Filed To Story: In the Shadow of the Past Luna (Lily & James)
“You have thought about this for seven years and you want me to make a decision about cutting off my family in thirty minutes?”
She took a deep breath. “Yes.”
I sunk down in a chair.
“Jenny, I know that what Stephanie did was wrong. I know she hurt you. Both of us. But you are asking for something I do not know that I can give you. I love my parents. You cannot ask me to cut them off.
Stephanie did what she did and if she can be redeemed. She is my sister for Goddess’ sake. What your are asking isn’t fair. And… you hurt me too.”
She frowned. “I know.”
I ran my hands through my hair again. “Where will you go?”
“I heard Australia is nice. I will start there. And once I am settled, I will call you and we can make arrangements for the rejection.”
“You are really serious about this?”
“Yes.”
Jenny came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Bye, Nick.”
With that, she left, taking her suitcase with her.
And with that, I finally let out all of the tears that I had been holding back.
(Beta Robert POV)
Losing my daughter, Stephanie, was one of the hardest things that has ever happened to me. Her death.
almost killed my mate, and it almost killed me too. No parent should ever have to deal with the loss of his or her pup.
Did I sleep with Sheila? Yes. I am not proud of it. But I needed comfort. Margie was obsessed with
Stephanie’s death. Everything in Margie’s mind revolved around Stephanie and her own feelings of loss. I got ignored. My feelings got ignored. My pain got ignored.
I started volunteering to go on even more business trips than normal. Business trips have always been my way of escaping, and of taking a break. I could not spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week comforting
Margie. Even before Stephanie died, Margie was always upset about something. I needed time for myself too.
One day not that long ago, Sheila showed up at one of the hotels that I was staying at. She invited me to go and have a drink with her. It seemed innocent enough, so I agreed. We had a couple of drinks, and she asked me how I was. She asked me about me. It felt nice. It had been a long time since anyone had asked me about me. I was always the one taking care of Margie; not the other way around.
fit.
One thing led to another. I am not proud of it. Sheila is less than half my age, and she has gotten around. a lot. I had had a few drinks, but I was not drunk and I was not drugged. I was just sad and lonely. And
Sheila made me feel good.
When I got home from my trip a few days later, Margie asked me if I had had a good time. I knew exactly what she was referring to. I felt awful. But, I also knew that she would forgive me. She had before. 1
I know you have already heard about what happened with Tyler. The piece of that story that even Luna Jane does not know is that I succumbed to the pressure my family put on me; I slept with one of the she- wolves that my parents picked for me. I was desperate to prove that I was not the problem; that I could produce an heir. So I slept with another she-wolf. Just once. It happened in between Tyler and Stephanie. Again, I was in mourning. Margie was so focused on her own pain that she did not care about mine.
Thankfully, the she-wolf I slept with did not get pregnant, but Margie did and just a few weeks later. I never cheated again. Until Sheila, that is.
I am not trying to justify what I did. I regret it immensely. Most wolves never cheat on their mates, and I cheated on mine twice. It is because of the guilt that I felt that I allowed Margie to spin out of control.
Yes, I know Margie has done some bad things. Okay, a lot of bad things. And I know that her obsession
I also know that James has been drawn to my youngest daughter for a long time. It was not a surprise to me that James’ mate was actually Lily not Stephanie. I may have said otherwise when Nick brought it up, but I was lying to him and to myself. I never would have forced James to marry Lily, but a part of me had secretly wondered for a long time whether the two of them were mates. I just never said anything because it would have devastated Margie.
Despite everything that Margie has done, she is my mate. I love her. She has forgiven me for the ways. that I have wronged her, I owe it to her to forgive her for the ways that she has messed up too. Especially when my own actions led to her being the way that she is.
When she got pregnant with Stephanie, I encouraged her obsession with the pregnancy. I also encouraged every fantasy and dream that Margie had associated with Stephanie. Even the crazy ones.
Even the ones that hurt other people.
I love my youngest daughter, but Lily does not need me. She is strong; she always has been. Even when Margie was beating her yes, I was aware of at least some of it- she kept her head held high. Even when others bullied her yes, I was aware of that too- she persevered.
Now, at the time, I told myself Lily’s pain was acceptable because she deserved it… but even then a small voice inside me knew that it was wrong: I knew I should blame myself for Stephanie’s death at least as much as I blamed Lily.
What was it like to find out that Stephanie was actually alive? That her death had been faked by my daughter-in-law after Stephanie tried to fake her own kidnapping? That the guilt that I had felt was misplaced? That the anger I had felt towards Lily was unjustified?
I do not know. I really do not know. I am still in shock.
My mate is happy. She is already telling people that James and Stephanie are second-chance mates.
She has absolutely no reason to think that, but I suppose it allows her to save face with the community.
Am I really in a position to deny it? After all, the more Margie focuses on Stephanie, and on the idea of
Stephanie and James being mated, the less Margie will focus on my recent affair with Sheila. And the fact that Sheila is likely carrying my pup.
Plus, I have bigger problems to worry about than whether James and Stephanie are mates. The werewolf council heard everything that Stephanie, Sheila, and Jenny talked about. Nothing they said implicated Alpha Randall and I, but their argument definitely raised a lot of serious concerns. Council members have already said that they plan to stick around the pack for the next few weeks to make sure that everything is running appropriately.
They have placed Stephanie and Sheila on house arrest, and they are asking questions about elders in the care homes who may have been abused. They also want to know whether it is true that my son was
I know Margie is going to fight back against Stephanie receiving any type of punishment, but I do not know how much leverage she or I really have.
Am I glad that Stephanie is alive? Of course I am. But what does this mean for Lily? What does this mean for the life that I have built with my mate? What does this mean for any of us?
How do I feel about everything I heard?
Numb.
I feel numb.
And scared. As a beta wolf, I am not scared of anything. But today? Today I am scared.
(Lily POV)
After the phone call with James, I had another small panic attack. James was on his way here. Was I ready for that? For whatever that would mean?
I left Black Moon so that I could be on my own and independent for a while. I had quickly come to love it in Ravenswood, and even in the short time I have been here, I have found myself growing as a person and as a she-wolf. Coming here was absolutely the right decision for me.
With James on his way, what would happen to the life that I have started to build? What would James want and expect with respect to our relationship? Would he expect me to give up my independence now that there is a new safety threat?
Truthfully, I have come to really enjoy the last couple of weeks of daily phone calls and text messages with James. Being able to develop a friendship with him, while physically separated by a long distance, has made me feel more comfortable than I probably would have been had we tried to do that while living in the same town or same pack.
Was I ready to take things beyond friendship? Was I willing to work on repairing our bond? Was I ready to trust him?
“You already trust him, Lily,”
Rose pointed out. “I did not encourage you to tell him about your panic attacks, about Stephanie being alive, or about anything else you told him. You did those things on your own. Old Lily would never have dreamed of sharing information with Old James, much less important information. New Lily did not hesitate to share with New James.”
Okay, fair point.
But… hardly any time had passed. Time heals all wounds, right? Had enough time passed to heal all of our wounds? Or was James coming here going to make things complicated again? What about Brady? I really did not want to be part of a love triangle again.
“Sometimes it is not the amount of time that passes, but what happens in the time we have. A lot has changed for both you and James in a very short period of time. I do not see your heart being conflicted anymore. I still see fear, but even that is diminishing.”
a
I sighed. Sometimes Rose is more of an older sister than a wolf. It can be annoying at times.
“But you love me.”
“Yes, I do love you, Rose. But let me panic in peace, please. I need to get it out of my system.”
“You know, Old Lily never would have been able to talk things out or panic peacefully. And Old Lily may have even been on a plane to Antarctica right now, instead of waiting for James to get here. Tonight’s panic attack has been pretty boring if you ask me.”
I rolled my eyes. “Out of my thoughts, Rose.”
Rose sent me a visual of her sticking her wolf tongue out at me. I laughed.
Several hours later, at around six in the morning, I heard James knock on my apartment door. (He had texted when he landed asking for my address.)
New Book: Veiled Desires of the Alpha King Novel
Dayson was the alpha of the largest pack in North America. Powerful figures from other packs sought to offer gorgeous girls as potential mates for Dayson. He steadfastly rejected these advances, he was not a pawn to be manipulated. But eventually there came a mysterious girl he could hardly say No. Who was she?