Filed To Story: Craving The Wrong Brother Book PDF Free by Elysian Sparrow
“Shit,” I breathe when he pulls back. “I think I need to make some more mess.”
“You don’t need to find creative ways to get me to maul you. Just say the word.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” I grin. And then a question I’ve had in my mind for a while pops up. “By the way, have you heard from your friend, Hunter?”
“He’s still out of the country.”
“Right.” I try to keep my tone casual, but he’s already watching me too closely. It can’t be a coincidence that Hunter and Soraya seem to be out of the country at the same time. With the kind of crazy things going on around me these days, I wouldn’t be surprised if those two are hooking up. It’s an odd combination.
Knox, of course, reads it on my face.
“You can say whatever’s on your mind, you know.”
I hesitate, then go for it. “So… Hunter and Soraya. Are they…?”
“I strongly believe so.”
“Don’t you find that weird? Your ex-wife being with him? Isn’t that the whole reason he called off his wedding? Because Delilah had been with you?”
“In his defense,” Knox says, licking salsa from his thumb, “Soraya and I weren’t together in that sense. And I think he’s a different person now.”
“Sure,” I say.
I want to add that who isn’t? It seems we all decided life is too short after that grenade went off. But Hunter and Soraya? Really?
“It’s a pattern, you know,” I say.
“What?”
“Your friend. I think he likes being used.”
Knox raises an eyebrow. “Why would you think that?”
“Because Soraya’s obviously looking for a husband to help her raise her kid, as she said in that warehouse. She’s using him. Hunter’s just a means to an end.”
He stares at me for a long second and then breaks into laughter, tipping his head back. It’s the kind of deep, genuine laughter I don’t see from him often.
“What’s funny?” I ask.
“You don’t see the coincidence? The first day I met you, you said the same thing about Hunter and Delilah. Called her a gold digger and all. Months later. here we are again.”
“So?”
“You are not allowed to interfere this time. I don’t think he’d I forgive us again if we mess this up. Do you think I’m willing to write an apology letter to Hunter?”
I roll my eyes. “I think we’ve covered how much you hate apologies, Knox. The scars on are enough reminder.”
He laughs again, and we fall into easy conversation. Knox’s eyes never leave mine. We keep talking, laughing, and teasing each other. Somehow, by the time we’re done eating, I’ve managed to get taco sauce on my chest, on my neck, and what looks like guacamole on my shoulder. Knox keeps making increasingly creative offers to “help clean me up,” and I keep o having to ward him off with my napkin like I’m fending off an overly friendly dog.
He stands and takes my hand, saying, “Come on. The have to show you
I barely have time to grab my bag before he’s leading me toward the water, hand wrapped tight around mine. He won’t tell me where we’re going, just keeps walking with that steady, purposeful pace of his until we reach the edge of the pier.
“Right here,” he says, stopping.
The lights from the bridge make the East River shimmer, and I find myself whispering, “It’s so beautiful.
Knox nods. “And very deep. About sixty feet down. Things that go in there might get lost forever.”
“Okay. That’s random. You brought me here to talk about the depth of the river?”
“Yes. But not entirely.” His eyes, which were fixed on the water, turn to me. “I came here to remind you that you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. Even in my dreams, I see those cute bangs of yours.”
“Which dreams? The nightmares?” I tease.
He smiles and comes closer, putting his finger under my chin and lifting my face until our eyes meet. “The good dreams. Always the good ones. I love you so much, Sloane Mercer.”
“I love you too, Knox.”
“How much?”
“Umm… more than those tacos.”
He looks disappointed. “That’s not a good comparison.”
“They were really good tacos.”
He releases my chin and steps back a little, creating space between us. His hands slide into his pants pockets and stay there a moment too long
“Let’s play a game,” he says.
“What kind of game?”
Both hands come out of his pockets, fists clenched tight, keeping whatever he’s holding hidden from view.
“I’ve got two things in my hands, each important to one of us. One of them’s going in the river. You get to decide which.”
He opens his left hand first, revealing a pack of half-used birth control pills.
My jaw drops. “Are those mine? How-how did you’
“Took them out of your bag.”
“Why?”
“Because I know you want what I want, Sloane,” he says, pausing to breathe. “You’re just scared. You think you’ll mess it up when you have another human attached to you, someone you have to love and care for. That because your father or your mother was emotionally or physically unavailable, you will be too. But that’s not true, baby. You love me. You care for me, and you’re doing such a great job of it. You’re built for this, Sloane. You’re a five-foot bundle of overwhelming, boundless, and explosive emotions. Sacrificial. A little unhinged, but in the best way. Our kids will be lucky to have you.”
A tear slips down before I can stop it.
“That’s…” I say quietly, “I don’t even know what to say.”
“Just say yes, and I’ll toss this in.”
I stare at the pills, my hand pressed to my chest. I already know my answer. But still…
“You said this is a game,” I say. “What’s in the other hand?”
The smile he gives me can only mean he’s been waiting for that question. Slowly, he opens his right fist until what’s inside comes into view.
“Oh, my god,” I whisper. “Is that-“
He uses his other hand to help flip the small velvet box open. Inside, a diamond ring catches the light from the street lamps, sparkling like starlight.
“Would you be kind enough,” he says softly, “to assist me in tossing one of these into the river, Bunny?”
~~KNOX-~
When something good finally finds its way into your life, especially after a long time without, it’s hard not to live in constant fear of losing it.
I’ve never been this afraid in my life. Not when I took my first punch in the ring, not when I got captured overseas, not even when I watched the love of my life held at gunpoint.
This is worse. Loving her is worse.
Because love comes with fear. With want. With the obsessive need to know she’s okay at all times. I get these gut punches of panic when she’s not in my line of sight. I wake up in the middle of the night and reach out for her body on instinct. If she’s not there-if she’s even just in the bathroom with the door closed-I have to physically see her come out before I can lie back down.
I have to check that she’s still breathing three times a night. I have to hear it. See the slow rise and fall of her back. Press a hand to her chest if I have to.
And yeah, I know what that makes me. Clingy. Paranoid. A little unhinged. So I told my therapist about it. The one Sloane hired for me and practically blackmailed me into seeing. I told him everything. The nightmares. The guilt. The fear. And when he asked me what I thought would make me feel secure enough to breathe again, to really breathe, I gave him the only honest answer I had,
“I want to marry her,” I said. “I want her to be mine in every way possible. Legally, Emotionally. Spiritually. I want to write her name into every part of my life. I want a family.”
That was a month ago.
And every day since, I’ve been staring at this ring, this perfect sparkly thing I picked out myself like some lovesick puppy, and wondering how the hell to give it to her.
Do I write a speech? Plan a grand gesture? Take her on a helicopter ride, maybe? Public proposal? Private?
New Book: Returned To Make Them Pay
On her wedding anniversary, Alicia is drugged and stumbles into the wrong room—straight into the arms of the powerful Caden Ward, a man rumored never to touch women. Their night of passion shocks even him, especially when he discovers she’s still a virgin after two years of marriage to Joshua Yates.