Filed To Story: In the Shadow of the Past Luna (Lily & James)
I watch as Lily’s face drops at the mention of her former mate.
(Lily POV)
“I got another call phone call from James Anderson.”
Oh.
Wow. That was not what I was expecting this meeting to be about. Of all the possibilities that I considered, I never thought that that would be it. I thought maybe Dr. Hyder would want to talk about my schooling: my future in this pack or at Red Rock; or even possibly issues going on with patients that I have worked with. But James? No, I never expected James to be the topic of conversation.
Just an hour ago, I was laughing and joking around with Brady. We were throwing cookie dough, eggs, flour, and sugar at one another with the innocence of two little kids. And yet now, before Dr. Hyder-at the mere mention of James’ name- I can feel my heart drop, and I can feel the tears threatening to pour out of my eyes.
The rejection happened six weeks ago. I tell myself that six weeks is a long time… that I should not care… that I should not be feeling this way… that it does not matter… that I never wanted to be mated to James anyway… but none of it does me any good. The pain is still there. I guess that is what happens when you are mated to someone with whom your painful past goes back not just days or weeks, but rather years and years.
James Anderson. My dead sister’s beloved. My bully. My (former) mate.
Saying it out loud still shocks me a little bit. I almost have to pinch myself to confirm that it is real… that the Moon Goddess really did pair me with James.
Some days, when I am feeling strong and confident, I feel angry with the Moon Goddess for or ever pairing me with him; I deserved better. On other days, when I am feeling strong, confident, AND a little sassy, I wonder if the Moon Goddess paired us so that I could reject the a&&hole and put him in his place in a way that no one else could.
But then there are the other days. The days in which I let my insecurities, and everything that I have been told about myself for the past six years, get the best of me. On those days, I wonder if being paired with James Anderson was some sort of punishment. Was it the Moon Goddess’ way of saying that I did not deserve to have a mate who would love me? Was it her way of agreeing with those that say that I deserve a lifetime of pain and suffering because it should have been me not Stephanie who died that night? Was it her way of reminding me that I will never actually be important to anyone? I know those are not healthy thoughts, but sometimes it is hard not to have them.
Truth be told, I had a lot of those insecure days and thoughts when I first woke up after the rejection.
Thankfully, though, I do not have very many of those anymore. Being around Brady, Alpha Hyder’s oldest son, has really helped. Despite being an alpha-and a very busy one at that he has taken a special interest in making sure that I adjust to the new situation and start to make friends here. He and I have become close friends as a result, and he makes me laugh. Being around him helps me forget my past and my insecurities.
Of course, it has not escaped me that Brady is incredibly attractive, with amazing hazel eyes, muscles to salivate over, and a strong, masculine jaw-line. He is also single. And funny. And charming. In fact, as much as I tease him about all the sexual innuendos that he makes around me, I secretly love every one of them. Sometimes I wish he would joke like that more.
At the same time, I know that I am not ready to jump into a relationship. James and I may not have had a romantic history, but we definitely had a history. Plus, despite everything, he was still my mate, and it will take time for Rose to recover from the loss of Luke, who was her other half.
I
Speaking of Rose, I was very lucky that I did not lose my wolf the way that most others do after a rejection. She has never stopped talking to me, and she will still shift from time to time. However, she has definitely been much more quiet and reserved than her normal chatter-box self. Also, when she does talk to me, I can hear the pain and sadness in her voice.
Before I even consider a relationship with Brady-assuming he is even being sincere about wanting to be with me and not just teasing- Rose and I both need to take time to heal… not just from the rejection, but also from everything that happened before and after it.
That will take some time, in part because I still do not have a full grasp on everything that happened after the rejection. I vaguely remember being grabbed as I tried to leave the West Mountain Pack, but I do not know who grabbed me. In fact, I do not even know if I should characterize the grabbing as a “rescue”
or a
“kidnapping.”
All I know, is that, a week after the rejection, I woke up in a hospital bed in the Black Moon Pack. I was confused and I wanted to leave, but I was h ooked up to a variety of machines and my body ached all over. I started to panic.
One of the nurses noticed that I was awake and went to get Dr. Hyder. Seeing Dr. Hyder immediately calmed me down. He runs the medical program that I was in at Red River, and he and his wife had taken me under their wing almost as soon as I arrived there. While at the program, I regularly had dinner at their house, and they took interest in me and my life in a way that I had always hoped my parents would. Dr.
Hyder has a gruff personality and most wolves find him to be scary and intimidating, but I have somehow always known that Dr. Hyder would never hurt me and that he would always do what he could to keep me safe.
After I woke up and Dr. Hyder checked me over, I was so overwhelmed that it took me a few days before I was ready to say much more than two or three word sentences.
It took me even longer to start asking questions. Unfortunately, once I did, Dr. Hyder refused to answer most of them. All he would tell me is that I was in Black Moon Pack because it was the safest place for mer right now. Black Moon Pack was the pack that Dr. Hyder used to be the alpha of, and that Brady is the alpha of now.
Dr. Hyder explained that Red River Pack was not necessarily unsafe, but it was the first place that he expected “people”
to look for me. Staying there would require restricting my movements in a way that would not be as necessary at Black Moon. Another benefit to being at Black Moon was Dr. Hyder had the pack’s computer systems set up on a network with his medical school at Red River, which meant that I could work on my medical program remotely for at least a few months until the “dangers”
were dealt with.
Ultimately, I agreed to stay. It was not like I had an overwhelming list of alternatives anyway.
Once Dr. Hyder introduced me to Brady and made sure that I was settled and comfortable, he went back to Red River Pack. Since then, he or his wife would call to check in on me every day, but this was the first time I had seen him in person since he left.
Suddenly, I realize Dr. Hyder is talking to me again, which pulls me out of my thoughts.
“Lily?”
“Oh, sorry. I tuned out for a second. I am very sorry. You said what?”
“James Anderson called me again.”
“W-why?”
“He wants to see you.”
“NO!”
Brady and I shout in unison.
(Lily POV)
James wants to see me? After everything that has happened? No, absolutely not. No way.
Apparently, Brady is thinking the same thing I am. Before I can say anything beyond “no,”
he speaks up again.
“Dad, how could you even suggest that Lily meet with that a&&hole after everything that he has done?”
Brady asks, not even trying to mask the disgust that he feels.
“I never suggested that she meet with him, Son. I simply informed you that he asked.”
“But you were going to suggest it. Why else bring it up?”
Brady asks accusingly.
Dr. Hyder sighs and runs his hand through his salt and pepper hair.
“Why would he want to see me? Does he still think I need to be punished? Does he want to hurt me some more?”
I try to hide the pain in my voice as I ask these questions, but I am not sure how successful
I am.
Brady growls, grabs my hand, and turns to me. “Lily, I will never let him hurt you again. I promise.”
Dr. Hyder gives Brady a look.
“I do not believe that he wants to hurt you, Lily,”
Dr. Hyder explains. “I believe that he is regretting his prior actions.”
“A little too late, if you ask me,”
Brady retorts bitterly.
“Given your history, Brady, that is a very interesting comment for you to make,”
Dr. Hyder says in a mocking tone.
I give Brady a questioning look, but his attention is now focused on glaring at his father.
“I learned my lesson. I will not make the same mistake again,”
Brady says pointedly.
“Perhaps James has learned his lesson as well.”
“That is not what you said the first time he asked where she was.
First time? James asked before? When was that? Why did no one tell me?
Dr. Hyder says nothing, so Brady continues.
“You know as well as I do that what James did to Lily is far, far worse than what I did to Evelyn. You refused to talk to me for six months afterwards, and even today you continue to taunt me with it every chance you get. But it has been what, six weeks for James? And yet here you are, defending him.”
New Book: Veiled Desires of the Alpha King Novel
Dayson was the alpha of the largest pack in North America. Powerful figures from other packs sought to offer gorgeous girls as potential mates for Dayson. He steadfastly rejected these advances, he was not a pawn to be manipulated. But eventually there came a mysterious girl he could hardly say No. Who was she?