Filed To Story: The Omega Destiny
That last message pats a big smile on my face. I can just picture her how. Happy, proud. Her teal eyes lit up bright, their only rival the moon.
Me: Well I have no doubt you can do anything you put your mind to. If you are really wanting a job, you can have one. It is not necessary at this moment or at all for you to stay here. If you start having a panic attack, I want notified right away. If it is too much you pull back. Do you understand little wolf. Don’t push it.
Little Wolf: Yes, I understand.
Me: Good girl.
Little Wolf: If I reconnect to my wolf, can I choose not to shift?
The last message has me confused. Why would any shifter want to hide their other half. The desire to run would get out of control. You could go feral. I better do some education
Me: I wouldn’t force you to shift or be involved with pack activities until you are comfortable. Putting off not shifting entirely would be extremely difficult. Ignoring our other half could cause them to go feral. It would put you on edge probably 24/7 until dealt with. The need to shift and run, expel energy that is.
Little Wolf: Is there anything else that I could do to expel energy?
Me: Oh, there are tons of inappropriate things you could do, but it wouldn’t cover the need for long. How about you tell me the reason you want to connect but NEVER shift. That part needs more explanation little wolf.
Little wolf: I just don’t want her to be feral after so long trapped within my mind. There are a lot of things that could go wrong.
Me: I will be there with you; Ronan can handle anything.
She doesn’t send me any more messages and I don’t want to show her how desperate I am for her attention. More drinking, more sulking. Mom used to have family dinner every Sunday, without fail. She made the best meatloaf. Ketchup glazed. Anyone that likes their meatloaf plain is untrustworthy. I will stand on that. Dad and I would go over pack issues. Constantly preparing me for my time. I would hang with my annoying little sister and threatened the lives of any boys she dared talk about or that Mom would tell me about. She would call me names and throw things at me. What I wouldn’t do to hear her voice call me alpha??annabe or fake dad. My favorite was “stupid big old man??aby.” Usually, you would trip over roller skates or her and her friends bikes out front. Her room decorated with all things pink and girlie. Dad and I would go for a hunt, and I would come back to help mom clean up and pack up my to go boxes. Of course, I would need to pack Cyrus one too. Now, their house sets empty of them. Everything still in it the way they left it. Maybe I will go by. It has been six years since I went in there. I think I last went in to pick out my parents’ clothes to put on them before burning them. Before that it was comforting mom while she picked out my sister’s clothes. She stopped doing family meals after that. Stopped doing really anything I should have known.
Damn it. I am going to need more alcohol. I am about out and I am still feeling this pain. I rub my eyes, run my fingers through my hair and pace around my roots. Yeah, I am drinking more.
Ayla
I have been up most of the night writing and rewriting my list on reconnecting vs not with my wolf. You would think it would be easier, a clear answer, but it is not. I realize I am trusting Thane mo, and maybe he could keep Aramana a secret. I don’t think Kian could though. Rejecting a mate is rare, but it does happen. I feel this should be another angle I explore. I may feel differently if the bond was in place though. It would be unfair to reject him without feeling that bond. It could change my decision. My eyes are getting heavy as I start to dose in bed. Now that Thane has returned, I am sleeping better. I know, at least I think I do, that he is in the room next door. I still haven’t decided how 1 feel about the gossip surrounding him and Della. I could ask him about it, but it technically isn’t my business. I feel like if he was sleeping with her while being with me, even if it wasn’t labeled, I would still feel betrayed. If he could do that, there could be others. Kian could be right about the women at his feet. That to me would be a reason to not trust him and I just have to know if I can or not. For real,
I bring the covers up to my shoulders, attempting to snuggle in and force myself to get some rest. I am finally close to getting my brain to shut off when I hear faint talking next door. I can tell Thane is mumbling, but I don’t hear anything else. Maybe my shifter h. I don’t need to eavesdrop on his phone conversation. I close hearing is returning little. I close my eyes again and snuggle back my eyes when I hear very audible, distressed “NO” and I bolt up. Is Thane in trouble? I chew on my nails, listening a little when I hear more mumbling. I decide to get out of bed and place my ear against our adjoining door. He is very clearly rambling and distressed. His earthy pine scent has a bitter smell to it. Maybe my shifter senses are finally heightening. I don’t know if I have been able to smell him this clearly before. I can feel Aramana pushing in my mind. Maybe she is reacting to his distress. I decide to slowly turn the handle on the door. I know he said his was kept unlocked. It is time to find out.