I could still feel her but at the same time, it felt like she was so far away that I couldn’t reach her. My heart tugged for her, and I couldn’t help but blame myself. I shouldn’t have been so careless and stupid.
It’s not like I trusted Xander, but I didn’t think he would do something this horrific. He was my professor after all. He’s supposed to put his own personal feelings aside and just teach me the damn lesson.
At least that’s what I thought.
Instead, he had some kind of vendetta against me because I’m a Volana wolf. He was trying to kill me and that was obvious to me now.
I shook my head at the thought as the water washed the soap out of my hair.
My father was still interrogating Xander; I wondered if he was able to get any answers from him. Xander was working for somebody; I was sure of it. But his motives were unclear; it was like he was trying to prepare me for something in the worst way possible.
Like his lessons have been a warning.
I sighed and shut off the shower. I grabbed a warm towel off the shelf and wrapped my body in it. As I went over to my foggy mirror, I wiped my hand across it so I could see my appearance. I somehow looked older.
My hair was longer, and my face had thinned out slightly. My eyes were still sapphire blue and amethyst purple, but it seemed like they held more wisdom. I looked a lot like my mother, which was an honor because she was beautiful.
I smiled to myself as I finished getting dressed. I put on my clothes, brushed my teeth, and then threw my hair up in a messy bun before leaving the bathroom.
Becca was already awake and sitting on the couch with Rachel when I emerged from the bathroom.
“Welcome home,”
Becca said, peering up at me as I approached them. “Late night?”
“You could say that,”
I said, trying not to meet her eyes because my eyes would eventually reveal that I wasn’t being completely truthful.
“I’m going to take a shower,”
she murmured as she stood and went straight to the bathroom.
I sighed and sat on the couch beside Rachel whose eyes remained fixed on the TV.
“So, are you going to tell us what happened last night?”
She finally asked, still not looking at me.
“What do you mean?”
I asked, trying to appear innocent, but failing miserably.
“You didn’t come home. We were kind of worried about you,”
she said, and this time she glanced at me.
I stared down at my lap with a timid frown on my lips.
“I’m sorry,”
I said, shaking my head but more eat myself than at her. “Brianna needed me last night so I spent the night with her.”
“Your friend from home?”
“She’s my best friend,”
I corrected but agreed with a head nod as I looked at Rachel. “Her mate rejected her recently and she’s been really out of it. So, I spent some time with her.”
As I spoke those words, I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. Not only was I lying to my friend in front of her face, but I was also saying things that I should have done but haven’t. I should have spent more time with Brianna after she told me Alex rejected her. I should have been more there for her, but instead, I was wrapped up in my own stuff.
Well, actually, it was around the same time Jazzy was kidnapped and Diana’s village was in trouble. But still, Brianna deserved to have a friend in the corner during this heart-wrenching moment in her life. I didn’t even ask her how her wolf was…
I was a terrible friend to her, and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep the tears from surfacing in my eyes.
“How is she doing?”
Rachel asked, and now her voice was a lot softer and filled with compassion.
“She’s okay…”
I lied; I still continue to lie even after how guilty I feel.
What was wrong with me?
Not wanting to continue this conversation, I decided to change the subject.
“The election is in a couple of days, and I still don’t have a speech prepared,”
I said, shaking my head in misery.
“We can meet up after classes tonight and brainstorm some speech ideas,”
she suggested. “I’m sure Becca will help. She’s good at this stuff. I’m in her communications class and she prepared a speech that got her a standing ovation.”
“That’s amazing!”
I gasped. “Why didn’t she tell me that?”
I was a little hurt such a big accomplishment wasn’t shared with me. Did Becca think I wouldn’t care?
Rachel shrugged.
“You’ve been busy,”
she said, looking back at the TV. “One minute you’re here and the next you aren’t.”
I sighed for what felt like the millionth time.
“I’m sorry,”
I said, biting and chewing my bottom lip.
“It’s fine… we just miss you is all,”
she said, glancing at me briefly with a side smile. “You haven’t even asked about my boyfriend since he left the hospital.”
My heart fell into my stomach; how had I forgotten about Rache’s boyfriend? He almost died and because of that, Rachel overdosed on drugs because she couldn’t bear the thought of losing him.
They had known each other for a long time, and she was so sure he was going to be her mate. She turned 18 over the summer, a month before Brody’s 18(th) birthday, and I haven’t heard much about them since then.
But I knew that the thought of losing her mate nearly killed her. But thankfully, her boyfriend managed to survive, and Rachel had to go to a detox for 6 weeks.
She was in detox while I was in Monstro with Enzo and her boyfriend was recovering in the hospital.
When we returned to school this year, it was discovered that Rachel’s boyfriend had transferred to a different school in another region. So far, Rachel has seemed okay with that.
“How is he doing?”
I found myself asking. “I’m so sorry I haven’t asked, Rachel. How are you doing with the long distance?”
She shrugged.
“There is no long distance,”
she muttered. “We broke up over the summer.”
“What?!”
I gasped. “While you were in detox?”
“When I turned 18, I found out he’s not my mate. I didn’t want to keep him around with the chance of him finding his mate and then leaving me. So, yeah… I broke up with him.”
“Oh, Rachel… I’m so sorry…”
I breathed.
She shrugged.
“I’m fine… Becca was here for me and very kind,”
she said. “I think that’s how we became true friends.”
Rachel and Becca haven’t really known each other last year; maybe in passing. I was glad they were close friends currently, but I felt a ping of sadness.
“I should have been here,”
I said, and this time I couldn’t keep the tears from surfacing in my eyes.