Filed To Story: Between Two Kings: A Split or Swallow Book PDF Free
She wasn’t so simple. It was not a matter of will. Tem was resisting the draw of nature, the very thing that brought her to Leo in the first place. It was impossible to resist such a force, and she was powerless against it.
“This isn’t the first time, is it?” Leo said.
“What do you mean?”
“This isn’t the first order you’ve given me. At our wedding, you told me to go. You told me to find Evelyn.”
Tem bit her lip. Was he going to yell at her for that? “Yes. I did.”
She expected him to stand up again-to explode. Instead he simply stared at her, his brow slightly furrowed, as if he were working out a complicated problem.
“Why did you do that?” he asked quietly.
Why indeed. It was the same question she’d asked herself a hundred times since then. There was really only one answer. “Because I wanted you to be happy. You deserved more.”
Myriad emotions passed over his face. Tem had no idea what he was thinking and didn’t dare ask. Instead she waited for a long moment before saying, “The last thing I wanted was to hurt you, Leo.”
This was received with an incredulous laugh. “And yet, that’s all you do, Tem.”
She opened her mouth to protest but found she didn’t have the words. Then, to her surprise, Leo softened.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
He didn’t say he didn’t mean it-only that he shouldn’t have said it.
Without warning, he leaned forward. Tem tried not to flinch, but by the look on Leo’s face, she must have. He halted, his body still angled toward hers.
“I would do anything you asked, Tem,” he whispered. “Whether I am bound to you or not.”
Tears filled her eyes. Of course she knew that-of course she understood Leo’s love for her and how he expressed it. She always had.
The only sound was the crackling of the fire. Tem wanted to lean forward too, to close the distance between them, but to do so would mean risking the tentative peace they had just found, and nothing could make her do that. Instead she said, “We can’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“Meet like this-alone. We should have…a chaperone or something.”
Leo let out a dull laugh. “A fucking chaperone isn’t going to stop me from wanting you, Tem.”
It wasn’t going to stop Tem from wanting him either. She had always thought that the pain she felt from letting Leo go was her punishment, that she deserved it. But now she realized she was not the only one being punished. Her selfless act had backfired, and Leo was hurting too. Her attempt to make things right had gone wrong. She had tried to fix something that wasn’t even broken, and now they were both paying the price.
“Then what do we do?” she whispered. “How do we control this?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think we can.”
“We have to, Leo. We have to.”
“Maybe I don’t want to.”
“That’s not an option.”
He didn’t reply. It was answer enough.
“If we could just talk it through, then maybe we could figure out-“
“I can’t,” he cried. “I can’t just talk to you. Talking is the last fucking thing I want to do with you, Tem.”
Tem bit back tears. She knew he was right; they shouldn’t even be talking as they were now. Technically, nothing had happened yet. But if they continued to do this, it would.
A memory flashed suddenly through Tem’s mind: words scrawled in spiky red ink.
“You could write to me,” she said without thinking.
Leo blinked. “What?”
Tem leaned forward, ignoring the flash of desire in his eyes. “Everything you want to tell me but can’t-you could write it instead.”
He shook his head. “What good will that possibly do?”
“I don’t know. It might help…get it out of your system.”
Leo let out a harsh laugh. Tem knew how he felt because she felt the same: there was no getting each other out of their systems. But they had to do something.
“We have to get through this somehow, Leo,” she pleaded. “For everyone’s sake.”
The problem was so much bigger than the two of them. It wasn’t just their marriages at risk. It was their kingdoms.
Leo turned from her, staring into the fire. “Fine,” he said eventually, his voice tight. “I’ll write to you.”
Dull relief pulsed through her. It was hardly a permanent solution. Or even a rational one. But if Leo could express himself in a way that didn’t harm either of them, perhaps they would be able to muddle through the rest of these dinners without ruining absolutely everything.
Leo dropped his voice. “Will you read them?”
“If you want me to,” she whispered. “Someday. But for now, just…”
“Hide them,” he finished for her.
Tem nodded. It was not lost on her that this entire thing was a terrible idea. The thought of Leo expressing how he felt in writing and keeping them anywhere in the vicinity of his soon-to-be wife was surely a recipe for disaster. But there was nothing else to be done. Leo was right; there was nowhere for their feelings to go. So perhaps they could go into the letters.
“Will you write to me in return?” he whispered.
“Do you want me to?”
Leo turned back to her. His eyes traced down her body, and Tem knew he was picturing every inch of her curves. In his gaze, she saw everything he couldn’t say and everything he would no doubt write in the letters. She saw how badly he wanted her-how much it was killing him to refrain from touching her-how he was mere seconds away from sweeping her into his arms. She saw his pain. So it didn’t surprise her when he answered, “No.”
Should she be offended? Relieved?
Perhaps it was for the best that he didn’t want her to write. Surely, he already knew how she felt. And while keeping love letters around was risky for Leo, it was downright dangerous for Tem. There could be no evidence of her love for Leo-no physical confirmation of their bond. Basilisks were not free with their hearts. No one could read those letters.
Especially not Caspen.
Caspen was not in their chambers when Tem returned to the cave. She knew he was avoiding her, so she fell asleep alone, curled up in the middle of their bed, trying not to think about Leo. But her dreams were filled with him. They always started the same way: with the brush of a pinkie. Except this time, they weren’t standing in front of the dungeon door. Now they were in Leo’s bedroom, and they were naked.
Leo kissed her first, eager and desperate, his teeth pulling at her bottom lip. Tem received what he gave her, letting him touch her anywhere he liked. They were always a little freer in her dreams than they had been in real life. In her dreams, they were safe.
Will you keep me around?
For as long as you’ll let me.
Tem was still alone when she woke.