Filed To Story: In the Shadow of the Past Luna (Lily & James)
I rubbed my temples. “Where are the videos now?”
“Dr. Hyder has them. He is ready to turn them over to the werewolf council at a moment’s notice.”
“You are telling me that all of this was going on -she-wolves being trafficked; Lily being badly and horribly abused; and Stephanie and Sheila using the mate bond as some sort of sick a&& experiment- and my parents KNEW this the whole time?!?!?”
a Dr. Miller shook his head. “No, I told you before. I do not think your parents have any clue about most of known. But they did not know, in large part because they did not want to know. They chose to trust Margie with everything. Questioning or challenging Margie was not something they were willing to do, and it was not something they were willing to let others do. Even when there were clues that things were not right, they chose to bury their heads in the sand and look the other way.”
“Tyler,”
I whispered to myself and to Luke. “All of this keeps coming right back to Tyler.”
Had the Tyler incident never happened, would Margie have ever been empowered to do what she did? Would all of these wolves ever been hurt? Or would my father have stepped up like he should have from the beginning and stopped everything from day one? “This is too evil to be explained just by Tyler, James,”
Luke linked me. “This runs deeper than just Tyler. It has to.”
***END OF FLASHBACK*** The hatred I felt towards my parents right now was unmatched. There was no longer any doubt in my mind that they were unfit to run this pack, and they had not been fit to run this pack for many years. A plan slowly formed in my head. It would take careful planning, but I cannot think of anything I want more than to take Margie, Sheila, and my parents down. J Lady Gwen Author With this chapter, I will go and bide now. I am scared to read the comments. I hate the last few chapters probably as much as you do, even though this is where the story has been building for weeks. Two more chapters will go up soon; they are from Lily’s POV. We are done with the evil horrible awful stuff.
(Lily POV) I had just fallen asleep when I heard my phone buzz a couple of times. There were very few people who had my phone number -basically, my bosses, my new co-workers, a couple of new friends, and James- so I knew I should probably get up and check the messages, just in case they were important. Groaning, I got out of bed and walked over to the desk where my phone was plugged in. (I was not used to having a phone, so I had not yet realized how useful it could be to plug the phone into an outlet near my nightstand.) The incoming messages were from James. I smiled to myself as I opened the messages and quickly read them. Unfortunately, my smile soon faded. Two things immediately stood out to me. First, it was clear to me that James was in pain. That worried I felt myself begin to panic as I read and re-read the messages. “I love you, Lily Brogan.”
Despite everything else that James said, those were the words that stood out to me the most, and I could not help but read the words over and over and over again. “I love you, Lily Brogan.”
Wow. I had not expected that to be what James texted me. “Why do you seem like you are panicking, Lily?”
Rose asked me in our link. “Because I am panicking, Rose.”
“But James is our mate. He is supposed to love us.”
“It is too fast.”
“Not for werewolves,”
Rose protested. “It is too fast for me.”
Rose did not say anything in response to that. She knew that the James/ Luke issue was one that we continued to have slightly different perspectives about. Rose already loved Luke. She liked Kalen a lot too, but for her Luke would always be her mate. If it were up to her, we would not be moving back to West Mountain-she agrees it is not safe for us yet- but we would be s staying close enough to the pack to see James and Luke as often as possible. My perspective was a little bit different. I admit that I feel drawn to James. I also admit that I really liked the side of him that I saw in Hawail, and the side of him he reminded me he was when we were kids. I have missed James since we left Hawail, and a huge part of me wants to blow caution to the wind and jump into his arms. Heck, I picked Ravenswood because it made me feel closer to James. But even so, a bigger part of me knows that I need more time. James hurt me a lot, over a long period of time. James has changed, and I have forgiven him, and it hurts me that he is clearly upset and in pain tonight…. but I still need time to heal. More than that, I need time to grow up and discover who I am and what I want. Does that make me selfish? Maybe. But if I cannot be selfish at 20 years old, when will I be able to be? Shouldn’t James need some time too? Surely he cannot go 26 years of his life thinking and feeling one way and be ready to jump in with both feet after just a couple of months? Or can he? Taking a deep breath, I tried to think through things logically and calmly. The past several years forced me to grow up really quickly. As a result, I have grown more mature than a lot of other 20-year-old she-wolves. At the same time, I am also a lot more immature. I know that those two sentiments seem to contradict each other, but it makes sense if you think about it. Instead of using my teenage years to learn how to deal with hormones, friendships, emotions, and relationships, I spent my pre-teen and teenage years largely in survival mode. I was more focused on figuring out where my next meal was going to come from and how to avoid abuse and bullying than I was anything else. At the end, I walked away from West Mountain with a ton of life skills, but also a lack of knowledge on how to be in a relationship and how to manage my hormone and emotions. Before I commit myself to my mate or anyone else, I want to figure some of those things out.
You might be wondering why my time at Red River and Black Moon was not enough to heal me. If you had asked me that question before I left for Hawaii, I would have wondered that too. But the day that I wrote Brady that letter and left Black Moon, I had an epiphany. Being at Red River and Black Moon was wonderful, and I appreciate how much the Hyders and both packs did for me. At the same time, the Hyders often treated me more like “Lily-the-she-wolf-who-was- abused-and-who-is-in -da nger”
than just “Lily.”
I am not trying to be ungrateful. I miss the packs and all three of the Hyders a lot. It is just that, now that I have been on my own for a few weeks, it feels nice to be around people who do not know my story and who do not feel sorry for me all the time. (No one at the Wolf Packers has asked me my story; they have an strict but unwritten “only tell your story when you are ready”
policy.) It also feels nice to be the one helping instead of the one being helped. In a strange way, I feel like being away from West Mountain, Red River, and Black Moon means that – instead of my circumstances defining who I am- I finally have a chance to define myself. It feels freeing and exciting. And it means I can finally learn the lessons that I should have learned before I turned 20 and met my mate. Which brings me back to James. And his declaration of love. I miss him, but I am not ready for that. I hurt that he is hurting, but am I ready to be his cure? Did I lead James on when I reached out to him? Rose really had been whining for Luke every day… and then I was in a position to get the baseball jersey and framed photo that I knew James would like….. and I really did miss James… and I thought it could not do any harm to send him my phone number… and there was nothing wrong with being friends with him… But did acting on the desire to stay in touch with James somehow lead him on? Did I wrongly him think that I am ready for a commitment that I am not actually ready for? One of the reasons that I left Black Moon was to avoid hurting James and Brady while I worked through my feelings. By reaching out to James and sending him those gifts, did I just complicate things for everyone in spite of myself? “LILY, STOP!”
Rose yelled at me through the link. “Lily, I think you are overthinking things again,”
Rose told me gently once I paused my ranting. “Read his text messages again. He is regretting his behavior in the past. He is hurting. He wants to earn your “But, Rose…. “His text messages were about him, not you. He is acknowledging that you are not there yet. He is not reading too much into things, Lily. He is just telling you how he feels. And he is trying to grow up himself. That is a good thing. He is doing the same thing you are doing. He is just getting there a little faster.”
I thought for a moment. Rose’s perspective, as usual, had some merit. Acknowledging that did not make me any less scared, but it did make me panic a little bit less. I just hoped she was right. Taking a deep breath, I looked at the phone for another minute -just in case James might send me something else- and then decided to go back to bed. I have a long day tomorrow. I laid under my blanket for a few minutes, staring at the desk. “Rose?”
“Go ahead, Lily.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Lily. I have been sure for a while. You were the one panicking.”
I got up and grabbed my phone. Before I could change my mind, I quickly typed out a text and hit send. Me: “Sure, let’s talk by phone tomorrow. Can I call you? If so, what time is best?”
There. I did it. Now, time to sleep.
(James POV) I arrived back at the packhouse around 9:30 in the morning. Unsurprisingly, my mother and Margie were waiting for me in the front sitting room. I walked right by the two of them, intent on heading straight to my room in the alpha suite. I was not in the mood for a confrontation right now. Of course, they had different plans. They stood and hurriedly blocked my path to the staircase. “Where have you been?”
my mother demanded. “Good morning to you too, Mother,”
I responded, trying to keep my tone as casual as possible. “And good morning to you as well, Margle. Margie glared at me. “Where have you been, James?”
she asked coldly. I shrugged. “Out and about.”
“Where?”
she repeated. “Oh, you know. Here and there. Trying to find out how many other she-wolves I can impregnate without sleeping with them. I figure two is just child’s play. I need to beef it up to at least three or four pups by spring, don’t you think? And then by summer perhaps I can aim to have my own personal basketball team.”
“James!”
my mother gasped. “That is not funny!”
“What’s wrong, Mother? Are you worried that you will make an even worse grandmother than mother?”
I taunted. My mother recoiled as though I had hit her. I saw the hurt flash through her eyes. Good. Margie, as usual, was oblivious to my mother’s reaction. “If Stephanie was still alive, she would never approve of you whoring yourself out,”
Margie stated angrily. Wow, really? Knowing what I know now, Margie sounds even denser than she has sounded in the past. “Oh, right. I am so sorry, Margie. I completely forgot. Stephanie, the saint, the virgin, the respecter of all things sacred and true.”
I rolled my eyes, making sure both Margie and my mother saw me do so. “How boring.”
Margie reached out and slapped me, hard. I rubbed my cheek and smirked. Margie has definitely gotten bolder in the past two months. I hope she enjoys her power while she still can. “Margie!”
my mother exclaimed. Margie turned and glared at my mother. “Are you okay with your son talking to us like that, Jane? Are you okay with him talking that way about Stephanie?!?!”
“No, of course not, Margie. But you cannot just slap him!”
“I can’t?”
Margie asked sarcastically. My mother did not say anything. She just looked down. Once again, wow. They really are dropping all pretenses now. If I was not so angry, I would find it quite fascinating to watch. Margie turned back to me. “I will ask you one more time, James. Where were you last night? And be specific,”
Margie demanded. “Why do you care so much, Margie? Are you scared that Sheila, your substitute Stephanie, isn’t really pregnant? Would it make you feel better if I went ahead and f&&ked her in front of you, right here in this sitting room, just to be safe?”
Margie lifted her hand to slap me again. I lifted my hands in mock surrender. “Relax, Margie. I am just playing with you. My father told me that I needed to work out the Mary Beth problem so that Sheila and I can get married, so that is what I did. I went to Joey’s house to talk to him about it and call Mary Beth.”
Margie dropped her hand to her side. I could literally see her ears perk up in excitement. That was fast. “And?”
“And it turns out that we have nothing to worry about. My sperm is not as potent as Joey feared. It was all a misunderstanding. Mary Beth is not pregnant with my pup.”
Margie smiled a big, genuine smile. “Really?”
she squealed. “Really.”
My mother and Margie exchanged looks. “Does this mean that you will now agree to marry Sheila?”
my mother asked nervously. I debated for a moment how to respond to her question. I knew they would never believe me if I simply agreed. “Not in a million years, Mother.”
My mother’s face fell. “However,”
I continued, “it seems my agreement is not quite necessary anymore, now is it? It seems that you, Father, and Margie have decided for me, no? Nick too?”
My mother glanced at Margle. “Do not look at her, Mother. Look at me. If you are going to force me into a marriage that I do not want, the least you can do is look me in the eye. at turned My mother looked back at me, and I saw the hope beginning to form in her eyes. It was a look that stomach. Here she was, selling her own son out to appease her 27-year-old guilt, and she dared to look HOPEFUL. I had to bite my tongue to prevent myself from calling her the litany of inappropriate names running through my head. “James, I I shook my head. “Save it, Mother. I hope you and Margie enjoy the wedding planning process. Just do not expect me to participate. I would rather put a gun to my head. Or sleep with Sheila.. I am not really sure which one would be worse, to be honest.”
“James…..”
“Whatever. Now, if the two of you do not mind, I am going to bed. I did not sleep much last night. The phone sex with Mary Beth took hours.”
The two of them ignored my phone sex comment. Apparently, they did not care about my sex life as much now that they were getting what they wanted. Margie stepped out of my way, as did my mother. As I headed up the stairs, I heard Margie excitedly tell my mother how happy she was to let Sheila know that the wedding was back “on.”
As soon as I entered the alpha suite, I noticed two things: 1) my father was not there; and 2) replacement pictures of Stephanie had already been hung up. I went to the kitchen and fumbled through a junk drawer looking for a pink highlighter. Unfortunately, I came up empty. I then checked my room, my parents’ room, and the guest rooms. Finally, tucked in one of my old school bags that had been packed away in a closet and forgotten years ago, I found what I was looking for. Armed and dangerous, I made my way back to the living room. I quickly added pink squares to each and every one of Stephanie’s pictures. Once done, I took a moment to step back and appreciate my handiwork. I realized that Dr. Miller was right; despite being subtle, the squares somehow made the Intolerable tolerable. “Does this mean that you will now agree to marry Sheila?”
my mother asked nervously. I debated for a moment how to respond to her question. I knew they would never believe me if I simply agreed. “Not in a million years, Mother.”
My mother’s face fell. “However,”
I continued, “it seems my agreement is not quite necessary anymore, now is it? It seems that you, Father, and Margie have decided for me, no? Nick too?”
My mother glanced at Margie. “Do not look at her, Mother. Look at me. If you are going to force me into a marriage that I do not want, the least you can do is look me in the eye.”
My mother looked back at me, and I saw the hope beginning to form in her eyes. It was a look that turned my stomach. Here she was, selling her own son out to appease her 27-year-old guilt, and she dared to look HOPEFUL. I had to bite my tongue to prevent myself from calling her the litany of inappropriate names running through my head. “James, I-“
I shook my head. “Save it, Mother. I hope you and Margie enjoy the wedding planning process. Just do not expect me to participate. I would rather put a gun to my head. Or sleep with Sheila.. I am not really sure which one would be worse, to be honest.”
New Book: Veiled Desires of the Alpha King Novel
Dayson was the alpha of the largest pack in North America. Powerful figures from other packs sought to offer gorgeous girls as potential mates for Dayson. He steadfastly rejected these advances, he was not a pawn to be manipulated. But eventually there came a mysterious girl he could hardly say No. Who was she?