Filed To Story: Zaia Toussaint and Sebastian King: Werewolf Book PDF Free
I don’t want her to go… even if she doesn’t accept me… I can’t live with myself knowing I am who chased her away.
She sighs softly, but it is one that holds a lot of weight behind it. Like she is exhausted, her reserves depleted, and she has nothing left to give, no time, not patience, no love, nor mercy or forgiveness, I’ve used it all up, and it kills me to know I am the reason for it all.
“Why not stay, even if you don’t want to accept me into your life, at least stay so. the kids can have us both close?”
I try, when she doesn’t respond.
“I guess that’s what everyone would want me to do, would expect of me, but is it really that wrong to want to take time for me?”
she asks softly, as she turns, her eyes filled with pain that mirrors my own but it’s her words that hit a chord, guilt ripping through me.
“No, it’s not wrong.”
Fuck, I hate this.
–
“Then please… don’t make it any more difficult than it already is,”
she whispers, her voice trembling. I close the gap between us and cup her face, feeling the magic of our connection dance along my fingertips.
“Zaia… Fuck. I know… I know I fucked up, and if I could turn back time, I would… can’t we start over? Please, I swear no matter what, I will not make the mistake again.”
But even as those words leave my mouth, I realise I’ve said them before… right when she was at her most vulnerable and promised me to open up to her. No more lies, no more misconception but I didn’t.
“No. I don’t want to do something just because it’s what others want. I want to put myself first for once. I want to heal and learn what I truly want from my lifebecause I know this is not it. Please, Sebastian, don’t make this harder for me, she whispers, her voice a murmur on the wind.
“Zaia, I fucking love you. I just, I am sorry…”
I say, gazing into her amethyst eyes.
“I know and I do love you, but it also hurts far too much.”
I hate seeing her like this. She’s beautiful, but at the same time, she’s vulnerable and hurting.
I had seen the signs, the silent plea for me not to break the promise I made, the warning that if I did, it would break her… but I did, anyway. Even if my heart was in the right place, I did the worst thing I could possibly do to her; betraying her faith that she had put in me once again.
I realise in that moment as she looks at me what I need to do… no matter how hard, or how it’ll break me.
If I truly love her, I need to let her go. If she one day finds it in herself to forgive me, then I will wait for it.
If she is meant to be in my life until the end, she will return to me and if not… then our precious moments will be like a passing season that I will never forget.
“I understand, and I am proud that you are putting yourself first. I’m proud of you Little Fox, I truly am.”
I lean down and kiss her forehead softly, closing my eyes as the pain of what is happening settles in.
I love you, with everything I have, but I just didn’t treat you the way I should have and now I will pay the price for it.
I am fucking sorry, even if that word itself is doing nothing but building resentment for myself within me. I messed up and there is no undoing what I did. Those are the words I want to say to her, but… I can’t… I have no right to..
“Thank you… for understanding,”
she murmurs, her delicate hands wrapping around my wrist, and I sense the slight weight lifting from her.
Even now… I was nothing but a burden upon her and that is not the relationship I want. Not for her. Not for me.
I move back, blue eyes meeting violet… two separate souls, ready to embark on two separate journeys. Perhaps one day we will meet at another crossroad, and maybe, just maybe, from there, our paths may truly become one.
ZAIA.
His acceptance of my decision feels like a wave of serenity washing over me. My lungs no longer feel like the air is being squeezed from them.
I can finally breathe, finally try to move on from the torment of my own mind. I need to heal before I can even consider being with another.
His broken promises and betrayal feel like he had cut a wound to the very core of my being.
It’s as if the ground beneath me had suddenly given way, leaving me in a state of shock and disbelief. Those were emotions I can’t forget, even when I truly want
1. to.
The pain was sharp and unexpected, and when I had clung to the hope that this time, he would not betray me, believing and trusting him implicitly, he broke me.
We now gaze into one another’s eyes, and I find myself engulfed in a whirlwind of emotions – hurt, sadness, guilt but above them all there is a sense of profound peace that is hard to articulate.
I feel guilty, knowing why he did what he did, hurt because despite it I had suffered greatly and the sadness that I feel deep inside that no matter what, in the end, I must always prepare to be alone. That I should never have looked to another for support and protection because the only person who will not leave you is yourself.
I may love Sebastian, but in the end, when I needed him the most, he cast me aside like I meant nothing more than the clothes he wears. I know he loves me, but love is not always enough. I need toheal the wound that is bleeding within me, and only then can I be happy. 5
Grappling with this new reality, I question my own judgment and the choices that led me here. Trust, once given so freely, now feels like a dangerous gamble, and I can no longer play that game. I’m done being dealt the losing hand.
I’ll be deemed selfish, but I’m ok… I know what I have done for others and for everyone around me. I know the love I feel for those important to me, for my packs and my people, but for myself, I am ready to be selfish because they aren’t the ones in my shoes. I’m the one living with the constant reminder that I was never enough. When I am. I should be.
A soft wind blows as I gaze into those piercing blue eyes that captured my heart
1+15 BONUSfrom the first time that I saw him. He had caught me hook, line and sinker from that day and even now I still love him.
But he let me believe I could trust him when I couldn’t entirely. Trust is something that is taken for granted until you’ve lost it, and I gave him all of it, twice…
Just the same as love, that was another thing I gave him willingly, only for him to show me how easily love could break someone.
But if love feels this broken, this pain that it hurts to breathe, is it truly love or just some hope we all have? We all wish desperately for that one person that truly sees past the fa?ades we all put up.
Wishing for that one person who sees through the smile that is pained. Sees past our flaws and still loves us because we are theirs.
I don’t know what hurts more, the betrayal of trust broken or losing the hope of a future that he led me to believe could be ours when in reality, it was doomed to end in heartbreak.
Maybe one day I will see things differently, maybe one day it won’t hurt so much, maybe one day I will no longer yearn for him or maybe one day I will realise he is my destination… and I will await that day.
“Thank you. Sebastian,”
I say quietly, knowing that if he continues to chase me, it will only make it harder for me.
“No need to thank me, Alpha Zaia,”
he replies in that sexy raspy voice.
I smile slightly and he glances down at my stomach, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows hard. “Will you at least let me see the children and be there when this one is born?”
he asks quietly.
“I don’t-“
“I missed the other’s births… I don’t want to do the same with this one.’
“You can be in the hall outside the birthing room when the time comes,”
I say with a small smile.
“Excellent. Then it’s a date.”
I cock a brow, and he smirks. “Ok, not a date.”
“Better.”
I smile as a sharp wind whips my hair across my face, he’s about to reach for it before swiftly moving his hand back and shoving it in his pocket and I slowly move mine back.
“I did have a question, it doesn’t really mean much, but it’s always niggling in my mind. It’s regarding you and Annalise.”
He cocks a brow. “Go for it.”
“How serious was your relationship, she made it seem like you two were practically ready to get married… but you never really said anything.”
Now that I’ve asked it, I feel uncomfortable and feel it’s something so small it’s not even important.
“I never said anything because there was never anything to say. I took her to a few work meetings, but that was about it. There was nothing beyond a few kisses and even those were initiated by her,”
he replies, his voice cold.
And all these years I thought there was more… “And this is why speaking and sharing your thoughts is so vital,”
I murmur, sighing as I gaze up at the sky.
I feel content and at peace. Maybe when I leave, I will have days where I will miss him. There are days when I wonder if this is what I want, but it is the right decision for me.
Turning, I smile up at him. “Well, thank you. Shall we get back inside and see whose dad is kicking whose butt?”
I laugh softly.
New Book: Returned To Make Them Pay
On her wedding anniversary, Alicia is drugged and stumbles into the wrong room—straight into the arms of the powerful Caden Ward, a man rumored never to touch women. Their night of passion shocks even him, especially when he discovers she’s still a virgin after two years of marriage to Joshua Yates.