Chapter 1 – In the Shadow of the Past Luna (Lily & James)

Filed To Story: In the Shadow of the Past Luna (Lily & James)

(Lily POV)

Today is my 14th birthday.

There will not be birthday cake, singing, or a party. Instead, we are attending a funeral. My sister’s funeral, to be exact.

Before my sister… died… we had a large party planned for me. I normally do not have a big party, but 14th birthdays are a really big deal to werewolves. They are the day that we first meet our wolves. The next monumental birthday is our 20th birthday; that is when can first identify our fated mates.

I am our Beta’s youngest daughter, and my father is loved and well-respected. Everyone was excited to meet my wolf and to see what type of wolf she would be. Thus, the guest list for my party was pretty large, and it included ranked wolves from nearby packs.

I am normally a little bit of a loner, hence why I usually do not have a big birthday party. However, for this particular occasion, I was happy to have a lot of guests. Meeting your wolf comes with the first shift/ transition, and that can be incredibly painful. As inherently social creatures, the only thing known to help wolves with the pain of the first shift is to have supportive family, friends, and community around you.

The way that it typically works is that the pack will host a dinner or barbeque in your honor. As night falls, and the moon replaces the sun in the sky, everyone will gather inside the pack amphitheater. The shifter-to-be will stand in the middle of the amphitheater while guests quietly chant well wishes and prayers to the Moon Goddess. The energy in the space can be electrifying for everyone present, no matter whether there are 25 attendees or 500.

Once the first shift is completed, the new wolf will prance around the stage and strut their stuff. The crowd will “ooh”

and “aah”

until the pack alpha approaches, learns the new wolf’s name, and introduces the wolf to the crowd. The new wolf will also swear his or her allegiance to the pack and to the alpha, allowing the wolf to mind-link with other pack wolves. Finally, the new wolf and any guests old enough to shift will go for a pack run.

The whole process is incredibly special and exciting.

As you might imagine, décor is also an important part of the party planning process. Each shifter gets to decide the decorations and party theme that will be used for their party. If more than one wolf turns 14 on the same day, the wolves can either agree on a theme or split the party into parts that they can individually decorate. The pack luna will then work some sort of magic that somehow blends the individual areas into one cohesive theme in the center.

My birthday is in October, and despite how large our pack is, I am the only one born on that day. I love having an October birthday because my favorite season is fall. For my décor, I had picked flowers and decorations in rich fall colors, including deep oranges, reds, and greens.

Unfortunately, none of my party decorations will be used. Or rather, none of my decorations will be used for me.

As I mentioned, we are holding a funeral today instead. My oldest sister, Stephanie, died this morning.

Pack and religious tradition dictates that we must hold funerals within 24 hours of death. Because Stephanie died shortly after midnight, her funeral must be held today. All food and décor set aside for my birthday party was therefore immediately diverted for the funeral; thankfully my fall themed colors were sufficiently somber-ish to work.

All decorations that seemed relatively “happy,”

celebratory, or that mention me have been removed. Pictures of Stephanie have now been placed on tables and podiums, and the music I selected has been swapped out for songs about loss or Stephanie’s favorites.

The loss of Stephanie is a really big deal. Not only was she my sister and my parents’ oldest and favorite child, she was also widely anticipated to be the mate of Alpha Randall’s son, James, which meant she was most likely the future luna of our pack.

Stephanie would have turned 20 in three months, and she and James would have been able to confirm that they were mates then. The pack was so sure that they were mates —and Alpha Randall was so eager to turn the pack over to James and his mate, once she was identified and ready to take on the luna position— that they deviated from standard protocols and decided to begin Stephanie’s Luna training just after she turned 18.

If I am being completely honest, something never sat right with me about Stephanie starting Luna training. Part of it is what Stephanie’s Luna training meant for me, but that is a separate conversation. The biggest thing was that I did not understand why luna training could not wait until Stephanie turned 20 and could confirm who her mate was. Lunas for generations have waited for their training; why couldn’t Stephanie?

It also bothered me quite a bit to watch Stephanie hang all over James at pack functions. Our pack frowned upon dating and public displays of affection prior to finding your mate; it created too much risk for problems, anger, and jealousy once your mate was located.

For whatever reason, an exception was made for Stephanie. But then again, exceptions always were made for her. Stephanie was strong and absolutely beautiful, and the pack knew her as being kind, smart, and energetic. She could do no wrong in the eyes of my parents, the alpha, or the pack.

I hope I do not sound too jealous or bitter. I loved my sister, and her death is hitting me really hard. It’s just that…. I knew a different side of my sister than everyone else, and I know more than anyone that my sister was far from perfect. Had I spoken up before she died, I would have been accused of jealousy and lying. And were I to speak up now, well… I would be accused of jealousy, lying, AND improperly speaking ill of the dead.

It is easier to just let it go. Along with my birthday. It isn’t that important anyway. I do not want to be selfish or self-centered.

The only immediate problem with letting go is that -bad timing or not- I am going to shift for the first time tonight. There is nothing I can do to stop or postpone it, as much as I would like to do so. I am worried about how it is going to go.

Hopefully, during the reception, my mother or father or brother or someone will be willing to step aside with me for a 20-30 minutes just to get me through it. We could then return and act like everything is normal. Or as normal as it can be with Stephanie now gone.

Sadly, I should have known that nothing in life is that easy.

(James POV)

I watch sadly as the casket is carried from the temple to the burial grounds.

It is a cold October day, and the gray sky and drizzly weather adds to the overall somber atmosphere.

I cannot help but be impressed at how quickly the pack was able to pull everything together for Stephanie’s funeral.

All funerals happen quickly in our world, but because of how fast the funerals must take place, the décor and guest list is usually somewhat lacking. It is a testament to how much Stephanie was loved that they were able to put together so many beautiful floral arrangements in her honor, and that so many people were able to be here to honor her life, including many wolves from other packs.

If it wasn’t for it being such a horrible occasion, I would actually describe the color scheme as beautiful. Then again, fall has always been one of my favorite seasons.

I am vaguely aware that we had some other function on the calendar today, but I honestly cannot think of what it was. With a large pack —the West Mountain Pack has over 10,000 members— we have a lot of functions. As the future alpha, I am expected to attend as many of them as I possibly can, but no one expects me to remember what they all are… even if I try to pretend in the moment. Unless reminded by an Omega or my amazing girlfriend, I can’t even seem to remember my own mother and father’s birthdays most of the time.

My amazing girlfriend. I sigh, wiping a tear from my eye. She will never again be around to remind me about birthdays.

Sadly, there will be no pretending that I know what today’s ceremony is about. Stephanie Brogan was the love of my life, and she was my future mate and luna.

I still cannot believe that she is gone. We never even got to fully experience the mate bond, including the sparks and the great sex that I am told comes with it. Had she lived just three months longer, our wolves would have confirmed one another as mates and Stephanie would have been able to formally claim her proper place in my bed and in my life.

Instead of welcoming her sexy body into my bed, I am saying good-bye to her today. I am also saying good-bye to all of our future plans and dreams together. I cannot help but feel anger and resentment about that. This is not how things were supposed to be.

As I watch the funeral procession go by -my father, mother, and I, along with the beta family, must stand at the entrance as guests move from the temple to the burial grounds- I catch a glimpse of Stephanie’s younger sister, Lily. She is standing next to her mother. She looks both sad and innocent, which causes the anger in my body to rise even more. That little brat is the reason that Stephanie is dead.

FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT

Stephanie and I are cuddled on the couch in the packhouse living room watching a movie. I have my hand on her thigh and I am about to kiss her when she gets distracted by a text message. Stephanie did not let me see the message, which annoys me, but she quickly explains that Lily is lost in the forest after having snuck out to meet a boy.

Stephanie’s sister is 13 or 14 years old. She has all the teenage acne and attitude that comes along with being that young. Unlike Stephanie —who has beautiful blond hair and hazel eyes— Lily has reddish brown hair and bright green eyes. Or at least I think they are bright green; she usually has them covered up with large black glasses.

Stephanie gets up and tells me that Lily has texted her, begging her to come and find her. I am annoyed by the interruption, but I offer to go with Stephanie to get the little brat. Stephanie says Lily will be upset if anyone else knows about her little escapade. Stephanie reassures me that she will be fine, and then gives me a quick peck on the lips.

My wolf and I have a bad feeling when Stephanie leaves, but Stephanie has us wrapped around her little finger. It is almost impossible for my wolf and I to disagree with her about anything. We pause the movie and decide to get some work done in my dad’s office while we wait for Stephanie to get back. I am a night owl anyway, so I do not mind waiting.

Unfortunately, about an hour after Stephanie leaves, I get an urgent mind-link from our pack warriors. They report that the Little Brat had been spotted running out of the woods screaming for help. Before they can say much more, I shift into my wolf form and take off running.

I follow Stephanie’s scent far into the woods…. until I come to a small clearing, which is covered in Stephanie’s blood. Her torn, bloody clothes are tossed around, and chunks of her hair are thrown about as well.

It is the worst, most savage site that I have ever seen. The smell of rogues is all over, so it is fairly obvious what has happened. The a—holes didn’t even bother to leave her body.

END OF FLASHBACK

Tears threaten to continue to fall as I think back to the scene last night. I have not slept or eaten since I found what was left of Stephanie, and I am having trouble holding my emotions together.

Now that my eyes have spotted Lily, my anger with her becomes a welcome distraction. I have a very hard time looking away from her. The truth is that I have always found myself strangely curious about her, but today… today all I want to do is take my anger out on someone, and she seems as good a target as anyone else. Her stupid teenage behavior cost me my mate! And it cost this pack its future luna!

My wolf, Luke, begs me to calm down. It is an interesting thing, having the wolf side try to calm the human side. As upset and angry and emotional as I am, it is tempting to ignore him and immediately start teach that Little Brat a lesson. However, I decide to follow Luke’s advice after he reminds me that Stephanie deserves to have her funeral be all about her and not some whiny teenage brat.

That does not mean that I am going to let Lily get away with what she has done, but I wait until a more appropriate time to take my revenge.

I turn my focus back to Stephanie’s casket, which we filled with her bloody clothes, hair, and anything that could be found at the site that had her blood on it. The casket has been brought to the center of the amphitheater. The alpha and beta families take their seats in the front row, and my father and the pack priest move beside the casket to begin the ceremony.

The ceremony involves a lot of prayers, rituals, and speakers. The average ceremony takes 2-3 hours, and Stephanie’s will most likely take closer to 4-5 hours given her status in the pack and how beloved she was.

During the ceremony, I keep trying to distract myself by looking around as others around me. I do not want to be seen as weak by curling into the fetal position and wailing like a baby, even though that is the only thing I want to do right now.

My heart breaks as I glance at Stephanie’s parents next to me in the front row, holding on to one another as they cry. Seeing Stephanie’s father —a strong, powerful Beta wolf— break down is a sight I have very rarely seen. The pain in his eyes is heart-wrenching.

I also notice Stephanie’s brother, Nick, as he clings to his mate, Jenny. Both of them are crying as well. Nick is my best friend, and I have known him since we were tiny pups, but I have literally never seen him cry.

I notice that there are no dry eyes anywhere. Even my father has a few stray tears running down his cheeks, although I am sure he would kill anyone who pointed it out. He is a proud man, just like me.

As the sky continues to darken, I notice the Little Brat starting to act like she is uncomfortable in her seat. I can tell that Stephanie’s mother is getting agitated, and rightly so. For once, can the Little Brat not think about something other than herself? Seriously. It is one ceremony. Just one. For an older sister who died trying to help her. How dare the Little Brat not hold herself together?

The next thing I know, the moon is high in the sky and the final rites are being spoken by the priest. As exactly that moment, the Little Brat whispers something in her mother’s ear. Her mother turns and glares at her, causing the Little Brat to put her head down.

I then watch as the Little Brat stands up and walks away. She looks like she is in pain, and I hope that she is. How dare she walk away from her sister’s funeral! Especially in the middle of the last rites! I am tempted to follow her and give her a piece of my mind, but Stephanie means more to me than that.

I remind myself once again that I will get my revenge on Lily aka the Little Brat soon enough. For tonight, I must remain focused on the love of my life.

(Lily POV)

I am barely 14 years old, and so I have not been to very many funerals. I did not know all the rituals involved, and I did not know how long it takes to go through them all.

The funeral began at 2:00 PM, so I had anticipated that the ceremony and rituals would be done or at least mostly done prior to dark. I did not realize my mistake until it was too late, after I was seated next to my mother in one of the most visible places in the entire amphitheater. Had I realized what all was involved, I would have tried to find a seat in the back or on one of the sides. Doing so would likely have upset my parents, but not as much as begging to leave in the middle of Stephanie’s final rites.

I have never seen so many negative emotions from my parents before. My heart ached as I watched them hold on to each other and cry. I may not have seen Stephanie in the same light as they did, but I loved her. Most importantly, I loved and love them. I would do anything to make my parents’ pain go away.

On the bright side, perhaps making them angry with me was a good distraction. Instead of feeling sad, they could feel anger.

---