Filed To Story: Pretty Poisoned Novel by Elle Mitchell
“I don’t know” Hazel starts.
“Why not?” River asks. “She’s right. It was real for us, too, and we were a family. And she’s in troubleshe’s not safe, either. We can’t leave her.”
Hazel looks between the two of us, then leans forward in her chair and sighs. “There is one person who really did care about us,” she says, lowering her voice. “We’re going to make it look like we killed ourselvesit’s not that far-fetched, right? Everyone knows bloodsluts love to kill themselves. And he’s going to help us get new identities and disappear somewhere in the Canadian wilderness.”
“Eli?” I ask.
“We could talk to him,” River says. “He’d help you, too. We wouldn’t be able to go togetherit would be too obviousbut we could be together.”
“I don’t know. I mean, how do you know they’re going to kill you? Why would they?”
“Loose ends,” Hazel says. “For fun, because that’s what they do. You’ve seen it, Teagan, haven’t you? I have.”
“Yeah,” I tell her. “I’ve seen it in Portland.”
“I saw it in Germany. This isn’t a love story, Teagan. It’s a survival story.”
“Even if they are just watching us, we can’t even get jobs, Teagan,” River says. “No one will hire me, and everywhere needs nurses. We’re almost out of moneythat’s why Hazel did the show.”
“Yep, and they made sure I knew they were there, too.”
“We’ll have to choose between air conditioning and groceries soon,” Riv adds.
“And I’ve tried everything, too,” Hazel says. “I can’t even get a job packing boxes at a warehouse or as an overnight store clerk making minimum wage. You know what I did before all of this? I worked for an airline; it was a good job. I don’t know what I was thinking. It feels like”
“A dream,” I finish. “That’s how it feels for me, too.”
But beyond that, it feels like my entire foundation has been turned upside-down to the point that everything looks and feels foreign.
“Come with us,” River says. “Fuck this place, fuck the gold-faced assholes, and fuck Declan fucking De Rossi.”
“I can’t,” I tell her. “I love youboth of youbut I can’t.”
“Why not?” she asks.
I don’t really know how to answer. It’s not that I can’t picture itI can. The three of us living in a small cabin in the Northern Canadian Rockies. A big garden, maybe a greenhouse, a couple of dogs and no wifi. River would probably take up knitting, and I’d read old booksthe really dense ones that take weeks to finish on account of the constant need to stop and translate the old English. Hazel could teach me how to cook; we’d farm honey and make our own essential oils and medicines, and in the evenings, we’d run barefoot in the woods and call it witchcraft.
And it sounds kind of perfect. Except there’s still a part of me that can’t let go, and what if they can’t find me?
“She still thinks he might come for her,” Hazel says. “That’s why.”
“Teagan ” River says, shaking her head. “No.”
I think about denying it. I open my mouth and try to do just that, but when no sound comes out, I give up. “I can’t help it,” I tell them. Tears leak from the corners of my eyes again. “I just love them so much.”
“Luca is dead, Teagan,” River says. “And Declan doesn’t love you.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Look around!” River snaps. “How can you not be? Look at what he’s done to us. Even if he did come back, how could you forgive him for what he did?”
If I were in her position, maybe I’d see things differently. But I haven’t been in reality, watching it all unfold. I’ve been sheltered from it all, unable to watch the news, unaware of what was happening outside that electric fence. And maybe more importantly, I’ve been alone. If I had someone to lean onsomeone who understoodmaybe I’d see things more clearly.
But I don’t see things clearly. I don’t see things for what they are at all. I see things that aren’t really there and ask them to hold me at night. Sometimes, they say no.
“She doesn’t want to hear it,” Hazel says. “She’s not ready. And if she’s not ready, there’s nothing we can do to save her. It’ll kill you, Teaganone way or another.”
“When will you go?” I ask.
“As soon as we can,” River says. “As soon as everything is ready.”
“How will I know if you’re safe? How will I know you made it and someone didn’t ”
Kill you. I can’t even say the words.
“You won’t,” Hazel says. “But we’re survivors. I’d bet on it.”
I smile just a little. “Yeah, I would, too.”
“We’re cockroaches,” River says. “Declan used to say that in the end, it would be the violent who survive; he was wrong. After they all kill each other, it’ll be us.”
I wonder which one I amthe killer or the cockroach. I don’t think it matters because Hazel is probably right, and I’ll be dead either way.
“And you can take solace in the knowledge that if we did die, we didn’t make it easy,” Hazel adds. “You better not make it easy on them, either.”
“I won’t.”
“Teag, I’m so sorry, but we’re expecting a visit from our lawyer in about twenty minutes,” River says. “I’d ask you to stay, but”
“It’s fine. I can’t stay anyway. Curfew, you know.”
“You’re going to regret this,” River says. “Not coming with us. You won’t be able to change your mind.”
“Probably,” I admit, shrugging as I pull myself up from the couch. “I regret a lot of things, what’s one more?”
“You’re going to miss me.”
“I already miss you.”
“Teagan ” she says, shaking her head before pulling my body into hers again. “Please take care of yourself.”
“I will,” I tell her. “I don’t regret meeting you. You saved my life, remember?”
“Of course I do,” River says.
Hazels stands and walks toward us. “Come here, Teagan,” she says.
I wrap my arms around her. Sniffling, I say, “Your hair looks pretty.”
“I fucking hate it,” she says. “It’s not meat allbut thanks. You should change yours, too, by the way.”
“I’ll consider it. Thanks for opening the door.”
“He won’t come back for you, Teagan,” River says. “He’s a liar. Promise me you won’t just wait for him, and you’ll try to live your life.”
“I won’t,” I tell her. “I’m trying. I’m looking for a job, and I’m going to my sister’s wedding in Mexico. I’m going to do normal things, go through the motions until it feels real againuntil I’m better at telling the difference again.”
“I hope it’s soon,” she says.
“Me, too.”
She hugs me one last time, kissing me softly on the lips, and I try not to cry again when she leans her forehead against mine and, looking into my eyes, says, “I love you, Teagan. Take care of yourself. Think of yourself.”
“I love you, too.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I’ll think of you, too. Both of you.”
New Book: Returned To Make Them Pay
On her wedding anniversary, Alicia is drugged and stumbles into the wrong room—straight into the arms of the powerful Caden Ward, a man rumored never to touch women. Their night of passion shocks even him, especially when he discovers she’s still a virgin after two years of marriage to Joshua Yates.