Filed To Story: Destined Bond with My Forbidden Alpha Novel (Alpha Alexander & Selene)
She never intended to break Alice’s trust. She didn’t think keeping the truth about Alexander quiet for a little while would be a big deal. Just as having Maeve attend the meeting in her place was no big deal.
‘It’s never an intention,’ Selene heard Alice say in her memory, ‘Not with you or anyone else who wields that loyalty and power.’
Selene took a deep breath and swallowed. She looked away. Alice was right. All the past mistakes she had made, each time she hurt the people she loved, it had always started with the best of intentions.
“Nothing to say?” Alice asked.
Selene closed her eyes.
“The simulation ended,” she said softly.
“What?” Alice asked.
Selene took another deep breath and sighed.
“Three years ago,” she began. “When I returned home for the first time and tried to visit the treehouse…”
Selene paused. She licked her lips and continued.
“I couldn’t go in. It was too much,” she said. “I struggled for a few days. I thought no one saw, but one of the Summer wolves did.”
Alice was listening, as was Maeve.
“Raj, a good friend to Alexander,” Selene continued. “He had been working on a special project for Alexander around the time we met… one that had been put on hold after the first fae attacks.”
Selene crossed her arms over her chest as she continued.
“It was intended to help with PTSD through simulations and immersive therapy, a way to slowly process whatever held the patient back.”
Selene leaned back against the wall.
“When Raj saw that I was still struggling without Alexander, he approached me. He told me about the project. Afterward, he and I worked together to match me to the device. He continued to work on it while I got back to controlling the fae worldwide. After a few months, Raj called me back to Summer, and I was fitted for the device.”
“Fitted how?” Maeve asked.
Selene looked up and gave a gentle smile.
“An upgrade and a minor procedure,” she replied, looking down at her hand resting on her forearm.
Alice narrowed her eyes. She looked down at Selene’s hand.
Selene felt the gaze. She uncrossed her arms and turned her wrist so her palms faced up. She gently touched a spot at the base of her thumb. When Alice looked closely, she could see the faint line of a scar.
Alice raised her eyes to meet Selene’s.
“I thought only Galen and Alexander ever had them implanted?” she asked.
Selene nodded.
“The wolves of Summer all still use temporary neural links, a small device placed against the temple while in use. Alexander had planned to eventually have the implant rolled out to everyone for more efficient communication between pack members during emergencies. But there was still a lot more he wanted to be tested before that could happen. Including things like the program that Raj created.”
“Why hasn’t it been rolled out in the past five years?” Maeve asked. “Seems like a decent amount of time to work out the kinks.”
“The priority for the past five years has been controlling the spread of the fae and restructuring the packs in our territories. Many Summer projects have been put on hold if they are not directly related to those goals,” Selene replied.
“But they made an exception for you three years ago?” Alice asked.
Selene looked at Alice and then lowered her eyes.
Alice clenched her jaw.
“Did Fiona and Galen even know about this?” Alice asked.
Selene shook her head.
Alice sighed and looked away.
She knew that revealing this to Alice would make it harder for her to believe that Selene had no intention of breaking their agreement. Still, she needed to understand the reason for Selene’s behavior in the days leading to Alexander’s reappearance and since.
Maeve looked between the two women she profoundly respected and cared for. She could see that the rift between them was growing. She needed to try and bring them back into focus.
“You said something about a simulation ending,” Maeve said. “What’s that mean?”
Selene took a breath.
“Raj adapted the guided imagery and immersive therapy protocols to my needs,” she said. “They pulled from memories, moments that I could replay as if it were happening in real-time.”
She paused, looking at Maeve.
“He made it so I could see Alexander again,” she said. “So, I could feel him with me. I could see him beside me even if no one else could. I could talk to him, share my thoughts, fears, concerns.”
Selene closed her eyes and smiled.
“I couldn’t touch him or make new memories… It wasn’t really him. I knew that. But he was created from all our shared moments, so talking to him was like the real thing.”
Maeve gently touched Selene’s arm, giving her a soft and comforting smile.
“That’s beautiful,” she whispered.
“He made you a doll,” Alice said.
Selene turned to Alice with furrowed brows.
“That’s not—” Selene began to say.
“He wasn’t real,” Alice interrupted. “No thoughts of his own. No existence or purpose away from what you programmed him to be. He was made to your specifications. To be exactly what you needed and wanted.”
Selene swallowed.
“He was a doll,” Alice stated. “Specially made just for you.”
“Alice!” Maeve shouted. “That ain’t fair!”
“She’s right,” Selene said quietly. She swallowed and nodded, looking at Alice, who looked away.
“Selene…” Maeve called sadly, wishing to comfort her friend.
“No,” Selene shook her head with a smile. “Raj built that program with Alexander’s dream in mind. He gave it to me to help because he thought it was what Alexander would have wanted.”
“Didn’t it? Help, I mean?” Maeve asked.
“In some ways,” Selene nodded. “But not the way it was meant to.”
Selene took a deep breath.
“Alexander’s dream was to be able to help soldiers lost in the fog of war. To safely guide them through the pain and fear they were surrounded by. And eventually to lead them out of the suffering to a place where they could truly move forward.”
“A noble goal,” Maeve said.
“Yea,” Selene nodded and sighed. “But I didn’t use it like that.”
“How do you mean?” Maeve asked.
Selene looked down.
“Raj told me from the start that I was meant to process the memories. To immerse myself in the joy of mine and Alexander’s time to be able to move through the loss,” she began. “I wasn’t supposed to just focus on the good times. I wasn’t supposed to interact with him as though he were back. I was supposed to say goodbye to him… in my own time.”
Selene smiled sadly and took a shaky breath.
“I ignored his instructions. I ignored the warnings the program gave me,” she continued. “I just… saw what I wanted, held on to the pieces that eased my heart, and ignored the rest.”
She paused and licked her lips.
“About a year and a half ago, the memories were becoming less and less detailed. Some I couldn’t even view anymore. Eventually, there were no memories left to play back,” she said sadly. “I called Raj. I was frantic. He told me the system was built to move forward, not stagnate. To do that, it learned from the user’s behavior. He said that the system recognized my choices as unhealthy.”
Selene let out a soft chuckle and sniffled.
“He was concerned that I had developed an addiction to experiencing memories with the interactive system. I wasn’t allowing myself to process the loss and move forward.”
Selene looked at the floor.
“He refused to make any changes to the program. The only thing he was willing to do was shut it off completely. But I wouldn’t allow him. He told me that, eventually, the program would shut itself down even if he didn’t. It was never meant to be permanent.”
Selene took a deep breath through her nose and looked up at the others. Her chest ached, and her eyes glistened with tears.
“I stopped trying to access the memories and eventually stopped talking to the program. But I could still see him. He was still with me. Even if he never said anything,” she said, a tear running down her cheek. “Until just over a week ago…”
Selene smiled and sniffled.
“I was already on my way to Alpha Rosen’s territory when it happened,” she said, looking at Alice. “He appeared beside me in the passenger seat. I hadn’t called him, the program had no reason to interact with me, but… he said goodbye… and then he faded away.”
Alice turned away, swallowing the lump in her throat.
Maeve wiped the tear that escaped her eye.
“I pulled over and called Raj right away. He told me the simulation was over. There was nothing he could do,” Selene whispered. Her voice cracked. “Alexander was gone… for good.”
She let out a sob and brought her hands to cover her face. Quickly stifling her cry, she took a deep breath and tried to push back against the memories.
New Book: Veiled Desires of the Alpha King Novel
Dayson was the alpha of the largest pack in North America. Powerful figures from other packs sought to offer gorgeous girls as potential mates for Dayson. He steadfastly rejected these advances, he was not a pawn to be manipulated. But eventually there came a mysterious girl he could hardly say No. Who was she?