Filed To Story: In the Shadow of the Past Luna (Lily & James)
Dr. Miller finished for me. “Yeah.”
“Lily is special in more ways than one. Her wolf, Rose, is one of a kind. I did not realize just how special until Jessica here told me about the symbol on Rose’s rump, and until Jessica and I did some research.”
“You met Rose?”
I asked Jessica, surprised. I started to feel embarrassed that Lily was my mate, and yet I had never seen her wolf. Heck, it was only recently that I was willing to even acknowledge Lily had a wolf. “Not exactly. But I saw her once, and I will never forget her.”
“Is Rose the reason that so many of the pack members feel gratitude towards Lily?”
I asked, trying to put the pieces together. “No. Rose is one of the reasons that the Movement became hopeful after the Moon Goddess paired your and Lily, but members of the movement fell in love with Lily long before that,”
Dr. Miller said. I could not help but notice the sense of pride in his voice. “But why? That is what I want to know. Lily would have been so young. What did she do?”
“When she was 12, she agreed to let Stephanie torture her in exchange for Stephanie’s promise to leave. the other wolves alone,”
Jessica replied. My heart dropped. ‘Torture? Torture how?”
END OF FLASHBACK****
I was now standing in front of the waterfall. I quietly begged my brain not to make me re-live the next parts of the meeting, in which Dr. Miller, Jessica, and Joey told me exactly what Stephanie, Sheila, and Margie had been up to, and exactly what Lily had been subjected to. I should probably clarify that not everything that was said after point that was negative; it was not. I learned a lot about Lily and Rose, and Joey, Jessica, and Dr. Miller offered many reasons to hope for a better future for everyone. However, I needed time the to process. The scars of all the bad stuff that had happened ran deep. I only heard about what happened third or fourth-hand, and yet I felt angry, murderous, and traumatized. How could Lily and the wolves who went through it first-hand survive? Clearly, they were all stronger than me. Looking around the area near the waterfall, I found a rock and sat down. I then pulled out my phone. Before I could change my mind, I sent Lily a text. Me: “I know it is late. I’just wanted to tell you that I think you are the strongest she-wolf that I have ever known. I do not know what the Moon Goddess was thinking pairing me with you. There is no way that I Me: “I love you, Lily Brogan. I do not even think I knew how much until tonight. Please do not respond yet; let me try to earn your heart before you do. Maybe we can chat by phone tomorrow? I would really love to hear your voice.”
Before Lily could respond, I turned my phone off. I then buried my head in between my legs and just sat, letting the sound of the waterfall do what it could to soothe my aching soul.
***TRIGGER WARNING: The next four chapters -especially this one and chapter 86- are going to finally reveal the worst of the bad behavior. There will be abuse of almost every kind, including child abuse, elder abuse, animal abuse, and sexual abuse. Please read with caution. After this, there will continue to be a few surprises and bumps in the road, but nothing like this. Happier moments are around the corner, I promise.*** 1 (James POV) I ended up staying at the waterfall for the rest of the night, waiting until the sun came up in the morning to head home. I fell asleep a few times, but each time I did so, I woke up after a short time after having had a vivid and unforgettable nightmare. Each of the nightmares re-lived the secrets that were revealed by Dr. Miller, Joey, and Jessica last night. After Stephanie died, nightmares had become a regular part of my sleeping experience. However, the nightmares that I had last night felt very different. In the past, my nightmares left me feeling scared, lonely, and helpless. In contrast, each of the nightmares from last night had taken away the numbness and made me feel strangely determined and empowered. T Was it the waterfall? Was it the alpha wolf in me finally taking hold? Was it Lily? I honestly could not tell you. But I can say this: I will get justice for all those that have been hurt by Margie, Stephanie, Sheila, and my parents. And not only will I find a way to bring them justice, but also I will fight to bring hem hope for a new tomorrow. I will not let their pain be in vain. 2 ****FLASHBACK*** I listened as patiently as I could while Dr. Miller detailed some of the abuse that Lily voluntarily went through at Stephanie’s hands. It was not easy. I cringed when he told me that he knew that Lily did not come to him every time something happened to her, and so there was likely much more that had happened. Hálso cringed when Dr. Miller explained that Lily was abused so often that he and Lily had an agreement that she could sneak out of the packhouse after hours and meet him at the hospital any time she needed treatment. (That was why Lily was at the hospital the night before her 14th birthday; Stephanie had abused her earlier in the day.) And then I fought back absolute rage when Dr. Miller talked about the specifics, including Lily being hissing rattlesnakes; and Stephanie burning Lily’s skin with a curling iron, a branding iron, and a regular clothes iron. Dr. Miller also described Lily being beaten, and having her fingers and toes broken one by. one. Finally, Dr. Miller described a particularly heartbreaking incident for Lily in which Stephanie held Lily down while Sheila force-fed Lily’s favorite teddy bear piece by piece down the throat of a domesticated cat that Lily had befriended in the forest. That incident did not require any medical treatment for Lily, but Lily nevertheless came to Dr. Miller afterwards. Dr. Miller said it was one of the very few times he saw Lily cry, and it was the first time that Lily voluntarily told him exactly what had happened without Dr. Miller having to basically pry the truth out of her. Even then, Lily insisted on blaming “Molly”
and “Laney as opposed to Stephanie and Sheila. Dr. Miller always knew “Molly”
and “Laney were fake names, but it was only after Stephanie died that Dr. Miller realized that Stephanie was “Molly”
and Sheila was “Laney.”
Dr. Miller also told me that he believed Lily’s tears the night of the teddy bear incident were much more about having to watch the cat suffer as opposed to the loss of her bear.
Believe it or not, I actually remember Lily’s teddy bear. He was gray and blue, and he had a plaid tuxedo vest. His name was Mr. Cuddles and Lily took him almost everywhere with her for three years. Anytime anyone would tease her about Mr. Cuddles or ask why she was carrying him around, Lily would proudly say that he was a gift from her father (which he was). Then, one day, Mr. Cuddles suddenly disappeared. I had just assumed Lily had outgrown him. How wrong I was. I truly do not know how I was able to listen to the descriptions of abuse for as long as I did. But I did, somehow. However, after listening to Dr. Miller’s narrative for over 20 minutes, neither Luke nor I could take even a second more. Acting together, Luke and I grabbed Dr. Miller by the collar and threw him up against a wall. “YOU KNEW! YOU KNEW THIS WAS GOING ON TO A LITTLE GIRL! AND YOU DID NOTHING?!!?!? HOW COULD YOU DO NOTHING?!?!?!”
“Let him go, James,”
Joey said in a strong voice. “It was Lily’s choice.”
“SHE WAS TWELVE! TWELVE YEAR OLDS DO NOT GET TO CHOOSE TO BE ABUSED!”
Dr. Miller did not try to fight back. Instead, he looked at me with shame in his eyes. “WHY AREN’T YOU SAYING ANYTHING? DEFEND YOURSELF! TELL ME WHY YOU ARE NOT EQUALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO THAT LITTLE GIRL! TO MY MATE!!!!!”
“Let him go, James, and maybe he will,”
Joey responded calmly. I let go of Dr. Miller and directed my anger to Joey. “HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM ABOUT THIS?”
I bellowed at him. “A LITTLE GIRL WAS ABUSED. IN HORRIBLE WAYS! AND NO ONE DID ANYTHING ABOUT IT! INCLUDING THE DOCTOR SHE WENT TO FOR HELP!”
Joey did not flinch. Instead, he walked over to a wall and removed a large painting, revealing multiple holes. “Do you see these? These are holes I punched through the wall the night that Jessica told me what Lily did to save my life. I had tortured and bullied Lily for years-largely at your encouragement, I should add and then one day I came home from work and told my mate about a she-wolf that tried to get onto pack territory by pretending to be Lily Brogan. My mate slapped me across the face and told me many of the stories you have already heard; many of the stories that you are about to hear; and an additional story about how that same she-wolf once saved my life even though she had every reason in the world not to do so. These holes in the wall were how I reacted. I am guessing if you went to Dr. Miller’s house, you would every single member of the movement. My point is that we have all made mistakes. What happened to Lilly and what happened to others in this pack did not happen solely because of the mistakes of any one wolf. We all made mistakes, some bigger than others, and if we had to do it all over again, I would hope that every single one of us would do something different.”
I At that moment, I could not help but assume that my rage was making me hear things. Lazy, incompetent Joey was sounding sane, rational, and intelligent. I just sat there staring at him. Finally, Joey replaced the painting and took down another. “Here,”
he said, gesturing to the empty wall where the second painting had been. “You clearly need to destroy something. I would rather it not be one of us. Punch away, and then we will tell you the rest.”
I eyed Joey suspiciously, and then looked at Dr. Miller and Jessica. They looked at me straight-faced, as though they had also been expecting my reaction. Luke sent me a visual of me beating Dr. Miller to a pulp. The visual made me smile, but I knew I could not kill him until I had all of the answers that I needed.
Seeing no other outlets to release my frustration, I punched the wall. And then I punched it again. For a full twenty minutes, I continued to punch at it. I only stopped when I saw more blood on the wall than drywall. I looked down and realized that my entire fist and all of my knuckles were solid red. I was pretty sure I had even broken bones in my hand, although I could not feel anything in that moment except numbness and rage. “Feel better?”
Joey asked, as he wiped the blood off the wall and hung the second painting back up. “No,”
I responded, still angry. Jessica came over with a wet cloth and gently wiped my hand. She then handed me ice and encouraged me to sit back down on the couch. “Are you ready to continue?”
Dr. Miller asked. I ignored his question, choosing to instead ask one of my own. “Why?”
I whisper-yelled. “Why would Lily put herself through any of that? Why not just report it? And she has a special wolf. Why not bring Rose forward and stop Stephanie? It does not make any sense!”
“She was 12,”
Dr. Miller responded. “She did not have her wolf yet. And she definitely did not have the adult maturity that would lead her to think about other options. In her mind, she did everything that she could.”
“SHE COULD HAVE TOLD ME OR MY PARENTS! OR HER FATHER! WE WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING!”
I shouted. “Would you have believed her?”
Jessica asked me coldly. “Or would you have written it off as the crazy ramblings of a 12-year-old girl?”
“Of course I would have believed her! And there would have been medical records to prove it!”
“You are lying to yourself,”
Joey said. “You never would have believed her. Stephanie and Margie would have come up with some rational explanation. Maybe they would have told you it was a bad dream; maybe they would have said that Lily did it to herself to get your attention; maybe they would have said Lily was simply helping out with Stephanie’s self-defense training and things accidentally got out of hand; maybe they would have come up with some other explanation. Whatever they would have said, do not insult us or yourself. I remember very well what you were like then, and you never would have believed it. Never.”
“Yes, I would have. I know I would have!”
“You barely believe it now,”
Joey taunted. “Your parents certainly did not believe her,”
Dr. Miller added bitterly. I turned and glared at Dr. Miller. “She told them?”
Dr. Miller shook his head. “No. I did. Lily begged me not to tell anyone what was happening. She was scared that ‘Molly’ would go back to hurting other wolves. But after the very first time I treated Lily, I chose to violate her trust and say something anyway. In retrospect, I wish I had been smart enough to realize who Molly and Laney were; had I known maybe I would have done something differently. But I did not know, and I was not thinking clearly. All I knew was that I discovered what was happening purely by accident, and I suspected it had been going on for a lot longer than I knew. I was furious, upset, and felt like I could not in good conscious allow it to continue. So I went to your parents for help.”
My heart started to pound. “What did my parents tell you?? J Lady Gwen Author What happens when Lady Gwen tries to take a day off of writing in the middle of tell-all chapters? She ends up writing anyway, and you get a multiple chapter update on her return. A total of six chapters should be going up today, Hopefully I still have readers left by the end of these chapters. LOL. I know they are a lot to take in. Enjoy! Or hate me! Either way, thanks for making it this far!
(James POV) “What did my parents tell you?”
“A version of the same thing they told me when I went to them about the others. That I needed to respect the chain of command, and that meant that any and all complaints needed to go through Beta Robert and Margie. And that the chain of command was especially important when the issue had to do with one of their daughters. So I went to Margie. However, Margie dismissed my concerns. She denied that anyone was bullying Lily, and she said that Lily was probably just exaggerating. She told me that Lily had been complaining about having to help Stephanie with Stephanie’s luna training. She assumed that Lily probably made everything up to get out of having to help any more. Margie refused to hear any details of the injuries from me; instead she told me to get out of her office and to not bother Beta Robert with the issue because Beta Robert had better things to do with his time. At the time, I did not know what else to do. So I dropped it. However, the second time I treated Lily, I tried again. I went back to your parents. They asked if I had already talked to Margie, and I confirmed that I had. I also told them what Margie said. Your parents told me that if Margie believed Lily was exaggerating, Lily probably was. I argued with them, saying that Lily could die if the abuse continued to escalate. They dismissed my concerns, saying that they trusted Margie’s judgment.”
Dr. Miller paused and rubbed his face with his hands. “The third time Lily came to me for treatment, I went to Margie first. Of course, I got the same reaction. from her, so I tried to personally locate Beta Robert. Unfortunately, he was gone on some sort of business trip. So I did the only thing I thought I could: I went back to your father and threatened to go to the werewolf council if he did not do something. Your father understandably got angry about being threatened. He told me that Lily was fine, and then alpha-ordered me not to talk to anyone about what I thought had happened to Lily up until that point. As a result, to this day, I still cannot tell you what happened the first three times I treated her. After that, I continued to treat Lily when she needed it, but I never tried to talk to the alpha or beta couples about my concerns again.”
I felt Luke getting angry at Dr. Miller again, and I was right there with him. “Alpha orders do not prevent communication with the werewolf council,”
I pointed out. Dr. Miller looked down, regret and shame clearly showing in his face. “I know. And in retrospect, I should have followed through on my threat and gone to the council. But going to the council over the objection of your alpha is not something most alphas look kindly at. Had I done it, even though we were friends, your father most likely would have banished me from the pa pack. I was upset enough about what was happening to Lily that I might have been willing to accept. banishment, but around the same time Lily was getting hurt, I was also dealing with an increasing number of patients who were struggling with betrayal pains despite having faithful partners. I was really busy trying to help those patients out too. I was reading through medical books every day, talking to other doctors, trying to figure out what was going on and how to help. I created the support group. My working hypothesis was that there was some sort of virus or medical condition that was presenting as betrayal pains when it really wasn’t.”
“So what you are saying is that you got busy and you had higher priorities than Lily?”
I asked with heavy bitterness in my tone. Dr. Miller took a deep breath. “Yes. I admit it. I dropped the ball and I was wrong. But I also really believed that Molly and Laney were just two high school bullies who would eventually get bored and move on after a while. I had no idea who they really were or how twisted the behavior really was. Lily did not tell me everything. Nor did I realize how connected everything was. If I had known I would have done everything differently. Unfortunately, by the time I found out, it was much too late.”
Dr. Miller’s explanation was doing very little to quell my anger. To prevent myself from attacking him again, I decided to ask a different question. “Was there a reason that Margie and my mother kept saying that Lily was helping Stephanie with luna training? That does not make any sense to me.”
“Because she was, Jessica responded for Dr. Miller. “What? Why?”
“Learning how to torture people she cared about was one of the skills Margie told Stephanie she needed to master if she really wanted to be like Luna Jane.”
I shook my head, trying to wrap my mind around what I was hearing. “What the f&&k are you talking about? My mother has never tortured anyone in her life.”
“Except for the whole Tyler situation,”
Luke reminded me. Sh&t. “I am just telling you what Margie said,”
Jessica said softly. “No, I was there, remember? My mother was in charge of Stephanie’s luna training, not Margie. And luna training sure as f&&k does not include classes on torture. That is the alpha’s responsibility, and even alphas hardly ever do that anymore.”
Jessica took a deep breath. “You are wrong. Your mother should have been in charge of Stephanie’s training, and she definitely did train Stephanie on various aspects of the position. That is what you saw. However, what you did not see is that Margie requested that she be able to teach Stephanie self-defense and what a luna should do in case of war. That soon became the biggest focus of Stephanie’s training. I do not know if Margie ever ended up teaching Stephanie anything having to do with self-defense and war. But I do know that Margie used the training as a cover for some of Lily’s injuries, and as a cover to teach Stephanie how to run Margie’s business and torture people that caused problems for it.”
I put my hands over my face. This story was getting crazier and crazier. A part of me kept waiting to wake up from the nightmare or have a television crew walk in and tell me it was all a joke. “What interest could Margle possibly have in Stephanie knowing how to torture? That does not make sense. “I do not know if you noticed, but something is really wrong with Margie,”
Joey said bluntly. Dr. Miller and Jessica both glared at him. “What? I am not wrong.”
“He really isn’t,”
Luke linked me. Dr. Miller sighed. “Yes, fine. I agree. Something is wrong with Margie. I do not know what exactly, but I can tell you that she has not always been this way. Growing up, she was one of the sweetest females that I knew. And when she and Beta Robert fell in love, there was nothing but happiness between them for a long while.”
“And then….”
New Book: Veiled Desires of the Alpha King Novel
Dayson was the alpha of the largest pack in North America. Powerful figures from other packs sought to offer gorgeous girls as potential mates for Dayson. He steadfastly rejected these advances, he was not a pawn to be manipulated. But eventually there came a mysterious girl he could hardly say No. Who was she?