Filed to story: Sorry Alpha I Am Wolfless Novel
‘Where is he? Which way did he go? What happened to him? Didn’t he smell me too? Did he run away because he saw me?’ These were all the questions that my wolf was asking over and over inside my head. She was begging to know the answers to these questions and more and I didn’t know what to tell her, I had no answers for her at all.
“Where is he?” I asked the trees and empty area around me. His scent was here, I can smell it, but it was like it disappeared almost immediately. How did that happen? Could he hide his scent? The only ones I knew who could do that were warlocks and witches and this scent didn’t seem like that, they didn’t really have a scent at all. So he couldn’t be a warlock, could he?
I ran around the area five times, trying to follow his scent. I even went further toward the city but there was no trace of him. What happened? What could this all mean? I wasn’t crazy was I?
After what felt like hours of searching in vain and not finding hide nor hair of the man I had scented I finally started to head home. I slowly dragged my feet, depression settling on me with each step I took.
“Why doesn’t he want me?” I asked myself while tears streamed down my cheeks. “Am I not good enough for him?” I could hear my own voice cracking with emotion. “Who is he? I would like to know that at least, if he’s going to reject me.” The tears started to flow harder now as the realization hit me. “I’m never going to have a mate. And I am never going to get married or have a family.” My chest felt so heavy and my heart seemed to be so shattered that I couldn’t even feel it beating anymore. “Is there even a point to my life anymore?”
These depressive thoughts kept eating away at me as I slowly made my way home. When I pulled the front door shut behind me and dragged my feet toward the stairs I heard Dad’s light footsteps take on a thunderous tone as he stalked out toward me.
“Emmalee Rose Evans, where the hell have you been?” He thundered at me, but then he caught sight of my face. I must look awful. “Ems?” He called out to me as he swept me into his arms, picking me up off the floor and cradling me against his chest. “What happened baby girl? Did someone do something to you? I’ll kill him, whoever it is.”
“I smelled my mate today Daddy. That’s why I took off.”
“Well, that should be good news then, honey. Where is he? Who is he?” He seemed so happy at that moment, not understanding why I was so upset.
“I don’t know who he is Daddy. I don’t know where he is or what happened at all.”
“What? I don’t understand.” He huffed for just a quick second.
Dad was confused and needed time to think, so he adjusted me in his arms and carried me into the sitting room. He walked right over to my favorite oversized arm chair that was sitting next to the fireplace. With a small grunt he sat down, setting me on his lap as he did so.
I curled up into a ball, burying my face into his shoulder. Dad has always been able to make everything better. He’s always been able to fix anything no matter what it was. But I don’t think he could fix a broken heart.
“Alright Ems, tell me what happened, all of it. Don’t leave a single thing out.”
“Daddy, I smelled him. His scent was intoxicating and perfect. I took off to find him, to see him, but when I found the trail in the woods it just disappeared.”
“Disappeared?” that confused him. “Like a warlock?”
“But they don’t have any scent at all. He had a scent, and it was wonderful. Butterscotch and sugar, he smelled like a dessert for a party. It was perfect.” I was smiling wistfully at the memory of how his scent made me feel.
“Are you sure it was a mate scent?”
“Yes, Dad, I’m sure. My wolf was screaming it in my head.”
“Then it was probably just an old trail. Something that lingered.”
“Do you think so?”
“Yeah, it has to be. You’ll find him somewhere in the pack soon. You’re finally old enough to mate so you just haven’t noticed him before now, that’s all. Give it time, you’ll find him again.”
Dad’s words were comforting, and I hoped that he was right. But little did I know that I was never going to find him mixed in among my own pack. He was gone, and he wasn’t coming back here anytime soon.
****
Carter
****
I ran for hours. I didn’t go back to my apartment that I had in Bryce’s territory. I just ran and ran. I needed to only run at night and hide during the day since I was in my wolf form, and that meant that I didn’t have any clothes.
I didn’t mind the prolonged time in my wolf state. It gave me time to get my frustrations out. I just needed to destroy a few cave walls during the day, or knock down a few trees. It didn’t help all that much but it was still better than wallowing in my human mind all the time.
My wolf had whined incessantly since I had run away from my mate. After this trip back home was over I was going to have to avoid being in my wolf form for a very long time.
It took me two and a half days in all to get back home, being limited as I was with travel time. I went straight to my family’s house in the compound, I needed a shower and some sleep. And when I woke up in the morning, I would have to go straight to see the alpha.
I’m certain that Joaquin wouldn’t be happy with me for leaving Bryce’s pack so soon, but there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t be found out and I was the one who sacrificed the most during this mission.
I’m just glad that my mate didn’t see or smell me. I couldn’t bear it if she had noticed me and was suffering like I am. To know that I was causing her this kind of pain and sorrow, that would tear me apart.
I shifted back and climbed through my bedroom window, glad that I had my own private bathroom. I didn’t want to see or talk to my parents right now. I didn’t need to hear any ‘it’ll all work out’ babble. Right now all I wanted to do was take a hot shower, crawl into bed, and cry myself to sleep, which I hadn’t done since I was a little kid.
The water was scalding hot. Too hot to stand really. I had hoped that it would numb me and burn away my ability to ever feel again. But it didn’t and soon I left standing in water that was slowly turning cold.
I crawled out of the shower and barely dried off before I crawled, naked, into my bed. I couldn’t get comfortable at all. I tossed, turned, and hugged my pillow for hours before I finally drifted into an uneasy sleep.
I had very bad dreams when I did finally sleep.
I dreamt that my mate found someone else. I dreamt that once I settled this stuff with Riviana and I was finally able to try and work things out I was too late. I dreamt that I had to watch from afar as the only woman there was for me grew old loving another man, raising his kids, and I just wasted away into nothingness.
“Carter?” I woke to the sound of someone pounding on my door. “Carter!?” Mom was yelling at me from the otherside. “Carter answer me if you don’t want your mother seeing how much you’ve grown.” I groaned as I shook my head, shaking the sleep from my eyes and my mouth. Mom knew I always slept naked, ever since she walked in on me when I was fifteen and was able to last assess my development, I didn’t want a repeat of that now.
