Filed To Story: In the Shadow of the Past Luna (Lily & James)
I did not want to face the possibility that maybe, just maybe, everyone is right and Stephanie’s death was my fault. Today, however, I am willing to face the truth.
I never should have prayed that you stop Stephanie from continuing to hurt me. I realize that now.
Please know that I never would have asked you for to stop her if I knew it would mean the end of her life. I would have just continued to deal with it. Please, if you are with her, tell her that I am sorry.
I accept that what has happened to me since she died has been a way of punishing me, and I understand. The problem is that I am not the only one being punished.
I do not know how many more times that I can watch my father break down in tears because he misses Stephanie so much. My father never did anything to deserve this.
I may not have been Stephanie’s biggest fan, and I may think that this pack has lost its mind half the time, but there is no denying that Stephanie was loved and valued.
If there is a way to turn back time, I beg you to ignore my prayer that day… or to at least take me instead of Stephanie.
If that is not possible, I beg you to accept my apology for my wrongdoings and help bring peace and happiness back to this pack. Please especially help my father and my family find peace. Please help the pack move on to bigger and greater things. Hell, even though I do not like him, I ask that you please even bring James a new mate who will love him and appreciate him in a way Stephanie never could.
It is time for the pack to move on… even if that means moving on without me.
If you will honor these requests, I will do everything in my power to be the best she-wolf that I can be. Rose tells me that we are special, and that we have a unique destiny in front of us. I am willing to follow that destiny wherever you want it to lead us… but please, do not let anyone else suffer any more because of me.
With love,
Lily
As I seal the letter, kiss it, and prepare to burn it, Rose speaks to me in the link. “You know that you sound a little crazy in that letter. What happened to the strong human I have been living with the last several years, who knows that Stephanie’s death was Stephanie’s fault and only Stephanie’s fault?”
I sighed. “It is easy to tell myself that when I am away from the pack and not having to deal with the consequences. It is a lot harder to believe that I am blameless when everyone around me is crying and upset all the time. You saw my dad last night. That nearly broke me. He is still hurting so much.”
“That does not make any of it your fault,”
Rose protests.
“Rose, the day before Stephanie died, I prayed that the Moon Goddess stop Stephanie from continuing to hurt me.”
“She was not hurting you, Lily. She was torturing you. There is nothing wrong with you praying that it stop.”
“There is if it cost Stephanie her life.”
“Lily, you are not giving the Moon Goddess enough credit. You are smarter and stronger than this. You need to stop with the emotional vomit and —“
Suddenly Rose stops talking through the link. She is pacing back in forth in my head. I have no idea what is going on, until the overwhelming scent of vanilla and coffee beans hits my nose.
“Mate! Lily, our mate is here! Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate!!!”
I stand, dust the ashes off of my jeans, and turn around. My heart drops when I recognize the werewolf standing about 200 feet away from me.
This has to be a joke. This cannot be happening.
(Lily POV)
There are a million different emotions running through my body as I continue to stare at the werewolf in front of me.
“Rose, please tell me this is a joke,”
I whisper through our link.
“I can’t,”
she whispers back. “This is real. He is our mate.”
I do not know why either of us are whispering, other than the utter shock of the situation.
“How? How can this be? It does not make any sense!”
I whisper-yell to her.
“You did ask the Moon Goddess to bring him a new mate.”
“I did not mean me!!! I meant a mate that he could be happy with, and one that he could love!”
“He looks pretty happy,”
Rose tells me.
Rose’s words take me by surprise. I had been so shocked and overwhelmed by my own emotions that-
even though I was staring at him-I had not bothered to take in how James was reacting. By the time
Rose said something, James had moved much closer to me, and we could now see his eyes and the look on his face.
To my utter shock, Rose was right. James looked… happy. No, not happy. James looked thrilled. He stared at me with astonishment, amazement, and… love?
“Rose, how is this possible? James hates me. He loves my sister. How could he be our mate? And how could he possibly be happy about it?”
“The mate bond is a powerful thing, Lily,”
Rose responds.
Okay, Rose is right about that. As much as I hate James for all that he has done to me during the past six years, I feel a strong, powerful draw to him right now. It is almost suffocating. I cannot help but notice. how handsome he looks, with his dirty blond hair that is slightly too long on the sides, his strong jawline, his amazing blue eyes. I want to know what it feels like to run my fingers through his hair, and everything in me begs to know what it feels like to have him wrap me in his strong, muscular arms. 1
I shake my head, trying to clear the thoughts running through my head. This is not right. Something is wrong here.
“Okay, I admit that the mate bond is powerful… but why me?”
I manage to ask Rose. “Why is James our
“He is ours,”
Rose says possessively. “He is not Stephanie’s. HE IS OURS. Neither you nor I have ever felt right about Stephanie being described as his mate and future luna. This must be why.”
I take a moment to let Rose’s words sink in.
I want to protest more… I want time to process and sort through the craziness that is this situation….. want to ask how I can be mated to the male that everyone believed belonged to my sister… how I could be mated to the male that has loved and grieved for my sister for the past six years… how I could be mated to the male that has spread rumors about me and caused me to be tortured and shunned…
….but James keeps coming closer to me. And the closer James comes, the more his scent and the mate bond overpowers any sense of logical thought in my brain. He is now just twenty feet away, and I feel like I am in a trance. My heart is racing, pounding out of my chest, and I am feeling a heat in my body that is begging and pleading for his embrace.
I try to remind myself once again that this is wrong, and that this cannot and should not be happening. However, my brain responds by suddenly sending me memories of James that I had long since forgotten.
For example, when I was 10 years old, I fell off my bike and broke my arm. No one else was around, and I started crying, desperately wanting my daddy. James had been in the middle of training a half mile away, but he somehow heard my cries and came running to help me. He mind-linked my father and then carried me bridal style all the way to the medical clinic so that I could get treated. I remember feeling so safe and protected.
Then there was the time when I was 12 and James was having dinner with my family in the beta suite. My mother had baked a chocolate raspberry cake for dessert, which was my absolute favorite. Unfortunately, I had to finish a project for school, and my parents‘ rule was that we could not have dessert until all of our schoolwork was done. By the time I finished my project, all of the cake was gone. James must have seen the disappointment on my face, because he immediately offered to share his slice with me… and then let me eat 60% of it.
These were just two of the memories. I know James had always seen me as Stephanie’s annoying little sister, but he still managed to be kind to me until Stephanie died. I had several positive memories as proof.
As though answering the question I had not asked, Rose again spoke to me in the link, “These memories.
are to remind you that James is not all bad. He has been sad and grieving for the past six ye years, and he has been very misguided, but he is our mate. The Moon Goddess gave us to him to love and protect. We must trust that she had a reason to do so.”
Again, I want to protest. I know, deep down, that something is not right. Something has to be wrong. Something is wrong. Life does not flip on a switch. I must be strong, not only for me but also for Rose.
Six years of heartache cannot be erased so easily. Rose is a wolf, and she is blinded by instinct and the mate bond. My role as her human counterpart is to help us see logic and reason.
But now James is just a couple of feet away, and the love in his eyes has only become more obvious. I have always dreamed of someone looking at me the way that James is looking at me right now. Mayber Rose is right. Maybe we should give this mate bond a chance. If we cannot trust the Moon Goddess, who can we trust?
James reaches out and gently strokes my cheek with his thumb. The sparks from his touch are my undoing. I lean my face into his palm.
“You are back!!! Oh, I cannot believe that you are back!!! How long have I hoped… and prayed that your would come back! And… you are my mate,”
he whispers, in a tone suggesting that he is just as shocked as I am. “You are so beautiful. How is it possible for you to become so much more beautiful than before?”
2
I blush as he pulls me into a hug, leans down, and buries his face in my neck. “You smell like chocolate and raspberries. My favorite scents in the entire world.”
I smile, my heart melting further. “You smell like vanilla and coffee beans,”
New Book: Veiled Desires of the Alpha King Novel
Dayson was the alpha of the largest pack in North America. Powerful figures from other packs sought to offer gorgeous girls as potential mates for Dayson. He steadfastly rejected these advances, he was not a pawn to be manipulated. But eventually there came a mysterious girl he could hardly say No. Who was she?