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After kissing me for several seconds, he pulled back. “Thank you, Doe,” he breathed against my lips. “You won’t regret giving me your trust again. I promise.”
“Mm-hmm,” I hummed absentmindedly, clutching his huge biceps. My brain felt muddled after that kiss. I wanted more. I wanted to drown in him forever. “Just take me home, Ace.”
He grinned. “Your wish is my command.”
With a hand on my back, Ace led me out of the school and into the parking lot. He didn’t even bother going back to the science lab to grab our stuff, saying he’d ask Madoc to collect our backpacks.
He was a man on a mission.
I knew where Ace was taking me without even asking him. Since my parents were probably home, we were going to his house to be alone.
That realization made me pause.
Is this what I want? Is it a good idea to go back to where Mr. Stoll hurt me? I still have so many questions about what happened.
“Ace?” I asked as we approached his sleek black car.
It was such a nice day out, and for a moment, I basked in the warmth of the sunlight on my skin and the sound of the spring air rustling the trees.
It was nice to be able to think about other things now. I felt like I could finally breathe again.
Too bad I was about to ruin it.
“I, uh, have a question.”
“What is it, love?” He kept walking, pulling me onward by my hand.
When we reached his car, he opened the passenger side door for me, motioning for me to get in.
I took a step back. “I want to talk to you about something before you take me anywhere. There’s something that’s been bothering me.”
A groove appeared on his forehead. “Okay.”
I shuffled my feet. “Why…why was Clara in your room the other day?”
“What?”
“Clara was in your room the day of our fight. Alone. She had the code to your door and was looking through your things. I want to know why.” I stood a little taller.
Protectiveness went rampant on his face.
“Please tell me this isn’t something you’ve been worrying about while we’ve been apart. I think I’d actually die if you still thought there was something going on between Clara and me.”
I crossed my arms and raised my chin. “You said I was the only person besides you who had the code to your room, but that’s obviously not true.
“And you also said you were hanging out with Madoc after school on Friday, but when Clara found me at your house, she told me she was with you when you realized I was missing.
“So, yes, I’m a little worried about what is happening between you and Clara and why you clearly feel the need to lie to me about your relationship. Can you blame me?”
Ace hung his head with a loud sigh. “Fuck, I wish I would have known this was something you were thinking about. I would have put it to rest ages ago.
“I hadn’t even considered what it must have looked like to you when Clara showed up at my house.”
He hesitated for a moment. “I will never forgive myself for what I did to you the last time you went missing. I hurt you.”
I felt his eyes slide to my neck and the spot where he bit me. Goosebumps instantly sprouted there.
“I was so worried, and I…I wasn’t thinking and…”
He reached up and brushed his thumb over the small bump on my neck. I couldn’t hold back my shiver.
“I hurt you,” he stated again, quieter this time, the remorse in his tone practically tangible.
“So, when I thought you’d gone missing a second time, I knew I was at risk of losing control again. And I refused to put you in that sort of danger again.”
He framed my face in his hands. “I sent Clara to my house and gave her the code to my room so she’d bring me something to calm me down while I looked for you. So I wouldn’t do anything stupid.
“She didn’t have the code before that day, I promise. She’d never even stepped foot in my house before.”
“What did you ask her to get?” I asked.
He traced the sides of my jaw with his thumbs. I gripped his wrists tightly while I waited for him to respond.
“A…drug,” he finally told me. “A tranquilizer.”
“A tranquilizer?”
“Yes. I can show it to you when we get to my house if you want. I had a doctor prescribe it to me after…I bit you. I didn’t want to let anything like that happen ever again.”
His shoulders slumped with guilt. “Little good it did me. I still ended up hurting you.”
I shook my head. “You didn’t mean to. I know that. It wouldn’t even have hurt if your father hadn’t injured my shoulder first.”
“I still manhandled you, Doe.” He released my face and ran a hand through his hair.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know why I can’t just control myself when it comes to you.”
“Ace—”
“I know I don’t deserve you.” Ace took several steps back. “I think about it every goddamn day: how you’d be better off without me, how much happier you’d be if we’d never met. I’m not good for you.”
I was suddenly having difficulty breathing. “What…what are you saying, Ace? Do you”—I struggled to get the words out—“not want to be with me?”
Ace’s face filled with horror. “No! No, of course not. Of course I want to be with you.”
He rushed over to me, hauling me into his embrace. “That’s not what I meant. Not even close. I’ll always want you. I’ll always need you.
“And, let me tell you, if we hadn’t met on that cruise all those years ago, I would be working like hell to find you. Because I would know something is missing. You’re my other half. My soulmate.”
He squeezed me, then released a bitter laugh. “So, we’re stuck together, for better or for worse. Even if you decide you hate me one day, you’re never getting rid of me. I’m too selfish to let you go.”
I peered up at him. His words felt like a knife straight through my heart.
“Ace?” I waited until his eyes met mine. “I would be looking for you too. You know that, right? If we’d never met, you wouldn’t be the only one feeling like some part of them was missing.
“I don’t function without you, just like how you don’t function without me. We do stupid things when we’re apart.
“Yeah, maybe it’s not the healthiest relationship in the world. Some might even call it codependent.” I chuckled but the comment made him frown.
“But every relationship has its problems,” I continued. “I would be a mess without you. You ground me. I love you and I’m so unbelievably glad I met you. Even when we fight.”
He deflated a bit. “I love you too, Doe. So, so much.” He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to my mouth—one that ended too soon.
Ace molded his forehead to mine. “I’m sorry about Clara. I should’ve been the one to find you, not her.
“And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you she was going to hang with us at Madoc’s house. I truly didn’t think it worth mentioning. She’s no threat to you. I don’t think about her in that way.”
He tucked some of my hair behind my ear. “I’ve never been interested in her, Doe. I promise. I’ve only got eyes for you. You’re the only one I’ll ever want.”