Filed To Story: Traded To The Lycan King Novel (Colette & Merikh) by MG Wattsons
“I told you, Alpha, I am not happy about this decision.” Hayes says, his eyes peeking up once but looking away instantly before he shoves past me out the door. His shoulder connects with mine, making me stumble into the doorjamb.
“So good to see you too,” I grumble under my breath before I grab hold of the door and slam it behind him a little harder than I planned. The wall shakes and Merikh chuckles.
“Sounds like your reunion has continued to really go smoothly.” He gives me a sorry smile.
“Hah. If wanting to strangle each other is considered smooth, then sure, it’s been really splendid.” I reply with a scoff.
“If f you don’t want to go, Kyra, you can say no,” Alpha Merikh offers, but I can see the worry lines on his face. “Hayes has been this way since he lost his mate. I am worried about him, about his obsession with his desire to die.”
“Is that what you wanted to see me about? You want me to babysit him because I used to know him?” I ask, not bothering to hide the shock I feel. “No,” He exhales as he comes around his desk, taking a seat in the chair across from the couch. “What I really want is to ask you some questions.”
I give him a curious look, my arms crossing over my chest. It did strike me as odd that Merikh hadn’t cared to ask me a single thing about where I had been, what I had done before he found me. But then again, he is the Alpha, so perhaps he already knows more than I think.
“Uh, what kind of questions?” I ask, arching a brow as I take a seat on the couch.
“Why didn’t you tell me all of it?” He asks, a frown on his lips as he watches me with pity. My stomach sinks and I swallow roughly. The room feels suffocating as I try to clear my throat and rub my clammy hands on my pants.
“Tell you-uh-all of what?” I ask, my voice cracking as I look out the window, trying not to make eye contact. Shit, I can’t do this, not after last night. My weak resolve is already cracking. I refuse to talk about it.
“I knew your mate.” He offers me a gentle smile.
“Yes, well, he was well known. He did a lot of traveling to help train other werewolves.” I say with a soft smile, remembering the kind yet firm mate I loved and lost.
“He trained you too, and from what I learned, you two became quite the trackers together.” Merikh asks, and I can see where he is going. I can’t help but roll my eyes. This rumor had come up several times when Tyler was alive and though he said it never bothered him, I could see the way the words stung his pride.
“Lycan’s are a little different from werewolves. Some things were much easier for me to pick up on, but Tyler was still better than me. He will always be the best. If I had truly been better, then it would be him here, not me.” I say, making sure Merikh understands I refuse to be told I am better than Tyler. Ever. He was amazing at what he did, and I strive every day to live up to him.
“I hear you told Hayes about him?” He asks, clearing his throat as he stands and makes a move for the coffee machine on the shelf where books should be.
“It may have come up,” I say casually, even though I know that is the understatement of the century.
“Did you want something to drink?”
“Uh,” I feign thinking about it as I fight the urge to scream yes and bowl him over for that caffeine. “Sure, yeah, I’ll have some.”
He nods as he goes about grabbing coffee pods to put in the machine.
“So Tyler, if you don’t mind me asking, he died over a year ago?” He asks, grabbing mugs as he sets up the machine, clicking buttons as if this is the most casual conversation to have.
“Uh, yeah.” I murmur, picking at my fingers, trying not to relive the moment I felt the bond disappear and the days after that seemed to only tear my heart out of me further.
“How long…” he pauses, looking at me with a scrunched nose as if he is thinking of the right way to phrase something. “How long were you…’
“Sad?” I ask and he frowns.
“No, I guess I am curious if you were ever like Hayes is.” He sighs.
“For a little while, maybe.” I shrug. “Tyler’s parents were killed a year before him, so I had no one left after losing him. Maybe that is why I didn’t stay the way Hayes is acting for so long. There was no one to pull me out of it, I just….had to do it for Tyler.”
“Well, you also were with him much longer than Hayes was with Leandra, and there were some…factors involved,” he says with a small frown.
“Grief looks different on everyone, Alpha.” I say offended he would insinuate that Hayes’ pain may have been more than mine. “I invested my time in training and tracking the enemy. Hayes has invested his time in creative ways to find an out for himself.”
He looks up from what he is doing, silence filling the room between us. For a moment, it seems like he may explode on me for being so harsh in my words. But instead a frown and sadness clouds his features and he turns, leaning on the shelf as he looks at me.
“What happened between you two?” He asks softly.
A bitter laugh races from my lips, and I try to hide it by looking away.
“Hayes never told you?” I ask him in disbelief.
Merikh shrugs.
“Hayes always just said you two grew apart and then, when he noticed you had left the pack, he got upset and didn’t speak to anyone for weeks.” It’s sick, but it makes me feel a little bit better that at least he noticed I was gone.
“It wasn’t that big of a deal.” I mutter, “But if Hayes hasn’t told you, then he doesn’t want anyone to know. So forgive me for keeping it close to my vest.”
“Fair enough I suppose.” He nods, grabbing the first mug of coffee and handing it to me. “The next question is a little more…personal…”
I somehow doubt he could get more personal than the one he asked before, but I take the mug eagerly and give him the look to continue.
“Can you handle this emotionally?” He asks, and I pull the cup away from my face.
“What do you mean? Because I am a woman?” I ask incredulously. I really didn’t expect this from him.
“No,” he says softly, “No, I ask because of what happened to you after losing Tyler.”
The blood leeches from my face and my fingers feel numb as I lick my dry lips.
“I don’t know what you mean.” I croak, and he frowns.
“You don’t need to lie, Kyra. I know you lost more than your mate. Thatch has done his job and reported back everything that haset happened.” He says softly and squeeze my eyes closed, a tear racing down my cheek as look away, trying to control this “How far along were you?”
“Far enough,” I whisper, wiping my face. “Far enough to know I have to avenge my mate and our dead child.”
*Kyra*
I can feel the weight of Hayes’ stare at my back. No matter how much I try to shake it off, it is steady, like a nagging or an itch that I just can’t reach or satisfy. It’s damn annoying, really. Not a single person says a thing, everyone keeping to themselves as we walk along in silence. It feels weird, like they have been instructed to ignore me.
It’s never easy doing something new, going somewhere new. I get it. I am an outsider, someone they don’t think they need. But I know the rumors of this crew, why they are here and how they were recruited. And I meet every damn requirement and then some. Whether they want me here or not, I deserve this chance to avenge Tyler and our baby.
We walk for hours, everyone seemingly knowing where to go before we finally reach a cliff and Dean stops, staring out over the ledge in the moonlight. He looks sadder in the darker, deeper lines of pain and loneliness highlighted by the shadows, and I realize maybe they are silent because they are lost in their mourning.
Though, it is more likely that the shell of a beta I once knew is the real source. Lonely people can only stand the silence for so long. We all crave that connection just as much as we hate it. We can’t help it. Without it, we sink into the chaotic noise of our heartache and pain. It is so easy to drown in it when there is no one to bring you back to reality.
“We should camp here,” Dean says, making his way back to our group of five.
“I’ll take the first watch,” Hayes says in a grumbling tone that makes my skin goose bump. A flutter skips through my chest and I close my eyes, forcing the feeling away. If I don’t acknowledge it, will it just go away?
“I’ll take the third watch,” Dean says.
“You take the second watch, Tracker.” Hayes says, a glimmer of indifference on his face as his eyes scan me from top to bottom and his lip curls in disgust.
“Sure.” I say, feigning to not want to slap him.
I remove my bag, walking toward a tree further from the group and the cliff’s edge. I lay my bag up against it and lay down, pulling my hood over my head. After Hayes leaves, I watch the others as they chuckle and start a fire. They are suddenly very chatty for a group of people so silent. Perhaps it is because I have removed myself from their immediate vicinity.
But then I look around and realize that maybe it has nothing to do with me and more to do with the absence of Hayes. Does everyone avoid talking to him in general or around him? Has he lived like this for the past two years? It had seemed like at least he and Dean were somewhat friendly.
“Hey there,” a voice calls out from the group, walking their way over with a mug.
“Hi,” I mutter, not removing my hood as the fire grows brighter and flickers across the distance between us.
“I am Marcos.” He walks up next to me, taking a seat before he hands over the hot mug. I take it curiously from him, sniffing it as he chuckles.
“It’s just tea.” He grins, the firelight illuminating the side of his face enough to see he has a pleasant smile. Marcos looks younger than me, though maybe not by much. His dark eyes match his tanned olive skin.
“What kind of tea?” I ask him with a soft smile.