Filed to story: Wolf Crying Mate of the Alpha by Jazz Ford
‘Astrid, I’m going to explain everything to you and I know you won’t believe me, yet, but you need to know now so you know what to expect on your birthday. No matter what I say, try and stay calm. It’s a lot to take in. The world you know is about to change,’ Ryker says, forming his words very carefully.
Too sore and too tired to argue, I keep sipping my coffee and just listen.
‘I live in what is called a pack. Every pack has an Alpha and a Luna who are the leaders of the pack. If you’re not in a pack then you’re what’s known as a rogue.’ I raise my brow and tilt my head.
‘So, because I’m not in a pack I’m a rogue?’ I ask.
‘Yes, that’s correct. But being a rogue isn’t a good thing. It makes you weaker. And you can’t just go anywhere: you need permission to go onto a pack’s territory, otherwise you could be punished by instant death by a pack member in that territory,’ he explains.
‘That’s not very nice; to kill someone for passing through,’ I say.
‘Well, rogues are generally a threat, and don’t normally have good intentions for entering other territories. That’s why,’ he explains.
‘Okay.’
‘When you turn eighteen, something very special happens to us. Our inner wolf wakes. You will be able to hear your wolf in your mind. You’ll also be able to heal very quickly and you will be able to shift into your wolf for the first time that night.’ I laugh and look around to see everyone looking very serious; they’re all serious about this. This is no lie.
My attention turns to Jim; he places his hand over mine and gives it a gentle squeeze.
‘Astrid, I know this sounds like some kind of fairy tale to you, but Alpha Ryker is telling you the truth, and you know I would never lie to you,’ Jim says, in a serious tone.
Pulling my hand away, I stand up. Ryker and Jim stand too. I look around the diner again at all the men with their serious expressions.
‘I don’t believe you. Either of you,’ I say.
‘Jim, would you like to do the honours and show her?’ Ryker asks. Jim nods and starts undressing. Disturbed that Jim is stripping his clothes off right in front of me, I close my eyes, and turn away.
‘Jim! What are you doing?’ I ask him. I hear sounds of undergarments ripping, muscles tearing and bones breaking; they’re awful sounds. I’m enlivened again with the chemistry between Ryker and I, when he gently pulls my hands down from my face with his; forcing me to watch. After no time at all, Jim’s face and body are no longer his, and he is covered in fur; he has quite literally morphed into a large brown wolf. I begin hyperventilating and go into shock from what I have witnessed.
The wolf howls and walks toward me. My ongoing screams force it to stop in its tracks.
‘Wolf. Wolf. Wolf.’ I throw random objects at Jim; anything I can get my hands on: the napkin holder, the salt, the pepper, the sugar, the ketchup, my empty mug, the jar of teaspoons from the table. I try to maintain a safe distance from him but no distance is safe when you’re stuck in a diner with a wolf.
‘It’s okay, Astrid. Take some deep breaths. I know this is a shock for you, but you need to breathe. It’s just Jim; he isn’t going to hurt you,’ Ryker says.
Bursting into tears, I sink to the ground in the corner, and hold my knees, while tears soak into the denim on my legs.
‘Ryker, please don’t let it near me,’ I say. The large wolf backs away into the kitchen out of my sight, and Ryker sits on the ground next to me.
‘I told you I never wanted to see a wolf again! Why did you do that? Why do you want me reliving my mother’s death? Why?’ I yell, before letting my head fall onto Ryker’s chest. He wraps his strong arms around me and holds me tightly. I’m instantly comforted by him and feel much calmer. His scent and his closeness console me; they feel very safe.
‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t know your mum died the day you saw the wolf. Please forgive me,’ he whispers into my hair, as he runs his fingers through it.
I’m furious with him but I desire him just as much; his arms around me make me feel a comfort I thought I’d never feel. Fireworks explode throughout my body, pressed against his so closely. I don’t ever want to leave his arms. It takes me a while, sitting in silence, to digest Jim shifting into a wolf, and to recover from the flashbacks of my mum’s death.
Jim reappears in the dining room in his clothes, looking at me with a sad and heartbroken expression. I’m too scared to make eye contact with him or to even look at him; he keeps his distance. A whole hour passes, with the memory of my mother’s death replaying over and over in my mind. Scenes from that day resound in my head, and poor Ryker has no idea what I’m reliving, as he holds me closely. No one dares make a sound or move; the only noises I hear are the birds chirping outside and a few random, intermittent knocks on the diner’s glass door because the diner is closed. Everyone feels sorry for me. I fall asleep in Ryker’s arms.
I look up to see Ryker staring down into my eyes with sadness.
‘There’s more I need to explain to you, but it can wait till tomorrow,’ he says, softly. I nod then look at the clock. It’s late! I should have been home ages ago!
Pushing myself out of Ryker’s arms, I bolt for the door to leave, impatiently turning the handle clockwise and counter-clockwise to no avail.
‘Where’s the key?’ I ask.
‘Astrid! You’re not going anywhere yet, and you sure as hell aren’t going back to that house!’ Ryker argues.
‘You said you would unlock the door when I’m ready to leave! Please, you have to let me go. He will kill me if I’m late home,’ I explain, trying to force the door open.
‘Astrid, I won’t let him lay a finger on you again. Do you hear me?’ Ryker says sternly.
‘He will hunt me down, Ryker. He will kill me if I don’t go home. He will come looking for me here,’ I argue.
‘Good. Let him come. Because it’s the last time he will ever see you,’ Ryker says.
‘What are you going to do to him? You can’t, you can’t, kill him,’ I say.
‘Why not? If I kill him now, you will never have to fear him again.’
‘I know he has hurt me Ryker, but my mother loved him. I’m the cause of her death. I don’t want to be the reason the man she loved dies too!’ I cry.
Ryker steadies my chin with his hand to make me look at him.
‘I think you should tell me what happened that day, the day your mother died,’ he says.
‘The only person I told is Dad. I don’t want to do it again.’ I look away in shame.
‘Maybe in time you’ll tell me.’ I give him a small nod.
The phone at the diner rings; we look at each other knowing it’s Dad asking why I’m not home yet. Ryker nods to Jim to answer it.
‘Yes, this is Jim’s Diner, how may I help you?’ Jim says. ‘Yes, Astrid is here. No, sorry she won’t be coming to the phone. And no, she won’t be coming home,’ he says matter-of-factly. ‘Let me repeat myself, I don’t think you got the message clear enough. Astrid is not coming back to your house again.’ And after a few moments of Jim just listening, ‘oh really? Well, after what you’ve done to Astrid, my friends and I look forward to your arrival.’ He slams the phone down and looks at Ryker; I look away. I don’t know how to feel. I have mixed feelings; I feel happy and safe knowing Jim just stood up against Dad for me. At the same time, nobody has ever stood up against Dad for me; the feeling is liberating and daunting.
‘He says he is on his way with his shotgun to come and take her home.’ I freeze at his words.
‘Ryker, I don’t want anyone to get hurt; just let me go back with him,’ I whisper.
‘No. If you go with him, it will never end. You’ll be hurt again. Or worse, killed,’ he says.
‘What happens to me isn’t your problem Ryker. I can look after myself,’ I say. Ryker lets out an angry growl.
‘It is my problem because you’re my mate!’ He shouts. We glare at each other for a moment.
‘I know you’re going to tell me tomorrow, but I want to know what a mate is right now, because there is obviously more to it than just being your girlfriend,’ I say. Ryker sighs.
‘Promise you won’t freak out.’
‘I’m not promising anything, Ryker.’
‘Maybe we should wait till tomorrow then. You have enough on your mind to process at this stage,’ he says. I slam my fist on the table.
‘I want you to tell me now Ryker!’ I yell as I sit down on the chair opposite him.
Ryker looks away before inhaling and exhaling sharply. He sits down on the chair and looks into my eyes; his eyes convey a thousand untold stories. Maybe he doesn’t know where to begin. He stretches his arms out and opens his hands.
‘Give me your hands,’ he says, with a soft smile.