh and clean. It was like a whole new world.
The front door opened and two men, almost identical, came running out, laughing. Kris and Kellan had the same bold bright red hair as I did. Before I could even react, they’d scooped me up between them and were hugging me. The embrace from my brothers was much more emotional than I thought it would be. They were hooting and yelling, and I was on the verge of tears. Happy tears, yes, but tears nonetheless. I really had thought
they’d resent me for being gone so long. A few phone calls here and there, a visit every four or five years. To be wanted, and loved, was more than I’d had in a long time.
Hugging them back, I forced my face into a smile. Inside, I felt like a terrible sister. So much time had been spent living a life that, for all intents and purposes, was shallow and empty. Here were the people who truly cared for me. In that moment, as I hugged my brothers, I decided to make things better while I was here.
ONE
APRIL
After the initial reunion, things were a little awkward. It had been so long since we’d been together that there was some hesitation on all our parts, but Kris and Kellan hadn’t let that last long. The first thing they’d done was reintroduce me to my nephew, Aiden. I hadn’t seen him in years and was a little nervous at meeting him properly.
Kellan called the boy down from his room, and I smiled at him. He looked so much like Kellan and Kris had at that age. Not knowing what to do, I kept my hands clasped in front of me and waited for Aiden to say something.
“This is your Aunt April. She hasn’t seen you for a long time, but she’s great,” Kellan said, kneeling next to the boy.
Aiden frowned and tilted his head at me. Then he looked at Kellan. “Isn’t she the lady on that commercial you always gag at? The one where she’s wearing that little tiny swimsuit?”
“Well, yeah. If you had a sister, you’d also gag if you saw her in a thong bikini. Gross. But yes, she’s on that sunscreen commercial. She’s a famous model.”
Aiden’s eyes widened and he turned his gaze back to me. “You’re famous?”
My face went red, and I shrugged. “I mean, I don’t really like that word, but yeah, a lot of people know me. It’s nice to see you again, Aiden.”
“You’re really pretty.”
“Um, thanks. You’re a very handsome young man,” I said, my face growing even hotter.
He looked at me for several more seconds, and I couldn’t help but think I was being weighed and measured. I’d had couture fashion designers look at me with a critical eye before, but that had all been about my face or my body. Was my ass too skinny? Was it too fat? Were my tits too big or not big enough? Those had been easy to handle. This inspection by a nine-year-old boy was like my very soul and personality were being checked over. What flaws did he see that were invisible to adults? What sins could he see in the way I held myself? Frankly, it was terrifying.
After a few seconds, Aiden grinned. “I like you. You’re cool.”
I almost let out a breath of relief; thankfully, I had enough self-awareness to stop myself. Instead, I returned his grin. “I’m glad I passed inspection.”
Kellan laughed and pointed toward the hallway. “Third bedroom is down the hall on the right. You have your own bathroom. Make yourself at home.”
Doing exactly that, I hauled my suitcases down the hallway with my brothers’ help. The bedroom was small but more than enough for me. There was a full-sized bed, a small closet, and a tiny bathroom with a sink, toilet, and corner stall shower. Over the last twelve years, I couldn’t remember ever staying in anything this tiny. Yet, I couldn’t remember ever being so happy to be anywhere.
After he got my luggage wedged into the closet, Kellan said, “Do you want to drop by the bar?”
My parents had run a bar in town until I’d paid for their retirement. After they left for Texas, Kellan and Kris had taken over running it. My very first job had been washing glasses in the back. A nostalgic warmth spread through me at the memory.