Filed To Story: In the Shadow of the Past Luna (Lily & James)
My mother wiped a few tears away. “I am implying that because I did do something awful and I will regret what I did for the rest of my life.”
It was horrible and
“What… what did you do?”
I asked.
“Tyler… Tyler was the name of Robert and Margie’s first son.”
Trigger Warning: This chapter will discuss infant death/ miscarriage.
(Luna Jane POV)
My stomach twisted in knots as I tried to find the courage to tell James and Nick the next part of the story. I knew that neither of them would ever look at me the same once they found out what I had done.
At the same time, I knew that I was not going to be able to avoid this secret any longer. It was time that it all came out. Whether I had intended it to or not, my secret was impacting my son and now our pack.
“Tyler… Tyler was the name of Robert and Margie’s first son.”
I spit it out quickly, knowing that doing so would force me to confess the rest.
I saw the shock on the faces of both James and Nick. Neither of them had any idea that Robert and
Margie had a pup before Stephanie.
James let go of my hand and sank down into his father’s chair. I could practically feel James holding his breath, waiting for the next revelations that would come.
I turned and looked at my son, begging him with my eyes not to hate me.
“Before we found out that we were mates, your father had a girlfriend. Her name was Cecilia. She and I were what you might call ‘frenemies.’ We were friends, but we also hated each other. We were always competing against one another for grades, for boys, for spots on the cheerleading team.
When Cecilla began dating your father, I was more jealous than I had ever been about anything. As a result, I stopped even pretending to be her friend. Instead, I began finding petty or silly ways to embarrass or undermine her in front of your father. I became what the teenagers now call a ‘mean girl.
Looking back on it, I am not proud of how I behaved, but it was what it was.
Your father and I discovered that we were mates about six months after he and Cecilia started dating, and I felt like I had won the ultimate battle.
Your father immediately broke up with Cecilia and she moved away. We later heard that she discovered her mate in another pack and that he was a beta wolf. I privately rejoiced that I had been the one to land.
the alpha wolf.
Years later, when I was pregnant with you, I went with your father to a big conference for alpha and beta wolves. I was feeling fat and hormonal.
I was talking to Margie and a couple of other she-wolves when Cecilia walked into the event hall. She perfection. She looked even more gorgeous than before… while I looked and felt like a blimp,
I watched as your father noticed her, and as he went over to greet her and her mate. I was raging with jealousy, both old and new. In fact, when I saw your father kiss her on the cheek, my wolf and I were
I ready to pounce on Cecilia to protect what was ours. I was really not sure how I was going to get through the entire conference with her there.
The she-wolves who I was talking to when she arrived must have noticed the look on my face, because one of them joked that I should just dose her tea with wolfsbane laxatives to keep her in the bathroom the rest of the conference. I knew that she was just kidding, and of us all laughed, but sadly the seed had been planted in my mind.
About an hour later, I had to go to the bathroom for the gazillionth time that day. Cecilia followed me in there, and it only took a couple of minutes before we fell into our old teenage patterns of trying to one-up one another. I teased her that I had landed an alpha whereas she had been mated to ‘just’ a beta wolf. Cecilia, meanwhile, asked me how I was enjoying her leftovers. She also asked me if your father still liked to do… certain things… in the bedroom, and if he had shown me a couple of his sexual toys.
That was it for me. Imagining Cecilia and your father having sex caused my wolf and I to go absolutely crazy. I decided right then and there that I would teach that b&&ch a lesson that she would never forget.
During that evening’s co cktail hour, they were serving a variety of fruits, cheeses, and other appetizers. They also had these really interesting ‘tequila-infused strawberries, which were soaked in tequila and covered in sugar. I had already located wolfsbane laxatives in the hotel gift shop, and I thought the special strawberries would hide the laxatives perfectly. 2
I filled two small plates with various snacks, including a few of the strawberries. I discreetly added the laxatives to one of the strawberries, and then walked over and offered Cecilia one of the plates as a peace offering.”
She took the plate, but before Cecilia could eat any of the strawberries, someone stepped forward and accused me of trying to drug Cecilia. I guess I had not been as discreet as I thought I was.
The poisoning accusation caused quite the commotion. Your father, Margie, and Robert all came over to see what was going on and support me.
At that point, I was in a horrible position. If I admitted that I had tried to drug Cecilia, it would have brought tremendous shame to your father and to our pack. In addition, because we were in another pack’s territory and the werewolf council was present, I most likely would have been subject to very severe punishment.”
I paused to take a deep breath and wipe more of my tears from my face.
“What did you do next, Mother?”
James asked. I could tell that he was trying to be gentle with me, but he was also becoming more and more afraid of the direction that this story was going.
I looked down at my hands, and then resumed the story in a whisper.
“I did not know what to do, and I was panicking. I decided to do the only thing I could think of, which was to adamantly deny putting anything in the strawberries.
But then Cecilia’s mate stepped forward and suggested that I prove that I had done nothing wrong by eating the strawberries myself. It sounded like a reasonable solution, but as you know, I am extremely allergic to strawberries. In fact, that was one of the reasons I thought that the strawberries would be a perfect food to use to dose Cecilia, because I knew I would not mix up the plates.
I honestly told Cecilia’s mate that I could not eat the strawberries because of my allergy. That got me out of having to eat them myself, but then your father -who had complete faith in me- suggested that the strawberries be tested instead. He also proposed that Cecilia, her mate, and my accuser be required to apologize to me publicly once the test results cleared me.
I was touched that your father was taking my side over Cecilia’s, and yet it made me feel even more desperate. I obviously could not let the strawberries get tested.
Then an idea hit me. I complained to everyone that testing would take too long. As an alternative, I suggested that Margie -my best friend and our pack’s Beta female- could eat the strawberries on my behalf.
At first, Margle hesitated, so I mind-linked her. I reassured her that everything would be fine.”
I paused again, taking yet another moment to wipe my tears.
“Like your father, Margie trusted me completely. So, after receiving my mind-link, Margie did not hesitate anymore. She quickly ate all three of the strawberries that I had placed on Cecilia’s plate. Cecilia and her forced to apologize and let it go.”
And now.. the worst part of the story… I would have to look away from both James and Nick for this part….
“I should have immediately confessed to Margie what I had done, but I was feeling embarrassed and ashamed. I also really thought that the worst thing that would happen to Margie was the laxative effect, which she was likely to blame on regular food poisoning. And I told myself that I did not put much of the laxative in the strawberry anyway, and so there was only a small chance that Margie would even feel it.
Had Margie been a normal werewolf, I would have been right. In normal werewolves, wolfsbane laxatives work just like regular laxatives in humans. In small doses, the laxatives soften their stool; in higher doses, they merely make them miserable and uncomfortable for a while without any long-term damage.
In wolfsbane laxatives, the amount of wolfsbane added to them is very small, just enough to get past the healing tendencies of our wolves.
The problem….The… The problem is that in p-pre…”
I struggled to finish the sentence.
“Mother?”
“The problem is that in pregnant she-wolves, any amount of wolfsbane is dangerous to a pup, especially in the early stages of pregnancy.
And… Margie was pregnant. It turns out that she and Robert had discovered that she was pregnant with a son just a few weeks before the conference. She was waiting to tell Randall and I, because she wanted to make sure that her pup was healthy, and because Margie was still a little hurt that I had delayed telling her about you.
But they had already told both sets of parents, they had already started setting up a nursery, and they had already agreed on a name: Tyler.
I promise you both that I did not know that she was pregnant. Had I known, I would have handled everything differently. I did not find out until Robert mind-linked your father in a panic, explaining that
Margie was really sick and he was really worried about her because she was pregnant.
When I found out, I immediately confessed the whole thing. Your father called Dr. Hyder who came to help immediately… but it was too late..
Margie miscarried Tyler that night.”
(James POV)
As my mother got to the end of her story, I was not sure what I should think or how I should feel.
Should I be feeling angry with my mother? Disappointed? Disgusted? Even though it happened 27 years
I ago, I knew that I should probably be feeling all of those things.
Watching Nick’s face across the desk from me, I could tell he was feeling many of those emotions.
‘Me, though? To my surprise, all I really felt was…. numb.
In a way, I did find it amazing how a single story —about something that happened before I was even born, no less— could explain so much of my life and yet raise so many more questions. I think I felt numb partly because a big part of me was in shock and not ready to confront all of those questions yet.
I have always known that Margle had an unusual amount of control over my parents, and I have also always known how desperately my parents worked to avoid offending her and Beta Robert. However, I had always assumed that my parents behaved the way that they did because my parents were compassionate people who valued Robert and Margie’s opinions. I had no idea that the real reason was because my mother was consumed with guilt for killing Margie and Robert’s first son.
Now that I knew the truth, I could not help but wonder how far-reaching Margie’s control over my parents
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