Filed To Story: Traded To The Lycan King Novel (Colette & Merikh) by MG Wattsons
“We have never done anything to keep us from finding him, but it worked in our favor when you didn’t want a tracker…In a way, we thought it was you subconsciously not wanting to die,” Nisha says in a small voice.
“Noted,” I clip out. “What happens after we accomplish our mission concerns none of you. We will Find Ezrah and do what we must in order to end the war for our kinds sake. That is the mission. That is all any of you need from me.”
There is a silent stare off between everyone and me before Kyra clears her throat and points northeast.
“I think we should head that way.” She says and after a long moment, everyone seems to agree as they turn and walk in that way.
I stay behind, collecting myself and my thoughts It shouldn’t come as a shock for me that Merikh informed them of my wish to die, and it wouldn’t be a shock to them either. ones I thought had a st selected my group, I took the tomine, ones that would understand I have nothing left to live for.
Even in my moments of clarity where I realize the errors of my misplaced emotions towards my only family, I still don’t want to be here anymore. My intentions have not changed because my brother’s Alpha order remains fully intact.
I can not allow myself to die unless it happens naturally. Since he refuses to put me on the front lines, this was the closest I could get, and even here he has his pawns ensuring I fail at my one true mission.
My death.
“Hayes,” Kyra says softly next to me, making me jolt in surprise.
“Are you going to question my motives, too?” I ask her and she tilts her head, a sadness in her eyes.
“No, just letting you know we should try to catch up with them. That’s all.” She gives me a gentle, encouraging smile, and yet behind it I can see pain.
I am not the only one living with the agony of survivors’ guilt. Is that the reason she accepted this mission? Has she been lying and have the same idea as I did? Die in a battle to save ourselves the punishment from the heavens for destroying our gift of life?
“You’re not going to lecture me on wanting to die?” I scoff at her as I follow the path of the others. She laughs, light and yet eerily hollow.
“Nah, I promised I wouldn’t bicker with you anymore. Which basically means I have to avoid you.” She says, her tone changing to a moreet cheerful one. “I really enjoy bickering with you. It’s like I am getting you back for all the times you strong armed me into doing things I hated.”
“Like what?” I ask her, shocked she ever felt that way.
“Like when you used to make me eat lemon bars with you?” She scrunches her nose, her freckles dancing on her delicate skin as I swallow a lump in my throat and look away.
“You like lemon bars.” I remind her, and she clicks her tongue against her teeth.
“No, Hayes, YOU like lemon bars. I just liked you.”
I can’t help but break into a smile, holding onto a secret that I don’t think I can ever tell her. Lemon bars are my least favorite food on the pl. All that time I was convinced it was her favorite, so I always had it made for her by the pack cook.
And now, at the strangest time in the world, I find myself craving that tangy sweet flavor on its buttery cookie, just so I can have a moment with her like we used to. Just one more time before our inevitable parting.
*Kyra*
I wonder what it feels like to lose two mates. What happens to me after losing Hayes? Do I just not get to have happiness again or will I slowly waste away and die?
Second chance mates are commonplace, but second chance mates aren’t rejected. Rejectable? Yes, and sure it has happened before, but it’s so rare that no one really knows much about the aftereffects.
If that is the case, then this mission, whether or not I die, is my last just as much as it is Hayes. Or would he choose me, even knowing that a rejection places me in an unknown place?
My stomach falls and I press my hand to it, feeling the pang of disappointment deep. Would I even want him to choose me just to protect me? Old me would have had him anyway I could have.
But I know what it feels like to be truly loved now. The woman I am now knows how I should be treated, how a man should adore me the way I adore him. The last thing I want is a bond with a man who not only doesn’t want me, but doesn’t want to be alive.
I scoff, shaking my head at the nonsense running through my mind. This bond is weaving into my thoughts, trying to control my emotions and me. “What is so funny?” Hayes asks, causing me to look at him, startled, as I blink at him.
“Oh, I was just thinking in my head, that’s all.” I tell him.
“Can I ask you something?” He asks, clearing his throat.
“Depends on what it is, I guess,” I shrug.
“Did you have a good life? I mean, after you left me – uh, I mean our pack. Were you happy?”
His question surprises me, but the tenderness in his voice catches me off guard. It sounds like he not only wants to know but that he cares to know I lived a good life without him in it.
“It was rough the first couple of years.” I admit. “No one is all that keen on letting a lycan with no family into their pack.”
He frowns as he exhales. “I was worried about that, but it seems like Tyler was very accepting.”
“Tyler was…” I pause, smiling as I remember the first time I met him, the way his eyes lit up and he looked ready to scream to the world I was his mate. Regardless of his alpha being wary of the lonely lycan in the woods. “He was different from everyone else.”
“You loved him then?” He asks, and I chuckle.
“How could I not?” I say, a giddy grin still on my lips. “Tyler was…he was loveable.”
“Can I ask how he died?”
The smile falters on my face and I glance away, my hands growing clammy and my heart pulsing.
“I’d rather talk about how he lived than how he died, Hayes.” I whisper, clearing my throat from the lump that tries to form.
“Right. Sorry.” He says.
Awkward silence fills the air between us. It feels like we don’t know how to talk anymore. There is too much between us to be anything other than hotheaded or complete strangers. Yet, the comfort I feel when I am near him is unmatched by anyone else.
I don’t know how to navigate a life without Tyler or the hole in my heart. But being around Hayes again, it feels less daunting, facing it all. And I hate knowing that soon, I will lose this too.
“Looks like the rain is finally stopping,” I mutter, looking up at the small clearing above my head, hoping to clear away the remnants of our failed conversation moments ago. When I look forward again, I come to an abrupt stop, looking at the others who are standing at a raging river of water. “Well, I suggest finding a different way over,” Marcos says. “There is no way we are making it across that, not even in lycan or werewolf form.”
“I agree,” Hayes groans in annoyance before letting out a muttered string of expletives.
But I refuse to give up, not when I can feel it in my bones that this is the way we need to go. My lycan is on edge, snorting and snarling in my head as I move toward the edge, scanning the river and the bank across from us.
Movement catches my eye and I see an elf with his hands looped into the straps of a bag as he stands, relaxed, smirking at us. I want to launch myself across, to grab him and end this now, but no one else seems to see him. My eyes meet his as he gives me a courteous nod and takes a step back into the shadows.
“Yeah, you better run, Ezrah.” I murmur and everyone around me goes silent.
“Are you going crazy and talking to yourself?” Nisha asks.
“Ezrah is over there. I just saw him.” I say, rolling my eyes and I lull my head to the side, looking at her unimpressed..
“Are you sure?” Dean asks, and I scoff.
“Yes, I am sure.” I grit out at him. “He knows we can’t cross, and he must know there is no way to get over there until he is already gone.” “Ezrah!” Hayes roars in a taunting manner.
“Hayes.” His voice is soft, masculine and airy. “You have finally caught up. Took you long enough. I thought you would want revenge quicker than that.”
“It wasn’t you who killed my mate.” Hayes scoffs. “You were busy tricking Colette and Merikh.”
“No, you are right. But I have the only thing you can use to get into the dragon kingdom and get your revenge.”
Hayes’ body goes rigid, his neck muscles rippling and his jaw clenched. My stomach twists with questions as I look at Hayes and the fury on his face. Revenge is always a pipe dream. Something that we cling to in our grief to keep ourselves going.
Not that I am above it or that I am not also hunting for it in a way. But my revenge is ending this war. Hayes’ revenge is killing the bastard who killed his mate and then getting himself killed in the process.
“We just want you dead.” Nisha says, popping her hip out to the side, her hand propped up on it.
“Fair enough. But you have to catch me first.” He shimmers before his body seems to just disappear, and I bite my lip in annoyance. Hayes remains still, everyone watching him, waiting for our next move before he lurches forward toward the river.
“No, Hayes!” I scream, reaching out and grabbing hold of his arm. When he spins to look at me, his nostrils are flaring in anger and his eyes are full of murderous rage. “We need to be smart now, Hayes. He wants you unhinged. This is a game to him now.”