Filed To Story: In the Shadow of the Past Luna (Lily & James)
Lily sat there staring at me, her mouth slightly open.
“Wait… why did you not just… force yourself to have sex anyway? Even if you had to think of me while you did it?”
Sh&t. I was hoping she would not ask this question.
“Tell her, James. That way I do not have to be the only one who makes fun of you for it.”
“Shut up, Luke.”
“James?”
“Having sex would require my penis cooperating. And it would not do so. I could get hard if I thought of you, but I hated doing that because you were underage most of those years and I also really did believe that your actions caused Stephanie to die. But even when I got desperate for relief and thought of you, all it took was for another female to walk into the room, and I was done. My erection never lasted.”
“So…. you are telling me that you are a virgin? What about my sister?”
I sighed.
“Yes, I am a virgin. Your sister and I never crossed that line; we had agreed to wait until the mate bond kicked in so that our first time would be extra special.
And your reaction right now is exactly why I had to keep it a secret.
I used to be really embarrassed about it, but again, now it all makes sense. It was the mate bond this whole time, and I was just too st upid to see it.”
“And now?”
“Do you mean, can I get it up now? Yes. Since I have been here in Hawaii with you, all I have to do is look at you and I’m hard. You may not have noticed how many times I have had to adjust myself today.”
“James, have you seen a doctor about this? I mean, what happens if…”
I
I swallowed hard. “What happens if I cannot convince you to come back with me? Am I prepared to die a virgin?”
Lily looked at me with embarrassed eyes. “Yes.”
“I do not plan to die a virgin, Lily. I haven’t given up hope that I can fix things somehow and bring you home.”
“But, James, we already talked about this. … I don’t know if I can ever do that.”
“I know, Lily, but I still want to try. I do not expect you to come back with me tomorrow or even next week or next month. But I do want you to give me a chance to make the pack a safe place for you again.
“But what if you can’t? Or…. what if you can and I still do feel not comfortable going back?”
“I will not force you to do anything you do not want to do, Lily.”
“
She sat down on her bed and laid back on her pillow, clearly overwhelmed. Unfortunately, that was all it took to remind me of where the conversation in this room started. I felt the sudden rage building up in me again.
I stood up.
“Lily?”
“Yes?”
“Tlied.”
She sat up. “About what part?”
“The part where I said I would not force you to do anything you do not want to do.”
“Huh?”
I went over and picked her up, throwing her over my shoulder. “You are spending the night in my room tonight. Don’t worry; there are two beds in my room and I will not try anything. I just cannot stomach you laying in a bed or on a pillow that is coated in Brady’s scent.”
“JAMES!”
she yelled, squirming.
“Sorry, Lily. But you are going to have to give me tonight.”
(Lily POV) James carries me to his hotel room, while I try-but fail- to resist. “Liar. You aren’t even trying that hard,”
Rose linked me. “He is way taller and stronger than me,”
I remind her. “How can I fight him off?”
“Um, with your alpha command?”
Rose taunts. “I don’t even know how to control that yet,”
I respond. I am only half-lying. I have not tried to use it since that first night with James and Brady at the luau. “It takes practice,”
Rose acknowledges. “And it is easier to use it when you have heightened emotions. We can work on it. The point though, is that you are not even TRYING to use it. And do not pretend that you did not wave off Brady’s security guards when they tried to intervene.”
I roll my eyes, which Rose can sense even if she cannot see them. “You must think that I am losing my mind.”
“Yes,”
Rose confirms. “I keep saying I do not want James and then I act like I do want James.”
“Yep.”
“And I say that I have forgiven him and then I lash out at him for something he did in the past.”
“Yeah, you did that too.”
“I think I was unconsciously looking for reasons to reject him again,”
I admit. “I know you were. But he was smart enough to not make it easy for you to do that.”
“For years I have cursed him out in my head as being a man-wh ore while he was telling everyone else to avoid me because I was a sl ut, but it turns out he wasn’t one. Meanwhile, I am the one of the two of us who made out with two different males in 24-hour period. Do you…. do you think that I really am a sl ut, Rose?”
Rose sighs. “You are not a sl ut, Lily. You are a 20-year-old female who is confused. You have two really hot male wolves who are competing for our love. One of those wolves has taken care of you and proven himself time and time again, and the other one is your mate. If you were not confused and changing your like you spread your legs or anything. If kissing is all it takes to earn the ‘s’ title in your mind, I worry abou our future.”
Ah, my wolf Rose. I do not know for sure, but the way she talks sometimes, I cannot help but wonder if she is a secret ny mph. Whatever male wolf we end up had better be prepared. We finally make it to James’ room. It is two floors above mine, on the far other side of the resort. He gently places me on the ground and opens the door. True to his word, there are two beds in the room. He walks over to his suitcase, pulls out a t-shirt, and hands it to me. “What is this?”
“I thought you might want something to sleep in.”
“You know, I had pajamas back in my room.”
“I am not carrying you all the way back there. That is a long walk, and you are heavy.”
James rubs his shoulder for emphasis, pretending it is sore. I glare at him, and he laughs.
“I am joking, relax. I wasn’t exactly thinking when we left your room. You do not have to wear my shirt if you do not want to, but it should be comfortable if you do. The bathroom is right over there.”
“Thank you,”
I say as I make my way to the bathroom.
I quickly change and head back into the bedroom. I find James sitting on the edge of one of the beds.
He gestures towards the other one.
“You can have that bed there. There are extra blankets and pillows in the closet over there if you need them. My mini-fridge has plenty of waters in it if you get thirsty. Room service runs 24 hours if you get hungry. Can you think of anything else you might want or need?”
I shake my head, smile, and walk over to the other bed. Just before I sit down, I decide to walk over to where James is sitting instead. I lean down and give him a quick kiss on the cheek.
“Thank you, James.”
He looks at me curiously.
“I mean it. Thank you. Today has been a lot, and I do not know what I am feeling or what the future holds for either of us, but I want you to know that I appreciate that you are trying.”
New Book: Veiled Desires of the Alpha King Novel
Dayson was the alpha of the largest pack in North America. Powerful figures from other packs sought to offer gorgeous girls as potential mates for Dayson. He steadfastly rejected these advances, he was not a pawn to be manipulated. But eventually there came a mysterious girl he could hardly say No. Who was she?