Filed To Story: In the Shadow of the Past Luna (Lily & James)
Luke cuts in. “What did you just say to her?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? TAKE IT BACK! LILY IS OUR
MATE!!!!!”
I lift my head up, and look at Lily. Her eyes are bloodshot, and I can literally feel the heartbreak emanating off of her body.
“James, if you are here because you think that I can replace Stephanie for you, you should know. I may look like Stephanie, but I am not her. Nor do I want to be.”
(James POV)
“James, if you are here because you think that I can replace Stephanie, you should know… I am not
Stephanie. Nor do I want to be.”
I look at Lily in confusion. “Is that what you think? That I am here because I want you to replace your sister?”
“Of course that is what she thinks, you a&&hole!”
Luke links me. “Tell her it is not true!!!”
“I am not her, James,”
Lily repeats.
“I know that, Lily!”
I respond, almost angrily.
“Maybe you know that now… but that day at the waterfall….”
Oh, my Goddess. I had forgotten about the waterfall. I am an even bigger idiot than I thought.
I reach out and take Lily’s hand. ‘Lily, you are my mate. I admit that I used to think that Stephanie was…. but I was wrong. We were all wrong. You are my mate. You.”
“You mean that I am your second chance mate.”
“No, Lily, I mean that you are my first mate, my true mate, my only mate. Unless you had another mate that I am unaware of, which I am pretty sure is impossible, we are first and true mates.”
Lily shakes her head. She seems to be struggling with accepting all of this. “But you loved Stephanie. I cannot compete with her, and I do not want to.”
I sigh. “I did love Stephanie. Or at least I thought I did. I can’t change that. But she is gone now, and my prior love for her does not impact how I am feeling about you right now.”
Still holding her hand, I reach over and stroke her cheek with my other hand. She immediately recoils from my touch and yanks her hand away from me.
“No, James. Do not try to use the mate bond or the sparks as a weapon against me. I am trying to be serious here.”
So she does still feel the sparks.
“The day that we rejected each other, I made some important decisions. I decided that I would no longer allow myself to live underneath Stephanie’s shadow; to be bullied and ridiculed; or to spend time with people who do not want me or care about me. Life is better for me now that I have left West Mountain. I
“You mean Brady,”
I say bitterly. “You mean you have Brady around to care about you.”
She nods. “Brady, yes. But not just Brady. Dr. Hyder and his wife have become like surrogate parents for me. And I have friends now… friends who do not look at me like I am a murderer. Friends who are not embarrassed to be seen hanging out with me. Friends who do not….”
Her voice trails off, and I cannot help but wonder what else she was going to say. Whatever it was, she drops it and looks up in the sky
“Look, James, I do not know what you expected when you came out here, but you cannot expect me to give up my new life for that hell-hole that was my old one.”
Lily’s words gut me. Was life really that bad for her at West Mountain?
“Yes, you a&&. You saw her medical records, and you know as well as I do that we have not even scratched the surface of what was really going on,”
Luke chastises me.
“Lily, I… Lily, I never…”
I cannot finish my sentence. The words escape me. I have no idea what to do to make things better. I do not know if it is even possible. Perhaps it really is too late.
I take a deep breath. I have to keep trying.
“Lily, I know that it is largely my fault that your life was the way that it was back then. I messed up. Badly. But, please, hear me when I tell you that I want to make it up to you. You are my Goddess-chosen mate, and that means something.”
“But I am not Stephanie.”
“Stop saying that. I do not want you to be her,”
I say confidently. “I want you to be you.”
Lily’s next words floor me.
“Do you know who that is?”
(Lily POV)
I hear and feel so much sincerity and regret in James‘ words that I find myself in an internal war with myself.
Part of me wants to accept the mate bond and jump into his arms. Another part of me wants to keep escaped from.
“Are you standing up for yourself or are you putting up walls?”
Rose asks me.
I sigh. I do not know. Probably both. But, after everything that has happened, I think both are perfectly justified.
I cringe when James tells me that he wants me to be me and not Stephanie. When he says it, it is almost like a light-bulb goes off in my head.
“Do you know who that is?”
He looks at me surprised. “What?”
“You said you want me to be me. Do you know who I am?”
He does not respond.
“You can’t answer that question, can you James? Not that I blame you.”
I stand up and walk towards the ocean. I take off my shoes and put my feet in the water. James follows me.
“Lily, we are not humans. Werewolves typically meet their mates and mark each other within days or even hours. It is normal for the ‘get to know you stage to come later.”
“Sure, for a normal couple. But there is nothing normal about our situation, James. You were in love with my sister for most of our lives. We have a history a painful history. We do not even have a mate bond anymore… or at least not a complete one.”
I stare at the water as it crashes against my toes. Glancing over my shoulder at him, I add, “Here you are, making a grand gesture, expecting me to believe that you really do care about me. And I want to believe you, James. You do not understand how badly my heart wants to believe you. But how can I when you do not even know me? How do I know that if I let you in, you are not going to get bored with me and flip to the next she-wolf in your line-up of quote, unquote arrangements?”
James growls. “You are nothing like those other she wolves, Lily. Do not EVER compare yourself to them.”
I turn around and smirk. “Do you mean that I am not as pretty as them? That I am not as sexy as them?
That I do not know how to satisfy a male in bed like they do?”
James grabs my face, forcing me to look in his eyes. “No. I mean that you have self-respect. I mean you care more about people than you care about some superficial, fake image that you want the world to see. And I mean I feel things for you that I have never felt with any of them, and that I have never wanted to feel for any of them.”
James lets go of my face, but he continues to stare at me. “You are right that I do not know you very well. But I know more about you than you realize. And I want to get to know you more, Lily. I really, really do. I want us to get to know one another.”
“What if you do not like what you learn about me?”
“Impossible.”
“What if I do not like what I learn about you?”
He gives me a sad smile. “Now that IS entirely possible. I do not even like who I am right now.”
“And?”
New Book: Veiled Desires of the Alpha King Novel
Dayson was the alpha of the largest pack in North America. Powerful figures from other packs sought to offer gorgeous girls as potential mates for Dayson. He steadfastly rejected these advances, he was not a pawn to be manipulated. But eventually there came a mysterious girl he could hardly say No. Who was she?