Filed To Story: Alessia Mistaken as Mistress Book PDF Free
“You were young, Nicholas,” she said, hoping to relieve his burden. “You weren’t his father. You were a young man trying to fill a father’s shoes. You did what you thought was best for him-for your entire family.”
“But it wasn’t best. If I’d done things differently-“
“We all find out the hard way that what we thought was for the best at the time, really wasn’t,” she interrupted. “You could have done things differently, and he still would have gone his own way. He was Stephen. You’re not responsible for his death. What is it you’re blaming yourself for? For being young when your father died? For taking over the foundry and making investments and treating employees decently?”
“No. I know it wasn’t my fault that my father died.” Nicholas stood and paced a few steps away and back. “I did what I had to do. I made wise decisions.” He ran a hand through his hair.
“But?”
“But I resented Stephen for not helping me do all that,” he admitted. “I carried all of it-the burden of the foundry, all the details, for years so that he could finish his education. And I expected him to appreciate that and repay some of the sacrifice. When he didn’t, I got angry with him. The anger just grew and grew.”
“Well, just forgive him now,” she said simply.
He studied her. Beside them William made a soft sound in his sleep. “Just forgive him now,” he repeated after her.
She nodded.
It seemed then as though all the starch went out of his spine. He lowered himself to sit on the bed’s edge again. “All right” He drew a shaky breath. “I forgive him.”
In all the months she’d known him, she’d never seen this vulnerable side. He’d never permitted it. And she loved him more for letting down his guard. “Now forgive yourself for being human,” she said.
“Nicholas, you’re nothing like my father. You could never be. I’ve been in this room with you all this time and you have yet to mention my character flaws. You haven’t even mentioned what I did to you.”
“Somehow it doesn’t seem too important right now.”
“How can you say that? Aren’t you angry with me? Disappointed?”
“Not anymore. Not after I had a chance to think about it, to remember exactly what happened and how it happened and why you might have had trouble telling me the truth.”
“I wanted to tell you,” she said. “I planned to tell you the truth from the first. But I couldn’t. And the longer I waited, the more difficult it became.”
“I remember looking at you that first day in the carriage,” he said as if not listening to her explanation. “From that minute forward I wanted to touch your hair. The feelings I had for you evoked so much guilt. I thought you were Stephen’s wife. And I wanted you.”
Her cheeks warmed.
“You had on a pair of dangling pearl earrings. Where are they?”
“I sold them.”
A sorrowful look crossed his features before he got up and moved into the dressing room, returning and taking her hand.
The object he placed in her palm felt cool and hard. She opened her fingers and saw her mother’s emerald bracelet She stared at the glittering green gems. “Why did you do this?”
“I knew how much it meant to you.”
“But I can’t pay you back.”
He closed her fingers over the bracelet and held her hand within his. “The only thing I would like from you is the truth…about why you left. Why that day? Why like that?”
Even the woman’s name sickened her. “Judith,” she admitted.
Anger flickered in the depths of his brown eyes.
“She wanted me to give her this bracelet or get money from you to keep her from telling that she knew the real Claire.”
“That’s why you left?”
“No. I left because I didn’t belong there. I never should have been there in the first place. I promise to pay back every penny for the food and clothing.”
“Didn’t you hear what I said? I don’t want anything.”
“But I owe you.”
“Alessia?”
“Yes?”
“We’re starting over with a clean slate here. You owe me nothing.”
She opened her hand to reveal the bracelet. “But-“
He silenced her with a fingertip against her lips. “It’s a gift.”
She drew his hand from her mouth and held it. “I don’t understand.”
“I want you to have it. And I don’t want you to feel obligated to me.”
“That’s rather difficult.”
“But not impossible,” he said. “You already said it. It’s about forgiveness, remember?”
He turned his hand within her grip and placed his other one over the back. With her hand between his palms, he brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them.
“Come back, Alessia. Please. Come home with me.”
The way he asked her made it seem for just a few seconds that perhaps anything was possible. If she was a dreamer, she’d have placed plenty of meaning in his words. But she was a realist, and questions assailed her. Perhaps he felt sorry for her. Perhaps he intended to satisfy his physical craving at her expense. Perhaps he had a worse punishment in store than even she could imagine.
“Start over, you say.” She drew her hand from his. “Come back home with you.” She stood and placed a few prudent feet between them. And then she asked the question she didn’t know if she was prepared to know the answer to. And didn’t know if his reply would be truthful. But she had to hear his explanation.
“Why?” she asked. “Why should I? And why have you asked me?”
Her earnest expression and the hope in those somber blue eyes tore at Nicholas’s heart.
Because I don’t want you to lack for anything. Because I can’t bear to see you sad or alone. Because I need you. “Because Mother needs you.”
She couldn’t disguise the disappointment that shimmered in the depths of her eyes. “I see.”
She was wise to keep her distance. He wanted nothing more than to touch her, to pull her against him and never let her go. The change in her appearance broke his heart. She’d lost weight A bluish smudge had appeared beneath each eye. The palm he’d held a minute ago bore blisters at the base of each finger.
The differences weren’t only physical He sensed her feelings of inadequacy and her resignation. He wanted to reassure her. Restore her optimism.
But how could he do that? She’d never been able to count on or trust the men in her life. No matter what she’d done it hadn’t been enough to earn their favor. And Nicholas’s own hot-and-cold disposition had given her no stability or ease.
She had no idea how he felt about her. Even though he’d shown her his most unpleasant side, she had hastened to assure him of his redeeming qualities, endorsement he didn’t feel he deserved at this moment. He’d never told her his feelings.
“Alessia.”
She turned that devastating somber blue gaze on him.