Filed To Story: Secret with Betas Daughter: Skylar Story Series
“I will not stay here, caged and restricted. I will leave at the first opportunity and you may or may not be told about it if this is how you are going to react.”
I changed my focus to the Alpha. “Alpha, may I use your gym? The Luna does not want us to go out alone, and I respect that, but I don’t want any of these guys near me right now and I have some anger to work out.”
My whole body is still shaking in anger and I need to desperately release the energy before I shift in the middle Of this office. My wolf is just as pissed as I am. She’s ready to bang their heads together. “Yes sweetheart, use it as long as you need, I will send Brett and Kyle down to check in in a little while, you may need sparring partners. | nod my head and turn to leave. “Stay put, all three of you.”
The Alpha aura was strong and suffocating, it had me stutter in my steps until I realized he Was giving me the Space from them that I needed. “Would you like me to send Sierra down in a little while as well?” “That’s fine, thank you Alpha.”
I say over my shoulder. I can’t bear to look any of them in the eye. I won’t feel bad about this.
As soon as I am through the door the explosion Of arguments from all three of them make me flinch. They can’t be that angry about me leaving. It’s not their decision, it’s mine. And just the thought of them feeling so entitled makes the lava in my veins run even hotter. Gamma Brett is waiting for me in the hallway, his blank expression tells me, he has been told of the situation and he turns as soon as he sees me and walks to the stairway that leads down the the cells and the Alpha’s personal weight room. He can’t always get to the gym that is attached to the main arena, and frankly, probably can’t get a workout in if he does go. There is always someone who wants to talk to him or aska favor of him, so he had a portion of the cells turned into a gym with weights, hanging bags and a large area for sparring. Gamma Brett lets me in with his code. “Do you want me to wrap your hands? The Alpha had a brand new bag hung that could use some breaking in.”
Like father, like son I guess. That thought just adds fuel to my flames. He gives me a little smirk. Now I know he’s aware of the whole situation and wants me to burn some of the energy before offering himself as a partner to spar with. At least he appreciates my strength and skill level. “Yes please.”
Is all I say as he walks me over to the storage rack that seems to have everything I might need to burn off the negative energy I have aimed at my friends right now. He takes my hands like Oliver has done so many times and gently wraps each of my fingers making sure the straps are secure. Once he is done he steps back towards the door and takes the position of a sentinel on guard. No words or eye contact needed, just my protector so I can disengage and fully let loose without having to spare energy on the world falling apart around me. I let the world fall away. No friends, no limitations, no bullies, no one to answer to, just me and the bag in front of me. Every possible emotion I have pent up inside goes into each and every hit, every kick more lethal than the last. I lose all sense of time and feeling. All the negative thoughts swirling in my head are released into the bag. Everything my father has ever spit out at me, every insult and false accusation from Kaley and her minions, all the self doubt that has pushed me to be better each and every day. I heard a crack a while ago, but I don ‘t stop to check for breaks in my hand. The pain just fuels the anger more. Pain is a weakness and I am tired of feeling weak, being treated like I am weak, seen as being weak Even my wolf is giving me space. She hates that we are fighting with the guys, she wants her pack, needs them, but she has always understood what I want and need. She hates being stifled by them too. She will not fight me when I choose to leave and further my training. Whether my mate is here or not this is a decision I have to be able to make. Training has really been the only thing I have ever had control over, that will not change now. I will never let anyone take this physical release from me. It’s my bliss, my Zen, the happy place that is attributed to no one other than me. I want to push and see what I am really made of. I know I’m not the best based on how I did in the trials. I want to be THE best, not just the best here in this pack I want to be tried and tested, battle-worn with experiences I will never get being stuck here, so I can come home and pass on the knowledge to future generations.
When all of my limbs are numb, and I can’t even lift my arms to throw punches, I sit in front Of the new bag and just stare at the hole I produced. The bowels of stuffing and sand spilling out onto the floor in front of me. I don’t even know when it broke. I just stare and cry, let the emotional exhaustion take over, and a sick, twisted part of me hopes they feel it. Feel it to their core and it brings them to their knees. I want them to feel the pain and heartache that they have contributed to, unconscious or not. At some point the weariness must have taken over, because the next thing I know, my eyes are fluttering open to the sounds of voices. Angry, but whispering voices. I strain to listen while I take in my surroundings. “She has broken every bone in both her hands.. White walls, my bedroom walls are white right? “How is that even possible, she wasn’t down there that long?” These sheets are scratchy, definitely not mine. “She punched a hole straight through the brand new bag! It’s one hundred percent possible. I don’t recognize the smell, I’m not in one of the guys rooms either. I wish these people would shut up, I’m exhausted. There are stress fractures in both forearms and in her lower legs that have already begun to heal. She is severely malnourished too, but that is probably a result of her level of training and participating in the trials and not replenishing properly. And don’t get me started on the list of old injuries that were never treated properly before she got her wolf. I try to move my arms to sit up. “Ugh!” Everything hurts, what the hell happened? Even my hair hurts. “I hear her, please can I go in?” I know that voice. Luna Ava. “Yes, Luna, but only you. We don’t want to overwhelm herwith too many people, she clearly has had plenty to deal with. It took 2 of us over an hour to catalog all of her previous injuries. What are they talking about? Who are they talking about?
“What the hell is beeping? Can someone turn that off?” Is what mumbles out of my mouth as my eyes focus. “Oh, sweet girl. You’re awake. You have no idea how happy I am to see those gray eyes.”
I blink again as I focus on Luna Ava walking over and grabbing my hand. I wince at the gentle touch. “What happened? Where am I?” “We had to bring you in when you passed out in the gym and Brett couldn’t get you to wake up.”
‘[Where is here?” I can feel my heart rate rising at the thought. “You’re in the pack hospital sweetheart. Why didn’t you tell me how bad it was?” She’s whispering, tears filling her eyes. “Howbad what was?” I try to play dumb but my slow brain is starting to connect the dots of the conversation that was going on out in the hall. “You said the bullying wasn’t that bad and you could handle it. “The beatings? The torture? Who cares? No one gives a sh*t or it would have stopped. No one in our school cares about helping anyone else, they only care about their own status and personal well being. They all just keep their heads down and don ‘t make waves, because being an inconvenience is punishable anyway the principal sees fit and anyone else paid off. People look the other way when students are missing from classes, they don’t bat an eye when injuries that have nothing to do with training show up. Why would anyone tell, when there is no one to tell?” I know she means well and she is not the real target for my anger, but she is here and she asked. I hope my voice was loud enough for the jack *sses in the hall to hear through the crack in the door. ‘We do care, there is just…”
“Nothing to go on? No proof? Concrete evidence? I raise my eyebrows at her, trying to keep my voice level, and she at least looks ashamed. “Those excuses are just more proof that not every voice is listened to with the same level of interest, if you aren’t deemed important, then no one takes a second look The only important people are the future ranked leaders, just so you are aware.”
I sit up and start to pull the IV out of my arm, wincing at the pain from the needle and all the bones still healing in my hands, and then peeling all the sticky pads off the various parts of my body as the monitors stac strong. Please come sit back down, we will make arrangements for you to be moved back to your room at the packhouse if you don ‘t want to stay here. Luna Ava reaches for me looking like she wants to cry.
She flinches back and I briefly feel bad for being so nasty to her, when she only wants to help, but I shake it off. I walk to the chair that has my dirty, bloodstained clothes. I drop the hospital gown, not caring who sees my scars anymore. If they want to care for me they can look at me as I am, and learn to do it without looking at me like I arn broken or with pity. I despise pity. I dress slowly , keeping every sound of pain stuffed deep in my chest. I know it ‘s punishing me to not ask for help, but this is howit has always been for me and they should see that too. going to the Beta house, to my isolated room where no one bothers me or cares about what I am doing. I’m going back to having freedom and control without having to checkin every three seconds with someone or having people follow me and force me to do things differently without a second thought or even just asking if I’m alright with the change, assuming they know what’s best for me. You think you can make me healthy? I wouldn’t even know what that is. I seeth, on a roll now, directing all my unfiltered anger out into the hallway to the guys,
Sierra, the Alpha, Gamma and Deltas. “I am broken beyond repair and I have been surviving that way for as long as I can remember. You heard the doc, irreparable damage has been done. There is nothing you can fix, cause even on my worst day I still perform better than everyone in that hallway pretending to care about me, while overlooking everything that has ever been wrong with me. I will heal myself, by myself, it just works better that way. I’m sorry Luna, I just can’t do this anymore, it hurts too much. My voice is raspy and my throat hurts but I continue to speak. “Maybe somewhere everyone has a soft spot for the small, spare beta The one her father can’t even stand to look at Or be around, who TOLD the principal to punish her more because she is unworthy and could use the lesson in humility. I do not want pity love. I don’t want love that comes from feeling bad for my situation. This is me, damaged and messed up, love me like this or not at all. I can’t change for everyone else anymore. I turn my back on her and walk toward the treatment room door and find all of my so- called friends and family huddled red -eyed and grief stricken. Their eyes widened at the gruesome sight of me. Even my dad had the decency to show up and feign a look of shame. I just rolled my eyes and walked past everyone down the hallway and out the door. I ran all the way back to my house, pain shooting up my legs, not noticing or caring if people were staring at me. I let myself in the back door like always and walked the silent halls to the staircase leading to my former prison. I ascend slowly, everything about this feels wrong, but so does the thought of going to my room at the packhouse_ I don’t belong here, it doesn’t fit anymore. Like clothes that are just too small, no longer comfortable and easy, but suffocating and tight. I agree with my wolf, the packhouse is home now, but I just can ‘t be around the guys or even Sierra right now. I make it into my room and head straight for the shower to get rid of the evidence Of my self destruction. I don’t cry though, which is something new forme- I’m not sure if I am just all cried out or if the anger has finally taken over the sadness. I climb out, dry off and get dressed. The first thing I need to do is figure out how long I have been at the hospital and see if I have missed any school. All my stuff is in my room at the packhouse. Just another thing I’m going to have to deal with later. I leave my door locked and head out the window, just like old times. I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I have had to sneak out. I don’t need anyone scenting me come and go. I head straight for school taking the well worn long way through the woods. Sneaking in a back entrance that I broke a couple years ago so I had a quick escape in or out if I needed it. And I needed it on a regular basis. Now, who to talk to to get caught up on the day? Doc T. is a no go. The pack doctor is just going to send me back to the hospital and almost guaranteed to call Luna Ava. The only other person who doesn ‘t completely hate me is Mr. Lyons the history teacher. He is old and could care less about pack drama. The hallways are empty and I think it’s too early for lunches. I take all the paths that I know are blindspots for the security cameras. That will be one of the first things I fix when I get back from training, but for now I’m going to use them to my advantage. I peak around corners like a criminal just trying to make it to his classroom and not get caught sneaking into school.
I get about five feet from his door when a hand grabs my wrist. I instinctively twist and take a defensive stance ready for an attack “Relax! It’s just me. Sierra whisper yells, dodging my fist as it comes flying at her face. ‘Il told the guys you would show up here, they didn’t believe me. They are all still camped at your house trying to figure out how to get you to come out and reason with you. I go to open my mouth to argue, but she puts her whole hand on my mouth. “Stop! I don’t want to hear it and I’m not here to fight. I am not your enemy and no matter how stupid the guys are, neither are they. That’s all I am going to say about it now though. You are not going to avoid me and I will not force you to be around the guys, cause whatever this is,” she gestures at all of me, It’s bigger than any of us thought. Your trauma runs deep and you are the only person who can get yourself past that since you won’t let anyone in that far. Now, it’s Monday and we have about eight minutes before the bell will ring for second period. I already went to the packhouse and grabbed your stuff and to your locker and got everything you usually have for all classes before lunch. I talked to the school counselor and I have been moved into all of your classes, that way neither of us are alone per Luna Ava’s request. The guys might catch on by then, so I will switch everything out for you and we can make a better plan for tomorrow, cause this hiding sh*t isn ‘t going to fly past today.”
With that she handed me my overly stuffed backpack and started to walk off. “Sierra, Pm not going to come between you and the guys, I won’t make you choose. But I just can’t…”
“Stop. I told you Pm not talking about them today. You are my concern right now. I had to watch your basically dead body, covered in blood, being carried out of the basement. I watched Gamma Brett run with you to the pack hospital, barely breathing. I can’t feel your emotions like Oliver and apparently the twins, I don’t know where your mind is at, but that was the scariest f*cking thing I have ever had to go through. And we do care, I care, but I can’t help if you keep things from me. I didn’t realize getting out of here was life or death for you, but that’s how bad it is, isn’t it? You will die if you don’t get out of here.”
Tears are rolling down her cheeks. I just step up to her and pull her in for a hug. This is what I didn’t want, my needs are affecting others. This is wthy I feel stuck Like her, I’m not going to think about it though. We are here, right now, and she is on my side, apparently, no matter what I do or say. We both took a big breath in and sighed out, silently agreeing to just get through today. We walked off to second period and she filled me in on how long I was in the hospital, which was only overnight. We made it through the day uneventfully, the guys never showed up. She even helped me come up with a reasonable excuse for missing the first class. I was at the pack hospital for a training injury. Mostly the truth so I don’t feel bad about the lie and it could be verified by Doc. T. She then helped me sneak food into my room so I don’t have to leave, but only on the promise that I wouldn’t shut her out and I would meet her for breakfast at the diner tomorrow. She only stayed for a little while after that. Sam started blowing up her phone and I kept reminding her that I wasn’t going to come between her friendships with the guys even though mine were imploding around “What do you want me to say to them? You know they are going to smell you on me and ask questions.”
“Just tell them that you were right and I did show up at school. You understand me better than they do.”
I shrug. She just rolls her eyes, but doesn’t argue either. “DO I really have to go out the window?” “I don ‘t want them to know I can come and go even if they are playing at being guards at my door. They can’t Imow you were here. So yes, out the window it is.”
I sat on my bed in the quiet and got the little homework I had left done and then laid down to read a book in the silence of my childhood bedroom. All pack members 15 and older, with their wolf, will begin running patrol shifts effective immediately. We have a potential threat on our hands and our leadership council has decided training for all is vital for pack safety. You will get your schedule at your regularly scheduled training session tomorrow. Any students, this will not affect your studies. Alpha Lucas mindlinks the pack
That’s strange, I thought he wasn’t going to say anything to the pack until he actually had something to tell. My wolf questions. Maybe news from the Alpha King set him off. We aren’t in the pack house so we aren’t privileged to that info anymore. Or he just thinks it’s a good idea to be prepared. I mean, it’s the reason we train pups so early, isn’t it? She has a point. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow. Are you sure you’re okay with this? Being away from the guys and all. You are getting so strong, I don ‘t want the separation to harm you too. I have a feeling it will be alright and we are still close enough that I can talk to their wolves, they really aren’t that far away. That’s enough for now. When you all are done being emotional humans let me know and we’ll set things right. I just roll my eyes. Goodnight. Goodnight. Luna Ava said to tell you goodnight as well and your room will always be available and waiting for you. I just smiled. We got up early the next day feeling a little better. My stomach is still in knots at the thought of staying away from the guys, like I’m physically not well, but I push past that so I can focus on getting out of here. I force myself to eat a few of the protein bars I stashed along with a bottle of water. Mateo and Oliver stayed by my door last night. They might have even slept against it with how strong their scents were wafting under it. I will say the scent was calming and I had a calm dreamless sleep. They get points for perseverance that’s for sure, but I have to keep my mind on my goal. My goal is to get trained to be the best warrior I can be for my pack I can ‘t let my, as my wolf calls them, ‘human emotions get in the way of that. I can feel it in my bones, that I need to go do this, more than I need them by my side at this moment. I packa bag with a change of clothes so I don’t have to leave the training arena after we are done. I will just shower and change there, again like old times. As soon as I have everything I will need for the day, I head out my trusty window, making sure to take a good look around to make sure the coast is clear. They aren’t stupid and will figure out what Pm doing sooner rather than later. But I will use my advantage for now. I know Sierra said I was her priority, but she may think telling the guys I can sneak out would be helping me. So I am treating everything as if I can only trust myself and my wolf implicitly. We make it out okay and head toward the diner, Sierra met me outside and we headed to a table in the complete opposite corner of where the guys normally go. A fact Martha was quick to point out. “We just needed some girl time and didn ‘t want them hounding us about being here without them. So we’d rather leave our scents way over here and hope they don ‘t notice if they do come in. Sierra says easily and I don’t know if Martha buys it or just decides to go with it. She brings everything out in to go containers and a wink “Luna Ava gave me a heads up and you have about three minutes to clear out. Enjoy your day ladies!” She is way too cheerful about this sneaking around thing than she should be. “Wait! How much do we owe you?” I ask, confused. “I told you. You eat for free! I haven’t had this much fun in so long. The looks on those boys’ faces when they think they know wthat’s what and either of you put them in their places is so entertaining, it’s worth it. Now go out the back I think” She winks again and we laugh as we take off. When we get to the training arena a note on the outside gate says training has been postponed today while the warriors are in planning meetings so we head off to find a place to eat our breakfast in peace while we wait for school to start. We were not as lucky in our avoidance tactics at school. The guys came and were in all their broody glory, snapping at anyone who got in their way. They caught up with us and walked wordlessly to each class we had together and managed, somehow, to be even angrier when they realized that Sierra was no longer in their classes if I wasn’t. We didn’t approach the subject of why none of us were talking and I only interacted if and when absolutely required for class. Sierra and I were leaving English, one of the few classes the guys aren’t in. “I officially hate you for how smart you are, just so you are aware. How do you even understand what she is saying? It’s English, it’s not supposed to be that hard.”
Sierra groans. “You are going to have to do my homework for the rest of the year if I stay in that class. I’m pretty sure that one is for seniors.
I giggle at her, but my amusement doesn’t last long as We walk into the lunchroom. Sam walks straight to us, but doesn’t make eye contact with me.
“We all need to report to dad after school, all warriors fifteen and older are going to start running patrols. He wants to pair underage warriors with seasoned warriors so we can all learn the routes and procedures. Ride with us or don’t, it’s up to you, but we’re all going to the same place.”
Sam huffs at both of us, still not looking at me, before heading off to get lunch. The rest of the guys stand in the hallway a little longer just staring at us, then they all walk away as well. “Well they must really be pissed at me if Sam is the one giving the cold shoulder. You should go sit with them, you both do not deserve to be caught up in the BS between the twins, Oliver and I. I swear I will be okay on my own for a little bit. I promise I will even sit close enough for you to keep an eye on me. I look at Sierra, who’s staring longingly at Sam’s retreating back I walk away, not waiting for her to respond, to a corner table no one is occupying, my appetite is lost after realizing what my behavior is doing to my friends’ relationship. This time I can’t just give in when they say sorry though. Their opinion won ‘t change, but neither will mine. It’s nice and quiet over here. Most people don’t like it because it is tucked into a corner, you cannot see a portion of the lunch room and, more importantly, you can’t be seen. I can keep Sierra in my sights, which means she can see me, so Pm technically not alone. I pull out a book from our strategies class. We are working through wars that have happened in the last hundred years and analyzing why they started in the first place, what ultimately ended them and how each side was either successful or failed. Our teacher also posed the question of should they have started in the first place? I was so caught up in a war that Alpha King Reggie’s grandfather fought in, I didn’t see my brother sneak up on me. Another downside to this corner is the AC unit blowing across my head making me upwind, I didn’t smell him coming up behind me either. “You need to see this from our side, Shorty. Wecan’t protect you if you go away and we don’t know who you’ll be with or what they are going to do with you and that scares the sh*t out of all of us.”
I didn ‘t look up from my book. “I will accept your position…”
He took a deep breath in, sighed it out loudly and relaxed next to me, but I wasn’t finished. When you all accept my position. You do not NEED to protect me. Pm sure in our short time together you have all at least figured that out. As far as who I will be hanging around with, get over yourselves. Do I need to remind you that until Sierra came, none of you gave two sh*ts what happened to me, or who I was with. So find a new excuse for your behavior. Just because you care now doesn’t change that. I am doing my best to not hold that against you, but it’s hard when your archaic misogynistic sides come out in all their flying colors.”
“That’s not fair, you never said anything, never asked for help, never complained. Had you said something we would have stepped in sooner.”
I take a deep calming breath, I cannot lose my temper here. “Did you just say it’s my fault that dad treated me the way he did? Pawned me off on a nanny who wasn’t allowed to do more than feed me and get me to school. Or that getting bullied was my fault? What happens to me now, I will fully own, it is my choice to take the burdens of those younger and weaker than me, but not originally. You did not take notice and I won’t let you put that blame on rne_ I am full on glaring at him now. “I’m not going to let you make me feel guilty for how you feel now. “That’s not what I said., and you know it.”
“That’s exactly what you just said! At least I know how you really feel. It won’t matter howmany times I beat you and the guys, you all think you are better than me and that I need you and can’t survive life without you. Thank you for clarifying Mateo, excuse me, I have class to get to.”
I shoved everything in my bag and got up to leave. I wasn’t waiting for anyone to catch up with me. I got to our Health and healing class and made my way to the backof the room in the corner, hoping that people would sit around me and none of them could come near me. I was not lucky enough though, no one was going to mess with the guys looking the way they did when they came in the room. Sierra sat next to me, Oliver in front of me, Mateo diagonal, and Sam, Kota and Cam finished out the back row next to Sierra. Again we all only speak when necessary, but you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. If this keeps up, I may go to the Luna and see if I can just finish my classes remotely. This is ridiculous.
New Book: Returned To Make Them Pay
On her wedding anniversary, Alicia is drugged and stumbles into the wrong room—straight into the arms of the powerful Caden Ward, a man rumored never to touch women. Their night of passion shocks even him, especially when he discovers she’s still a virgin after two years of marriage to Joshua Yates.