Chapter 62 – Sorry Alpha I Am Wolfless Novel

Filed To Story: Sorry Alpha I Am Wolfless Novel

“No Joaquin, you don’t understand. That girl is your mate. Don’t you see. She is your mate and will love you forever if you only give her a chance. But if you push her away like this, she will hate you with every fiber of her being. And she will hate herself, because she will still want to love you because of the bond you share.”

“But she doesn’t have a wolf Mom, the bond won’t make her love me.” I looked away from her, hiding the pain in my eyes.

“What makes you think that?” She demanded, her voice roaring in the room.

“Only wolves can be bonded, only wolves can be dedicated, only wolves can be true mates.”

“Now, I know I’ve been lost for the last seven years, but boy I know I raised you better than that. What gave you the idea that only wolves can be true mates? Why is it you think that only someone with a wolf can be dedicated? She was born and raised as pack, she is pack, she may not change into a wolf, but she is wolf enough.”

“But look at what happened to dad and Uncle Nolan, they died because a woman who wasn’t a real wolf betrayed the man who loved her. They died because she was a spy for an enemy pack and used Steven for their own personal gain, I can’t trust someone that can’t form a true mate bond with me.”

I watched my mother then as she threw her hands up in frustration. She paced away from me and over to the window, strumming her fingers across the harp as she went. I remember when I was little, I used to love watching her play the harp. It seemed so magical to me. It was why I wanted to learn to play so many different instruments.

“Joaquin, you know that Steven and Mandy didn’t have a mate bond right. Steven had never met his mate, but he fell in love with Mandy and wanted to be with her, bond or no bond.”

“What are you saying?” I could feel the shock coursing through the air, almost like a pulse beating against me, I didn’t know anything about what she was saying.

“Most people in the pack didn’t know, I guess. But no, Steven fell in love with Mandy on his trips to her family’s pack. As you know she was human, fully human. Her father was a member of the Black Moon Pack, but her mother was human. She was not fortunate enough to be like the other half wolf-half human children that are born. She was not simply a weaker wolf. She was a human. But as she was born in the pack, they raised her in the pack.”

“I knew she was human yes, she was no wolf, but I had assumed there had been a mate bonding but that she simply didn’t feel it like we do.”

“No, Joaquin, there never was. Steven was nearly thirty, and he was lonely. He wanted a mate, and he fell in love with a beautiful woman. She said and did everything just right to get him to trust her and fall for her. But they never had a mate bond. Steven said he didn’t care. He loved her and wanted to be with her, traditions be damned.”

“But I was right though, she was just using him.”

“Yes, but it was not because she didn’t have a wolf, it was because she was a bad person. Don’t you get it Joaquin?”

“She was far from the only bad woman out there, Mom.”

“What happened to you?”

“When I first became alpha, so many people thought I was too young. There were many men in the pack that tried to manipulate me. Most directly, some by sending women my way. They would try to sweet talk their way in, worm their way into the house to control things. But I never let any of them. Any woman I was with was taken elsewhere.” I told her firmly, making sure she knew I never brought those women home.

“Those women were never allowed here at all. And when I refused to give them what they were after, when they were done prostrating and prostituting themselves for whoever sent them, when they failed, they turned ugly, nasty and mean.” I remember those women clearly, those evil, vile, succubus like women.

“And as time went on almost every woman who tried to get a chance at my bed was the same way. They would degrade themselves. Flaunt their bodies for all to see. Act like their only worth was sex. And when they got the sex, and nothing else, they turned into vile demonic creatures barely resembling the women from before.”

“With power comes the power seekers. That will always be true. I am sorry you had to deal with that on your own. And I am sorry I was not here to help you with your women troubles. I wish I could have helped you talk through it all, to stop you from getting to this point where you seem to have so much hatred built up.” My mother looked at me with eyes full of sorrow.

“It’s not your fault mom.” I tried to comfort her, but I was still awkward with her. In my mind my mother was a shell of a woman who sat in a room all day. Not this woman who stood here lecturing me.

“Oh, but it is, Joaquin. I wasn’t strong enough to survive your father’s death. The sight of it, the feeling of having his bond ripped away from me, it broke me.”

“Mom.” I said as I wrapped my arms around her.

“You’re so much like your father, mostly with how stubborn you are.” She laughed at me.

“Mom, what made you wake up?” I asked her, she hadn’t told me yet, and I wanted to know, now more than ever.

“I heard a voice calling out to me. Telling me to come see you Joaquin.”

“What voice?”

“Riviana’s.” I knew she was going to say that.

“Mom.” I swallowed hard, a lump forming in my throat as I pulled away from her. “There’s something I want to tell you, about who I think Riviana’s real father might be.” I was nervous to tell her about my suspicions. I didn’t know if I was right yet, but I had to tell her.

**

Riviana

**

After sleeping for three days and resting in bed for another two I was more than ready to get up. Which was why I had gotten up with the sun. I had changed my clothes recently, with the help of Aunt Eve and Nikki since everyone was treating me like I would break if I moved, but what I needed more than anything was a shower. Or a bath. Yeah, I think a nice long soak in my pool sized bath would be great, and just what the doctor ordered. Or what he should have.

An hour later, and a million times cleaner, I was dressed and ready to be somewhere other than my room. I went to breakfast, expecting to see Lila and Joaquin, but only the former was there. Joaquin was once again nowhere in sight. He truly was avoiding me.

I had wanted to thank him for saving me. He said he was never going to do it again, but Noah told me he didn’t even hesitate before rescuing me. I didn’t understand him. Was it because it happened when I was right in front of him? Was it because there were other pack members around? That seemed likely. He couldn’t afford to lose face in front of everyone.

After eating the breakfast that Abigail made, ‘special for you’ as she told me, I had intended to go read in the solarium, but it had started snowing at some point this morning and it was now too dark to read in there. Bummer. Looks like the library would have to suffice.

I was on my way to the library when I heard a sound I didn’t usually hear at the house. There was a soft, soothing music coming from the room down the hall opposite of the library. It was a piano. But who could be playing it?

I followed the sound of the music. It was so lovely I had to see if it was someone on a recording or if they were playing right now. Then I noticed the scent, Joaquin was down this way? Was he the one playing the music?

The door to the music room stood open just a crack, letting the beautiful notes slip out into the hall. Joaquin was sitting at the piano, his eyes loosely shut, as if he had been following the music in his mind, or heart, rather than on the paper sitting in front of him. I watched as his hands danced beautifully across the keys. I hadn’t played the piano since I’ve been here. Actually, I hadn’t played it in years.

“Are you going to come in, or are you going to stand there all day, Little Bunny?” I growled at his use of the name that I hate, but I pushed the door open further and walked into the room, just barely into it.

“I didn’t mean to spy on you, you just caught me off guard.” I told him.

“I caught you off guard? You were the one watching me.” He laughed.

“Yeah, I didn’t expect to hear you playing the piano. It’s the first time I’ve heard it since I’ve been here.”

“I just tuned it. I haven’t played it in a long time.” He looked longingly around the room.

“It sounds great for being neglected, usually you’d need to tune it several times to get a sound like that out of a neglected piano.” I was inadvertently lecturing him, trying to tell him something he mostly likely already knew. His eyes went wide.

---