Filed To Story: Secret Shifters Next Door Series PDF Free
I was in a parking lot, head leaning against the window, hugging myself and sobbing.
Snap
—I was back in my house, dumbly watching a pan of bacon burn to a crisp, sharp, acrid smoke wafting up to my nose.
The strange disjointedness had finally ebbed that evening, yet I couldn’t remember half the day. I’d received over two dozen texts and calls from the guys. They’d even resorted to having their ladies try to get a hold of me. Harley had left a voicemail. April and Celina had both left a few texts. Even Tate’s adopted daughters, Jordyn and Mariah, had sent me video messages asking me to call their parents.
I started crying. No idea why. I’d never been one to cry. I was not a gushy, touchy-feely guy who broke down watching
A Walk
to Remember or
Marley and Me. It was like the rejection had shattered my emotional framework.
Still exhausted beyond belief, I’d managed to write a group text to everyone who’d messaged me.
I’m fine. Thanks, guys. I’ll be at work in a couple of days. Seriously, thanks.
I’d turned over to go back to sleep. It wasn’t until my eyes were slipping closed that I realized I hadn’t eaten anything in over two days. My stomach roared, but I still slipped into unconsciousness. That time, I only slept twelve hours and woke at six in the morning.
I should have been ravenous, but I barely managed to keep down a slice of buttered toast. That alone made my stomach hurt, like I’d devoured two Thanksgiving dinners in one sitting. This was what depression was like, I reminded myself. Slowly trudging through the day, feeling like nothing mattered, like you didn’t matter.
A few days later when I finally made it into the office, it only took a second for me to realize I wasn’t looking much better than I felt.
I opened the door and stepped in. Kennedy looked up from her computer, her always-perky smile dying as soon as she laid eyes on me. “Mr. Walker? Are you okay?”
She never called me “Mr. Walker,” and that clued me in on just how bad I looked. “I’m fine, Kennedy. Where are the guys?”
“Um, I think they’re back in Miles’s office.”
“Thanks.”
I walked down the hall, feeling like my feet weighed a hundred pounds. Each step I took was slow and deliberate. When I rounded the corner and entered Miles’s office, the guys
all turned. The dismay on their faces removed any shred of doubt that I looked like myself.
“I take it I look like hell?” I said in greeting.
Steff got to his feet and walked toward me. “Bro, you look like shit. Dried-up shit.”
“I appreciate your candor,” I said, trying to sound sarcastic, but there was no fervor behind it.
“Seriously, are you okay?” Miles asked, leaning across his desk toward me.
I considered lying, but I’d been through hell with these guys. With Liam gone, they were the closest I had to brothers. My face crumpled, but thank God I didn’t start crying. “I feel like crap. Like, there’s nothing but emptiness. Hollow, you know. I’m depressed and tired, and every nerve, bone, and muscle in my body aches. I didn’t think it would be this bad.”
Tate took the seat beside me and lowered his head until we were eye to eye. “Blayne, do you know how rare fated mates are?”
I nodded. “Very rare.”
“Right. Like one in every three- or four-hundred mating pairs. Maybe even fewer. I’ve never heard of a pair of fated mates breaking up. It’s a soul-binding connection. Ava rejecting you can’t be easy. None of us could understand what you’re going through.”
“It’s rough,” I conceded. “I assumed it wouldn’t be as bad since it was a forced pairing. Like, the curse did it. It wasn’t a natural connection.”
“Yeah, but she was still chosen to be your mate. It’s hard to go against something that strong. Fate brought her to you.”
I barked a laugh. “Right. If I didn’t already have enough evidence that Fate sucks after the last year or two, this is it. Fate is no friend to us.”
The others glanced at each other, sharing a look. Steff shrugged. “I don’t know. Our lives have gone okay. Sometimes you have to trust what happens.”
I shook my head. “Screw that. I’m glad you guys found happiness, I really am. I don’t want you guys to think I’m bitter or anything. It’s only that I
know, without a doubt, that there is no place in my life for Ava.”
“Go on home, man. You don’t need to be here in this condition. Maybe things will get better in a few days,” Miles said.
As much as I wanted to argue, all I really wanted to do was crawl back into bed. I nodded as I stood. “That sounds like a good plan.”